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Back to basics
TIRESOME TRIANGLE: The sizzle fizzles out.
Andaaz (HINDI)
Cast: Akshay Kumar, Lara Dutta, Priyanka Chopra
Dir: Raj Kunwar
Mus: Nadeem-Shravan
THIS SUMMER keep your morality at home. If you do venture out to watch Andaaz this season, it might just result in blisters. But if you don't mind the heat, prepare to melt in front of the silver screen, as in this beauty sweepstakes Miss Universe Lara Dutta and Miss World Priyanka Chopra put the best body forward.
We have Lara as a fun-loving, college-going theatre actress next-door. In between saying her lines - and she manages to say them all without troubling her emotions too much - she takes time out to cavort under a waterfall, pout her lips, heave her bosom, wiggle her hips. And when she is done with water, she takes to rocks and sand. If she is singed, it does not show. If you are, you have only yourself to blame. But honestly it is not often that she arouses emotions that make a young boy come of age, and senior citizens stay young forever.
We also have Priyanka as the Indian girl in Europe who meets Akshay Kumar the sandwiched lover in a dance club. She does all that Lara does, adds a G-string sequence, pads it up with a lip-lock and announces that here is a girl ready to take on the boldest in the disrobing department and emerge the winner! She gets under the skin of her character, if you know what it means in Bollywood! If Lara's is relatively a simple girl oblivious of the not-so-innocent charms of youth, Priyanka's is the one who uses her mind and body to get the guy she loves. But if this is what beauty has to do to make men shed the tag of being gentle, it is not really worth it.
Between them we find Akshay Kumar, who manages to wear more clothes alone than the beauties put together. He also wears a consistently vapid expression, all uniquely his own. As a tongue-tied lover, he does not scream for attention. As the guy unwilling to touch another girl after his beloved is married off to another man, he does not know where his feet, hands and a lot else take him. Maybe, only Priyanka does!
Between them, the three lovebirds sing along in the desert, by the beach, at the club, on the hills. The poses and locales might be different; their attire remains distinctly similar. Whether the temperature is minus something or touches 50 degree Celsius, you know what they will be wearing, doing... ! Incidentally, there is a song sequence towards the end which sums up the film nicely: Rabba Ishq Na Hove... . Yes, clearly, love isn't happening. Not here.
All said and seen - and director Raj Kunwar makes sure there is a lot to see - this nth love triangle is nothing but a prolonged libidinal fare. Unfortunately, it does not come with even the usual ration of Hindi film suspense and climaxes halfway through. If Andaaz is art, it is debased, if it is craft, it is crude. Simply put, it is a tasteless sin. Coming as it does after Farz in 2001 and Ab Ka Baras last year, Kunwar's style is shorn of sparkle and substance. Fall for the charms of the beauties at your own risk.
ZIYA US SALAM
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