Interview If a child goes the wrong way, it is not the child who is to be blamed; it is the parents who are responsible, says Shiv Khera
H e can motivate you to take up tasks you dread. That's Shiv Khera, motivational speaker and author of books such as “You Can Win”. He has added a new area to his wide range of topics — positive parenting.
“Parents do not have the courage to say no to certain things their children demand; they are rather scared of their children. Today, it is like a popularity contest among the parents. They do not understand what is good and what is wrong for their children. The erosion of extended family concept and losing out on values are the two things that are primarily responsible for the growing mismatch in the parent-child relationship. Through the positive parenting concept, I try to instil back some of the values, to create a more positive environment. If a child goes the wrong way, it is not the child who is to be blamed; it is the parents who are responsible.”
The source of happiness
He points out that happiness is important, but more important is the source of happiness. “And, this is where the value system comes into existence. In our times, birthdays were celebrated with our parents taking us to a school for the visually-challenged or an orphanage. And, we would spend time distributing sweets and chocolates and playing with children there. That concept is lost now. Today, we are more interested in showing off our wealth by hosting birthday bashes in star hotels. Lots of things depend on the upbringing of a child,” he says. On children taking up professional courses under parent and peer pressure, he says: “Do not look at it as pressure. Parents want to infuse the idea of financial security in the minds of the children. By taking up a professional course, the child's career. It is the equation between possibility and probability. What is possible may not be probable, and vis-à-vis.”
Shiv Khera is working on a book on positive parenting. His other book include “Living with Honour”, “Freedom Is Not Free” and his latest is “You Can Sell”. On his popular quote ‘Winners don't do different things, they do things differently', he says: “There is no difference between a winner and a loser. They have the same feelings, but a winner has the ability to convert a negative situation into a positive one.”
Shiv Khera has dabbled with Indian politics, and even contested as a candidate for Bharatiya Rashtravadi Samanata Party from South Delhi. But right now, he says, politics has taken a back seat. “I am not out of politics. It is only hibernation. But, what pains me is the state of leadership in our country. The country is starved of good leaders.” On his organisation, Country First Foundation, he says it is a social organisation with focus on creating awareness on three concepts — ‘right to elect and right to reject', ‘witness protection programme', and ‘reservation on economic condition and not on caste basis'. On his future plans, Shiv Khera informs that he plans to start an institute on leadership management, and take forward the positive parenting programme in a big way across the country.
From a car washer to life insurance seller in the U.S. Shiv Khera has today become a motivational speaker. And, it all happened after attending a lecture delivered by Norman Vincent Peale.
Shiv Khera signs off: “Attitudes change in three seconds, if you appeal to the head and heart. It happened to me at Peale's session, and it can happen to everyone else.”