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“I like hearing CNN's Fareed Zakaria ask in a thick Indian accent, 'What kind of America do we want to return to?'" Ann Coulter, a conservative U.S. commentator with a large following, and a supporter of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, tweeted recently.
In a post on her website, she ridiculed the Pakistani-American father of a slain American solider whose speech at the Democratic National Convention last month made national headlines in the U.S. “Khan's argument, delivered angrily and in a thick Pakistani accent at the DNC is that 'our' Constitution requires us to continue the non-stop importation of Muslims,” she said, in a blatant distortion of the argument that he made.
English diction has thus become part of the ongoing debate on American identity — a major component of Donald Trump’s campaign. I have had the opportunity to hear Ms. Coulter live at a Trump rally in New Hampshire during the primaries. I am not sure whether she would be able to differentiate my accent from Mr. Zakaria’s, but in India, diversity embraces accents too. A former colleague of mine, a Punjabi, thought my accent was "Madrasi", never mind that the Malayali accent is distinct from a Tamil one. ' Ek aur Madras bana diya ?' (Did they create another Madras?), the same guy exclaimed when Telangana was created.
Although my thick, defiantly curly mop of hair has long since receded and the Malayali suicidal urge — manifested most expressly in the consumption of red chilly and masala — has long since been overcome, the accent has remained steadfastly loyal through my journeys. The only possible outside influence it has accepted over the years is perhaps that of Bhojpuri! I lauved Channel V’s Lola Kutty – Beauty on Duty and these days I am ambushing unsuspecting guards at government buildings and restaurant waiters in different parts of America with my accent.
‘English-speaking’ has ceased to be a meaningful attribute to describe the Indian elite ever since every Tomar, Deepak and Hari began speaking it. English-medium ‘convent’ schools sprout at a rate equal to RSS shakhas , and I suspect there is one named after St. Lucifer too, somewhere in India. So what differentiates the brown sahibs from the pretenders is no longer the ability to simply read or write in English, but on how it is spoken. It's all about diction.
In India, English spoken with the right diction is the best camouflage to bigotry and xenophobia. That is why the handful of BJP stalwarts who are educated in Western universities could say in English what Sadhvi Prachi says in colloquial Hindi and not cause the same outrage. If the Sadhvi had gone to Oxford or Syracuse, she would have said the same thing in English and written books on how Christians, Dalits and Muslims are a threat to India and still remained a “moderate” face. English, nay, English spoken in good diction and written in good prose, is not only the ladder for social mobility but also a perfect façade for violence and intolerance.
In America, Indian gatherings are a khichdi or aviyal – take your pick –of accents. At a recent one in support of Hillary Clinton that I attended, Bengalis attacked "Tromp" and Malayalis attacked "Trumb". Tamilians were more for "Hilaary". Amma Hilaary has, after all, been inspired by Puratchi Thalaivi Jayalalithaa, as an AIADMK MLA >discovered recently . After a quick comparison of the 2016 AIADMK manifesto and the Democratic Platform of Ms. Clinton, I think I agree. There is no scope to distribute colour TVs free in America though! Despite the disparate accents, Indian Americans seemed united on one factor – only Ms. Clinton can protect the diversity of America like the way Modi-ji does in India.
At the end of the event, a millionaire Democratic fundraiser who took me out to dinner lamented how Indians spoke with horrible accents. “One has to make efforts, you know,” he told me. “I practise it a lot. For instance, it is North Kare-o-line-ah, not North Karo-leena. I had to learn this.” “North Carolina,” I tried. “No, North Carolina.” With a Muslim name to boot, my host would never pass the test of Ann Coulter, no matter how much he trains himself, I told myself, and gave up.
Indians have not only invaded America with pronunciations that many Americans cannot understand, but also with names that Americans can’t pronounce. Reverse engineering the names of Indian Americans has become my favourite pastime these days. My neighbour Naren is Narendranathan Kalyanasundaram. Sundararajan has become Sundar and the CEO of Google. Pankaj Paul? Well, he was Pankajpal Choudhary in his earlier birth. Ron Sanyal was Arunava Sanyal when he arrived in a rural county in North Carolina in 1975 — the first brown person some 200 white people would see in their life. Someone suggested they call him Ron. “You can call me Pope John Paul. I don’t care. All I want is a job,” he had told them apparently.
Theorists of globalisation have argued that it is a global coalition of elites for whom national boundaries have ceased to exist. When poor people cross boundaries, they are infiltrators or refugees mostly. Of all the Indians who arrived in the U.S and joined the global club of elites, Mr. Zakaria has a special place.
He is not any other immigrant. Mr. Zakaria, a Muslim born and raised in Mumbai, became a U.S citizen when the neoconservative project of 'saving' Muslims all over world from despotism was taking shape. Seeding democracy “laser-guided,” as a wit put it. Mr. Zakaria was initially a supporter of the war in Iraq, and later turned a critic. Mr. Zakaria is not merely a beneficiary of globalisation though he occupies its summit; he has contributed to shaping the neoliberal world order and in interpreting it. An attack on his ethnicity draws in stark and unsettling terms, the challenges to the globalisation project.
If Ms. Coulter and her cohorts could actually scare enough number of people — as Barack Obama put it — on the basis of their looks, race, and now accent, and Mr. Trump indeed goes on to occupy the White House, they will have an immediate problem to deal with: a First Lady who speaks with an accent. Born in Slovenia, Melania Trump will be first First Lady in nearly two centuries who was not born in the country (the first and the last was in 1825.) And her accent boosts my confidence, just like Lola Kutty did years ago.
Now that Ms. Coulter and Mr. Trump have set the gold standard of English diction, I have decided to throw in the towel and surrender to my Malayali accent. Who wants to speak like Trumb or Coulter! Count me out. Simbly speaking.
