Acting – Though most cats will only qualify for slapstick comic parts, some can pull off more complex roles such as ‘cat pretending not to understand the word vet’ that involves a deadpan expression with glassy eyes followed by a mad dash under the couch, where they will stay until you put away the cat carrier.
Detective work – All new objects brought into the house must undergo a mandatory sniff test. Empty cardboard boxes must be surrendered to the cat for further investigation, and will probably not be returned to the owner.
Pest control – Rodents in the neighbourhood know better than to come within a mile of your kitchen. Your feline friends stay up at night and flex their muscles, for they take their job as protector rather seriously.
White noise generators – One of the best things about cats is their silent, steadfast companionship. If you’re looking for the perfect balance between solitude and company, pay attention to that gentle, rhythmic purring on a quiet afternoon.
Medicine – They lower your blood pressure, keep you on your toes and wake you up in time for a wholesome breakfast. If you’re the type who works from home, you have the added bonus of your doctor distracting you every few minutes by walking over your keyboard or batting a catnip toy, demanding that you take a break and clear your mind.
Live art –They’re acrobats, athletes and entertainers all rolled into one clumsy bundle of fur. Whether they’re just washing their faces with freshly licked paws or lying fast asleep on their backs on your cluttered sofa, a cat is always an exquisite work of art. (For feedback, email to firstname.lastname@example.org with your city and number).