An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display at that time.

“You know George, I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied.

“The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 27 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The guy was your doctor.”

***

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.” “That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?” “Twenty-six,” he said.

Five mornings a week, my husband goes to the health club, gets on the stair-stepper, sets the timer, and buries his nose in a book. Recently, he noticed an amazingly fit middle-aged woman who seemed to run circles around everyone, took few breaks, and rarely even broke a sweat. “It’s not fair,” he complained. “By the time I’m dragging myself off to the showers, she’s hopping back onto the stepper for another session.” One day he came home with a sheepish grin. “Well,” he said, “they’re identical twins.”

(Source: Internet)

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