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SMALL GESTURES MATTER Women are happy with so little
SMALL GESTURES MATTER Women are happy with so little

Women are simple, un-demanding, unfussy beings with few needs and lesser wants, writes BINDU TOBBY

Years ago, while attending a pre-marital couples counselling course with my significant other, there was a list of ‘expectations-from-spouse-to-be' that the group had to rate in order of importance. ‘Reassurance' seemed to rank topmost in the list for women. The men were plainly baffled that we women could rank something “that trivial and absurd so highly”.

Of course many years later my battle-hardened husband does to some extent understand the import of the word. He knows it implies the need to ponder for a few moments before answering my judicious, “I don't look fat, do I?” question. It means that once in a way he needs to admit that my cooking is at least 70 per cent (after haggling of course) as good as his mom's way of making the same dish. What do we women want? Are we that complex a being that men make us out to be? Again, what is it that our men think we want? Somehow most men I know think that women as a tribe are a complicated bundle of emotionally strung, talkative, nagging, moody, control freaks. And most women I know seem to think that men will be men — all they want is to laze on the sofa in their jammies through the entire weekend and spend an hour on their thrones in the morning with the newspaper.

“Men are creatures of convenience, and we women spend half our lives wanting to make them not take the easy way out!” quips Priya Shanbag, who has been married five years. “So whether it's about small things like not leaving their wet towels on the bed after a bath or the bigger issues of balancing work-life, or spending quality time with kids, we women want our men not to just sit back and relax but to share some of the ‘load!'.” She adds laughing, “Of course, each time we scream out the to-do list, they again take the easy way out by simply labelling us nags and chatter boxes!”

Agrees Reshma Mathias, who has been in a relationship for the last two years. “We women are really not as demanding as the men make us out to be. Come on, all we want is for them to give us a quarter of the attention they pay to the highlights of a cricket match!” She says that one of her pet peeves with her boyfriend is that he mentally ‘switches' off by the time she reaches the second sentence in a conversation. “Of course if I go into my sermonising mode when I catch him red-handed stealing a snooze or having a glazed-over look in the middle of my chatter, he almost invariably falls back on the easy ‘it's not that time of the month is it' line, and that line ignites me like a cannon ball,” she laughs.

To be fair, it may seem that we women want a whole lot from our men. But truth be told, it may actually be too easy to have your woman drool over you. Try surprising your wifey dear with a steaming hot cuppa on a random rainy morning and see her response. Volunteer to cook a weekend meal and clean the mess after. (Big brownie-point!) Empathise with her when she comes back from the parlour after the waxing and tweezing regimen (Aha! The points have started multiplying.) Give her (albeit voluntarily) a peck on the cheek before you both part ways to work in the mornings (that can almost be your offset for ‘switching off' the whole of the previous evening). And do not, repeat, do not ask her the ubiquitous “Is it that time of the month?” question whenever she is irritated or angry. Truth is, it maybe, but we women will never accept that.

I can go on, but good sense tells me to stop.

I come back to my original argument. For all the laughter, joy and fun that we women bring to your lives, we are after all, simple human beings with few needs, hardly any wants and lesser demands. I'm sure the men couldn't agree more.

WAKE UPIts universally agreed(among us women) thatyou men are after all,creatures ofconvenience, so try totake the less easy wayout once in a while

We women are not as highmaintenance as the menmake us out to be - all ittakes is a few words andfewer actions and yourwoman will be swooningall over you

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