A single woman wonders why a good man is so hard to find
At the age of 28, I have met several interesting men, some of whom have become my closest friends. It is true that in a relationship between a man and a woman, very rarely is friendship high on the agenda; one party always wants more. Once the initial attraction subsides and when the relationship reaches its equilibrium, it is by far the best friendship to have.
So, why is it that I cannot seem to find a life partner when I seem to be very popular as a friend? No. I am not un- attractive; I am average by global standards; definitely nowhere close to an Angelina Jolie, but hey! I am not even interested in a Brad Pitt look-alike. Besides, my first rule about dating is that never date a man better looking than ‘moi’!
Am I being too picky when it comes to choosing a life partner? Are qualities that I seek impossible to find in one man? Is love that hard to find? Each year passes by, and with every year gone I find myself more in tune with my mind and heart to know what it is exactly that I am looking for. Many may think, my mother included, that this is a scenario set for doom, for knowing too much of what you want will only end up throwing you off course. I beg to differ!
What people do not realise is that when I often refer to my perfect man, that perfection is purely one’s own perception — a king to me may be a pauper to you, but as long as in my kingdom he rules, my heart is content. The qualities I seek for in a man are 99 per cent of the qualities every woman is looking for, so why is it that I get badgered when I speak out what I wish for. A famous foursome once sang “all you need is love”. Love is definitely high on my criteria list — passionate love, unconditional love, innocent love and lastly, but most importantly, everlasting love — but I know better than to base all on love. I know that the values and beliefs of two individuals coming together must be of the same origin. For if the foundation is robust, the building will only be stronger.
A very wise young man once said to me “only fools dream of that, that they can’t have”. So, I ask myself this ever so often: am I a fool for wanting it all?
With my requirements all set, where do I search for this good man? Google? Technology has spoilt us to an extent where the Internet can give you anything you are looking for, a man included.
I have yet to resort to the Internet. Catch me at 33 and, maybe, I will be number one on the search engine. For now, I am going to place my trust in the world, in destiny and more than ever trust in myself to find my perfect man. Some find it at 20, some find it at 40. I am willing to wait, for good things come to those who wait…