By the time you read this column, I will be done with primary school. Yup, that’s right, I will no longer be a kid. Good bye Grade 5, hello middle school. Good bye khaki shorts on Thursdays and hello moustache. Ok. I’m not going to grow a moustache. They look itchy. But you know what I mean right? Once you’re in middle school you’re practically an adult. Ok, practically a teenager. Okay, okay, almost a teenager.
I was super excited about going to middle school, until we had our Moving Up ceremony which is kind of like a graduation ceremony. I thought it would be like a party with cake and chips and juice. Boy, was I wrong. The Moving Up ceremony was nothing but an excuse to get all of grade 5 together so that the middle school principal could terrorise us.
What a shocker!
M Ma’am is in charge of middle school, and till now I’d only seen her from a distance. She seemed to always be smiling, which I’d thought was nice, seeing how most teachers in my school look like they were born scowling. It wasn’t until the Moving Up ceremony that I figured out that her smile was a smile of pure evil.
M Ma’am spent 30 minutes telling us in great detail how hard middle school was going to be, and that no one was going to treat us like kids any more or be nice to us and that we should just get used to that RIGHT NOW. She practically rubbed her hands with glee when she announced that troublemakers wouldn’t get a chance to explain themselves to their class teacher or department co-ordinator, and that they’d be sent straight to her. She and only s he would decide what to do with ‘miscreants’. That means someone who has done something wrong or unlawful. Why did I feel like she was looking at ME the whole time? The worst I’ve ever done is start a water bottle squirt fight on the bus. Is that grounds for getting suspended?
The fun and games didn’t end there. Apparently, we now have to study 11 subjects, will have more homework and exams ALL THE TIME. How am I supposed to get selected to the Indian team, if I’m too busy studying about the digestive system to practise my bowling? Forget the Indian cricket team, if you don’t do well in your exams and submit your homework on time, they can throw you off the school team! I don’t get it! How will adverbs and clauses help me when I’m Captain one day?
Well, by the end of the Moving Up ceremony, everyone was pretty bummed, and I could see that no one was looking forward to middle school at all. Trust grownups to suck the fun out of everything.
Oh well, might as well enjoy the last few weeks of being a kid while I can!
Illustration: Sahil Upalekar
