FASHION Candy pink looks hot on men on the ramp. But it does not work as well on the boy next door
Look, we’re not trying to be sexist or anything. We have nothing against men, and in fact, wherever possible, we try really hard to be inclusive… why, we would only be too thrilled if men stormed a few female bastions.
We would greatly appreciate it if they somehow figured a way to start having babies; we would actively encourage them to take charge of the kitchen and draw-up elaborate weekly menus. (and, of course, execute the same); we would even applaud them if they decided to thread their brows. But, we draw a line when it comes to wearing girly colours. Like candy pink. And peach. Oh, and parrot-green too.
Why these perfectly nice colours are so ew, ew, when worn by men, we have no clue.
One gentleman we asked said it was all just indoctrination, and that given half a chance a man would look as yummy-in-pink as women do. Another argued that these colours looked good on females only because women are so chic and they’ve (ha-ha) got the right curves!
The cool look
Whatever be the case, we understand men may suddenly develop these urges to look cool, hip, maybe even metrosexual.
So we thought we would be doing thema great service by letting them know which colours are just not on. (besides it’s not like too many men can actually get away with it…)
For instance, candy-pink looks hot on hot men on the ramp. These men typically have six-pack abs and their shirts are seldom buttoned. They are, as a rule, assiduously accessorised — uber-cool sunglasses, tattooed biceps, spray-painted jeans, the works. Naturally, this colour doesn’t sit well on aprosperous paunch and/or balding pate.
Pastel pink is altogether a different ball game… Though it is fast finding a place in the men’s formal section, it is still an explosive colour that needs to be handled with great care. Few men can carry it off withthe panache of Tony Blair; and to team it with a pink tie, man, you really need guts.
Lots of it!
There are some shades that are wholly suitable for men, like those in between a bilious and jungle green. But lime and parrot green are best left to women, not to be attempted unless the man in question is a Madhavan. Canary yellow looks great on men. In the Canary Islands. It is not a wise idea to try this elsewhere in the world, especially if one is an ageing male movie star.
Bright blue works very well on the male kingfisher. Not on Homo sapiens. And as for peach, it looks great on males. So what does this really leave men with? Besides boring old black, brown and grey? Well, there’s white.
And light blue. And, er, that’s about it. But, like we said in the beginning, men can always make up for the lack of colour in their lives by trying to wrestle our roles from us. We would gladly, give some of them up.