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Make time for yourself

Placing your own needs last can be detrimental in many ways

Sadhana is stretched to the limit. She cheerfully takes care of the family, undertakes social work with a group of her friends, and consistently helps the children with their schoolwork. But there are days when she feels that she has placed herself last in the scheme of things. She has no time for herself. Like most Indian women, Sadhana is conditioned, culturally and emotionally to take care of others and place her own needs last. Unfortunately, this can be detrimental in many ways. Everybody needs time for themselves, when they do nothing but think of their own needs. The human psyche needs to be nurtured and indulged for it to remain healthy and strong. Many of life's vicissitudes can be handled better when our inner centre is calm and unruffled. Take time for yourself. Setting aside just 15 minutes a day can help rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit. It has to be seen as a fundamental part of existence, as essential as a healthy diet and regular exercise. These 15 minutes can be used in many ways as long as they are used to focus only on your own needs. You can focus on your inner self and practise deep breathing to calm the mind. You can use this time to put the day's events into perspective. Some people use these moments for prayer and meditation. If that's not your style, maybe you can do yoga and stretch your body. You will find that this relaxes your mind, at the same time keeping your body and mind in balance. Simply curling up on the sofa with a good book can be all the relaxation you need. Turning on some good music and playing Solitaire on the computer can be all the mindlessness you need to get rid of the daily stresses. Whatever you choose, remember this is your time so take advantage of it. Most importantly, do not feel guilty about it!

`I don't have any time'

Finding time for yourself in this challenging world may seem impossible. Initially, you may feel selfish and guilty when you try to set time aside for yourself, but do it anyway. In the long run, it is better for everyone involved if you feel better, and it will relieve your daily stress and increase your quality of life. You will enjoy your family even more when you are not feeling hassled and anxious, and they will enjoy your better mood. Obviously you will need to schedule it at a time which does not clash with the usual hectic times in a family's routine.

Do it for better health

Making time to pay attention to your mind and body can help to prevent minor illnesses and improve your health, longevity, and happiness. Since exercise is important for healthy living, try incorporating physical activity into your personal time. Gardening, for example, builds upper body strength, helps increase bone density and can be very soothing and rewarding. There is no joy to compare with the pleasure of watching green plants flourish under your loving care. In 24 hours, it may seem impossible to find 15 minutes for yourself but when you realise that this time may be life-altering, you will learn to appreciate and treasure it.

GITA ARJUN

(The author is a Chennai-based obstetrician and gynaecologist interested in women's health issues)

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