Survival skills for the new age

Maybe we need to change in some way if we’re going to get through online school. Here are some ideas for what we can develop...

October 12, 2020 01:12 pm | Updated 01:12 pm IST

Have you read about the theory of evolution and survival of the fittest, in Biology, yet?

Basically, this dude called Charles Darwin said that evolution is a change in the characteristics of a species over several generations and relies on the process of natural selection. Natural selection means that some individuals in a species are better at surviving than others and will have more children because they’re stronger or better at surviving or something.

If online school goes on for any longer, I think that I’m going to have to undergo adaptations to survive.

For starters, I think compound eyes like a fly would be super helpful. After five hours of online school and three hours of homework, my eyes are so tired. Just imagine, if I had a whole bunch of tiny eyes, I could use some for school, some for IPL and some for homework. Who am I kidding? I’d use all for IPL.

Eight limbs are better than four. I really need an extra set (or two) of hands to keep up with all the homework. There are projects, homework, classwork, reflection, end-of-chapters assessments, ASL, AFL, Kahoot quizzes and Jam Boards. Okay, maybe eight limbs won’t be enough after all.

Clever hacks

Did you know that chipmunks use their cheek pouches to carry large amounts of food at once? I’d find that super handy, wouldn’t you? Somehow I’m hungry all day long when there’s online school! But we aren’t allowed to snack during class because, according to our Principal J Ma’am, we don’t snack during class in real school. So why should we snack during online school? But, if you knew there was a dabba ofmurukku two feet away, wouldn’t you want to snack too?

Did you know snakes can sleep with their eyes open? That’s because they don’t have eyelids! You know where I’m going with this, don’t you? I could just sleep through the history of the Delhi Sultanate and N Ma’am would never know. Okay, she might find out when she asks me a question and I don’t have an answer, but let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.

Wait! I’ve got it! Forget all of the above. Here’s the only thing I need to be able to do! You know caterpillars weave a cocoon for themselves and then emerge from them as butterflies? I’d like to sleep in a cocoon till COVID-19 is over and emerge with everything I need to know to get to the next grade fed into my brain while I’ve been asleep.

Now that’s called survival of the fittest!

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