Give them some credit

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What would you do if you were to become stinking rich without raising a stink? Go to space for a holiday? Fill a swimming pool with your favourite elixir and stay high? Travel in a limousine to your backyard?

There is no need to worry about spending riches. Just get a credit card with the highest credit limit and gift it to your wife or to your teenaged daughter. They will take care of your `riches'.

V.V. Siva Rama Krishna Rao


One for Sonia

If the liquor baron could get back Tippu's sword, maybe I'll trade for the `Kohinoor' diamond or the `Peacock Throne' and just guess to whom I'll pass it on? Yeah, you're right - Soniaji!

Megha A.


Live a fairy tale

All those who have kilos of gold should donate it to Lord Venkateshwara so that He will clear off his debt to Kubera. Moreover, we can construct the entire temple with golden bricks so that we get punyam and purushartham and can lead a peaceful life without fear of Anti Corruption Bureau. Otherwise it is a good idea to make a movie with Tollywood top actress as heroine and you will act as hero of the film. It is nothing but investment no question of profits. Buy a separate island in the Lakshadweeps and live happily ever after.

Kusuma Dayakar


Will buy fresh air

I will have all the woodwork of my bungalow made with sandalwood. Store thousands of litres of fragrance and get sprayed in and around it 24x7 so that I escape from the stink of Musi. Maintain a farm where fresh vegetables and fruits will be grown, raise dairy and poultry of my own to avoid adulterated food. And my twin engine `Yadagiri' will anyway be ever ready to fly me out of this concrete jungle as frequently as I feel like breathing fresh air.

M.A. Hakeem


Unlimited talk time

I will take a mobile connection and go on chatting continuously with the anchors of different television channels throughout the day. I'm sure that all my money will be finished during this unlimited talk!

G. Nageswara Rao


Bribes all the way

If I become stinking rich, I would give bribes to factory owners to treat toxic wastes from their factories entering rivers and the air. I would give bribes to corrupt bureaucrats to vacate their chairs.

I would give bribes to lazy officials to give way for enthusiastic youngsters. I would give bribes to all those MPs and MLAs who earn money in unethical ways to leave their posts. I would give bribes to all the young couples to opt for one or none to reduce population. I would give bribes to striking doctors for salary hike to save people. May be these bribes would change our country one day.

N. Arun


Making a splash

I shall hire all leading world cricketers and organise a benefit match in my name and I shall invite all the public without accepting a single pie in the name of tickets. I shall construct the eighth wonder of the world a la Taj Mahal and present it to my wife as her birthday gift. I shall plunge into active politics and contest parliamentary elections in order to win a seat by spending the money lavishly.

V. Nagendra Kumar


Not a total flop

Venture to finance a Telugu film. You can be sure it will be a flop but you will achieve what you desire -- to arrange a get-together inviting politicians and film stars for the fifth birthday of your pet dog in a five star hotel!

C. Subramaniam


Global short cut

With all the riches, I'll built an underground pathway digging a hole across the globe and this will definitely serve as the best short cut whenever you want to go to the other end of the hemisphere.

G. Nikhil


Golden thoughts

I will take Bill Gates and Laxmi Mittal as my employees. Build my house with pure gold sovereign bricks and lay the roof with golden sheets.

Seshagiri Row Karry


Free floating funds

Unaccounted income and wealth will not be stashed under mattresses or hoarded in bank lockers. I'll allow it to float freely in the real economy.

There is always the film industry, which is largely funded by such `stink' money. Or maybe with the help of a film art director I will build a replica of Sabarimalai's Swami Ayappa temple.

To bring sanctity and authenticity to it, I'll declare that the Lord Himself appeared in my dream to build one so that our `Men in Black' need not have to trek all the way to Kerala. Howzzat?

J. Akshay Akshobhya


Apt alternative

A famous `Panchatantra' quote goes: "Troublesome to acquire, troublesome to protect, troublesome if lost, troublesome if spent. Money is nothing but trouble from beginning to end..." If I were to choose an alternative word for money that would fit the above quote today, I would aspire for power!

J.S. Acharya


Dream big

If I were a rich person, I would buy a big house with a helipad, a cool pool and a cricket stadium. I will use ropeway to move from one place to another in my house. I will invite Sachin and Sehwag to play in my stadium to entertain my kids and I will appoint Greg Chappel to coach my kids (I will not entertain any mails from him). I will conduct my own `KBC Eleven' for the MPs to answer my queries.

Pradeep Kumar M.


Whose welfare?

I will start an NGO on a lavish scale, initially for the welfare of the underprivileged. Over a period of time, it will be for my welfare.

S. Hemalatha


Underground palace

A house may be planned with a hut above ground level and in the underground we can plan a palace, with all luxuries like swimming pool, mini-theatre, etc. Then, we can lead a normal ordinary life in the hut and a luxurious life in the underground palace. Passes can be given to our friends and relatives and entry can be regulated. This way, outsiders will not know about our wealth and ACB or CBI will have nothing to do with us. P.N.V.

Ramana Babu




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