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Chums fill in for siblings
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Unanimity eludes the debate on ‘the only child being a lonely child’
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Photo: K.R. Deepak
Time for masti Friends more than just make up for absence of a sibling at home
Twenty four-year-old Karthik is exasperated. “My mother keeps asking me what I would like to have for dinner though she is well aware of my likes and dislikes. When I am out of town, she makes innumerable calls to enquire if I have eaten or not
. It is irritating at times, but I guess she does it out of great concern for her only child.” The only child of his doting parents, Karthik is facing the peculiar dilemma of attention overkill.
It is quite obvious for all the love and care of parents to converge to one epicentre in the case of a single child. While parents of two or more children often complain about incessant noise due to sibling tiffs, an uneasy calm prevails in households with a single child who usually tries to find a company on the Net or stays glued to some book. Being the only child in a family can be a thing to feel glad or sad, depending on one’s circumstances and the upbringing.
Banking on friends
Unanimity eludes the query if a single child is lonely. “Though I do not have a sibling, the many dear friends I have more than just make up for it. I have never felt the need to have someone to talk to at home as I have plenty of them outside,’ says Ruchika, a sprightly 16-year-old.
Young Shruti feels jealous when she sees her friends enjoying with their brothers and sisters. “Though my mom is like a friend, I wish I had a brother to fight with. Sometimes I feel I am missing out on something in life,” she says with a tinge of gloom in her eyes.
But many feel that the only child in the family is not lonely in any way and does not show any extreme tendencies as long as he or she has adequate exposure to peer interaction, right environment and proper upbringing.
Keeping Manoj busy is quite a task for his father Raja Raman, who is ever engaged in discovering innovative ways of entertaining him. “We encourage him to participate in every activity in school and make new friends, as that can help to a great extent, in making up for the absence of a sibling,” he says.
One not a sorrow
Among popular icebreakers in any introductory small talk is, ‘So, do you have a brother and sister?’ and eyebrows rise when the answer is, ‘none, it’s just me! If two is a company, one need not be a sorrow.
There is a gain in being the only child. Most of them become self-reliant at an early age and learn to deal with life and other issues on their own since they don’t have a role model or a guide to follow. It, however, largely depends on the parents how they groom the child. A line must be drawn for the degree of pampering a child. Like many of his close friends, Kiran always wanted to study abroad. But being an only child has turned out to be a bane for him. The boy had to give his long-cherished dream a quiet burial, as his parents can’t let their only child off their sight.
Loved or spoilt, independent or pampered, the only child in a family is bound to confront experiences that children with siblings are spared of.
HARJEET KAUR ALLAGH
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