Don’t snipe at pushy moms as they bring success to their daughters
If behind every successful man there is a woman, guess who is behind a successful woman? Her mother! Daughters of pushy mothers turn out to be more successful, according to a new study. The study claims that a mother’s expectation from her daughter is what decides how successful the latter would be in her professional encounters.
It is found that women, whose mothers have high hopes for them feel more in control of their lives by the age of 30. Bonding between a mother and a daughter may start late as daughters generally are papa’s little angels but the truth is that daughters share a special and unique relationship with their moms.
The study results indicate that women’s self-esteem has a direct connection to their mother’s belief in them, even when factors such as the children’s intellectual ability and their parents’ wealth are taken into account. The mother-daughter relationship is one of the most intense relationships a woman will ever experience — it is strong and primary.
Mothers usually give permission in the form of positive messages which are often direct words and actions giving the child to think and behave in a specific manner: “It’s all right to make mistakes!” or “You thought out the problem well” or even “You are good. You can make it in the world”.
Sushmita, a teacher, recounts an interesting incident. “At a supermarket, a mother and her 10-year-old daughter are busy picking up groceries. Despite her tender age, the young girl picks out cereals and pulses with confidence. Her actions prove that her mother has trained her not only to be a successful shopper, but as an individual whose tastes are acceptable and whose choice does matter!”
For some, chaperoning star daughter to shoots really comes with the territory of being a celebrity mom. A few are pushy and interfering, some are quiet and unobtrusive, but nearly all of them keep a watchful eye on how their careers take off.
Film actor Madhuri Dixit’s mother, though used to be a fixture at all her daughter’s shoots, took enough care not to throw her weight around. Yesteryear ‘dream girl’ Hema Malini had her mother Jaya Chakravorty as her promoter and well-wisher. Life, it appears, has come full circle for her as she leads her daughter Esha Deol to the path of success.
Novelist Anita Desai, also the proud mom of the recipient of the Booker prize, Kiran Desai represents the same genre. “My mother and I have worked together in India, Mexico and the United States,” says Kiran. “I don’t know what I would have done without her presence.” Along with the right nudge, genes too play a part in making successful daughters, as it is said that the intelligence gene comes from the mom.HARJEET KAUR ALLAGH