BABITA NARAYANAN

Think before you react

O ne of the queries I had was – “If I were to exercise my freewill, will there be consequences”? Of course there are repercussions and that is the choice we have to make. The consequences may or may not be very pleasant or expected. But we all have choices in life, in everything, in every situation. The options may be difficult but they are there.

Like we were discussing in the previous article, before any of our actions, we have to repeatedly question ourselves and get answers that are satisfactory to us and to our conscience. Most of the time, we play the blame game.

Why did I do that?

Oh! That is because I was provoked!

The situation was like that!

I get angry very fast!

I had a bad childhood!

I am moody!

It was an impulsive act!

Someone did that to me! I was just responding!

We blame everything and everybody except us. We conveniently forget that we are solely responsible for every thought, word and deed. Initially, for a few days, you may have to consciously guide yourself through the series of these questions and very soon it will be second nature to you.

Is this the right response? Think about this. You are not responsible for someone's words or deeds but you are definitely responsible for your response. So give it a thought. If you feel it's not the right response, then avoid it.

Does he/ she deserve this response? If they don't, then don't do it. Our actions and consequences could be irreversible ( like it is most of the time) and its worse when its undeserved.

What would be the repercussions? Would I hurt him/ her? The worst thing we could do to anyone is to hurt them, intentionally or otherwise. We really don't gain anything by hurting people, maybe some temporary feeling of victory or elation.

What are my feelings after my response? Would I regret it? If you are going to have regrets or if you feel unhappy, disappointed, upset then it's an absolute no-no. Why put yourself through all this?

Is this response necessary? Will you gain by this? Will anyone gain by this? Most of the time it's a lose -lose situation and completely unavoidable.

Would it cause any permanent damage? There is nothing more worse than this. Causing someone permanent and irreversible damage. We continue to live in guilt.

Can I revoke it if I want to? If you cannot, then forget it.

Follow these simple rules and you will be living a more blissful and peaceful life.

(The writer is an image makeover consultant and can be contacted at babita@persona24carats.com)

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