Spit take Books

The this thing of the that thing

Pandemics, lockdowns, downturns, poverty, starvation, mental illness, locusts, the threat of war, tranquiliser darts – nothing can deter the Indian writer from the job at hand: book promotion. Given below is an excerpt of the social media exchange between a writer friend and her writer friends.

Writer: Super-excited to share the cover design of my new book, The This Thing Of The That Thing, that is coming out shortly. So totally excitedly super-duper excited.

Writer Friend 1: OMG. I just peed a little in excitement looking at the cover. The orangutan in a Fabindia kurta playing a cello is so lyrical. A violin would have made it... ho-hum. And the subtle touch of the man in silhouette mercilessly clubbing a soft toy in the background, like WOW! This is literary fiction. So dying to get my hands on your The This Thing Of The That Thing.

Writer Friend 2: Oh My Double Super God! I am writhing excitedly spurred by your excitement, WF1. Did you notice the title font? It is so achingly beautiful. I’m getting two copies of the book. I’ll read the recto pages from the copy in my right hand. And vice verso ... SWIDT! LOL!

Writer: ROFLMAO!! You are like PG Wodehouse crossed into Yogi Babu. God, I so love that you love my book so.

Writer Friend 3: Hey, WF 1 and WF 2, I am dying to witness with my own eyes both your excitements based on Writer’s original excitement. Let’s do a super-excited FB Live reading of our joint and individual excitements. I’ll read the copyright page.

Writer: Awwww. You’re making me cry. I’m super-excited already by the imminent release of my book which led to WF 1’s incontinent excitement. Then WF 2 says this. And, you, WF 3, you had to outdo that with the FB Live idea. How much love can a best-selling writer take in one day.

WF 1: Hey, I haven’t even begun. I am so super-excited by the book, I’m going to have the opening para tattooed on the back of my neck.

Writer Friend 2: Cool. But make sure the typo in para 1 is corrected (I just read the preview on Amazon). In line three, it says ‘exited’ instead of ‘excited’.

Writer: OMG, really? Thanks, WF 2. You have a keen eye. You caught this one just like I caught the ‘yatch’ one in the title of your debut book, Purple Yatch On The Poignant Backwaters. LOL!

WF 2: Thanks for reminding me, Writer. Too sweet, you are. I changed it in the reprint (sold 19,238 copies, but who’s counting).

WF 3: Yes, you did. But the spelling of ‘poignant’ became ‘poingant’. Poing! Like a cartoon sound effect. LOL. But hey, who cares, right? You got the Siromani Wet Grinders Debut Fiction Award.

Writer: Erm, let’s not get diverted, sweeties, let’s do the FB Live, no? So ultra-super excited.

WF 1: Hey, can I talk a little bit about my last book then? As you may remember my The Unbearable Heaviness Of Being... Kumbhakarna was nominated for Udipi Shri Shanti Vilas’ Best Second Book By A First-Time Writer Award.

Writer: Er, okay, but how is it relevant? Yours was a futuristic mythological cookbook. Mine is a performance-poetic semi-fictional self-improvement literary memoir. Let’s keep it about me, no, for a bit?

WF 1: TTYL. The corporation guy is at the door to take our temperatures.

WF 2: BFN. Hubby calls.

WF 3: Me, too. Kiss kiss.

Krishna Shastri Devulapalli is a satirist. He has written four books and edited an anthology.

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Printable version | Aug 13, 2020 7:24:12 PM | https://www.thehindu.com/books/the-this-thing-of-the-that-thing/article32241454.ece

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