Is the smile lost?
RADHIKA SOUNDAR
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A group of teens get together every week to talk about what bothers them.
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K.R. Deepak
Foster the right attitude.
I watched the participants come in. Their hesitancy and nervousness was apparent. This was a 14 to 17- year-old group that met weekly to talk about life.
In the beginning they were silent and the hour was spent just listening to me.
And then one day Gita came in crying. The girls tried to comfort her but the boys seemed helpless. "My parents just don't understand my desire to be a dress designer. They want me to take up some lousy course. I won't do it! I'll fight them till the end!"
And this started the whole group talking.
"My parents keep arguing all the time. I just can't concentrate."
"My friends are asking me to smile. I don't think that's right. Not because my parents say so, but because I think so. They don't understand. They tease me. I'm afraid they won't be friends with me anymore. I am torn between them and my ideals. I don't know what to do!"
"Whatever I do, however I fare, I don't seem to satisfy my parents."
"Just because he couldn't be a doctor he cannot expect me to become one."
"What is the point of living this life? A life of hurt and pain, shame and disappointment."
Talking about pain
They opened up and week after week and shared the troubles. Their confusion and conflicts began to find acceptable answers.
We understood its form and the different dimensions it can take; be it anger, hatred, shame, guilt, jealousy, suspicion or any other emotion. The helplessness and worthlessness we experience render us defenceless against agony.
And then there are those of us to whom life's milder discomforts constantly nag, making us preoccupied and careless.
Adolescence is a very precarious stage — the beginning of a journey into the psychological, spiritual and moral realm. The pressures of making intellectual and moral decisions, coupled with a heightened emotional disposition, cause them to despair. The visual medium depicting values alien to our culture has caused confusion and conflict leading to anger and depression.
And when they do try to reach out for value education, judgement and affirmation, adults must be available for them. This is the time to foster the right attitude and personality in them. Life is about living. Living is about experiencing. Experiencing should be about growing... growing intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. In helping children understand and integrate all the three, we will succeed in providing them a healthy and happy life.
In the forthcoming months we will explore some of the issues discussed.
The author can be contacted at radhikasoundar1930@yahoo.com
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