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Parenting, a serious role

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Togetherness: A happy family.
Togetherness: A happy family.

The other day a news item caught my attention. It was about a 38 year old woman getting a second lease of life after oncologists at Government Hospital, Madurai, contained her cancerous growth. But they had to make do with her right arm and shoulder. And this brave lady who perhaps stoically withstood all her pain of surgery and trauma of disability finally had a lone grievance – that she would no longer be able to “serve” her husband as she did earlier.

Now, that is the quintessential Indian woman who puts her husband’s (and children’s) concerns before hers. But who is the “quintessential Indian man”?

Ask any woman and she invariably would ask for a person who is more “caring, sharing and understanding”, “who is more involved in raising the family”, “is flexible and like a sponge absorbing all emotions sportingly, “is an active parent”…

An active parent, yes, that’s what all women look for in their spouses once children come along. Whether she is a working woman or not, but if dads tend to share in more of the daily child-rearing tasks, then it is a huge plus for the family.

But in most homes, absentee dads carry on raising juniors by delegating all responsibilities to the mother, who is undeniably more nurturing. Parenting is a serious role for both partners. But why can’t men figure it out that what really matters most in life is savoring time with kids and making every moment count?”

Soma Basu

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