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Stuck in the same groove

MINI ANTHIKAD-CHHIBBER
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Surreal romance: (From left) Actors Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner at the premiere of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse in Los Angeles. — Photo: AFP
Surreal romance: (From left) Actors Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner at the premiere of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse in Los Angeles. — Photo: AFP

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (English)

Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Bryce Dallas Howard, Billy Burke, Dakota Fanning

Director: David Slade

Watching the third instalment of “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” was the weirdest experience. There were girls deliriously screaming every time Robert Pattinson as vegan vampire Edward Cullen and Taylor Lautner as werewolf Jacob Black made cow's eyes Kristen Stewart, playing Bella Swan, the human angle in the cross-species love triangle.

I was almost tempted to squeal along — mainly in dismay at the abysmal acting and the incredibly clunky dialogue.

Based on Stephanie Meyer's super popular series of books, Eclipse picks up from where the earlier movie left off. It, however, does not further the plot or characters in any way. Bella, Edward and Jake continue to sit in meadows with sparkling skin, pouting and speaking rubbish.

Victoria wants to create an army of newborns to kill off Bella. Newborns, incidentally are not infants, they are newborn vampires. The vampires and werewolves collaborate to meet the threat. Edward and Bella decide to marry after which, Bella will turn into a vampire and live happily ever after. Jake of course will have none of it as he is sure Bella loves him.

The action quotient has been upped and so has the gore (vampires, werewolves and no gore?) but the CGI ensures it is not engaging. It is unfortunate that actors of the calibre of Bryce Dallas Howard (Victoria) and Dakota Fanning (Jane) are made to stand around while the three non-actors hog screen space.

Pattinson with his white face and red lips is beginning to look like a creepy androgynous geisha while Lautner needs to invest in a belt to keep his low-rise trousers from totally slipping off. With his constant shirtless look, he seems to be giving our very own Salman Khan a run for his money. Twilight fans will love the movie anyway while the others can amuse themselves with anthropological exercises or giggle at dialogues like “All of a sudden, it's not gravity holding you to the planet. It's her” or better still “Well, I ‘am' hotter than you”.

MINI ANTHIKAD-CHHIBBER

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