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Home away from home
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"While some countries celebrate the Elders' Day in a great way, in India we are opening more and more old age homes", lamented many caretakers.
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Inmates of the Rajaji Home for the Aged in a leisurely huddle.
THE BARD billed the old age as "second childishness". At this stage in life all long for care and affection. But how many are fortunate to get them is a moot point.
The joint family system, which once was a hallmark of the Indian tradition, is breaking up now with elderly parents being neglected by their wards and finally landing in old age homes. The result is an increasing number of old age homes in many cities across the country.
The situation is no different in Madurai, which has got approximately 35 homes, both `paid' and `free'.
But how do the inmates feel staying at these homes?
"I came here on my own due to poverty and my sons could not support me", says Vasudevan who is an inmate of the Rajaji Home for the Aged for the past eight years.
"I get total mental peace here and engage myself in different kinds of vocation", he says, adding, "my colleagues are friendly and I don't want to return home".
M.R.Ramachandran, who was working as an air-raid precaution warden during the World War II, and a member of the Rajaji Home for the past 15 years says, "my sons were not cooperative and did not heed my advices which I give them for their good. So I came here and prefer to continue here till my death".
"We are completely engaged here and leading a peaceful life. In our leisure we watch television or read magazines and we get all facilities here", says Ramachandran.
Jacob (77), who involves himself mainly in gardening, has got only one complaint — water problem. "This has affected the plants here and I am worried as I treat them as my kids or friends. Personally speaking, I am very much happy here".
"There is a good understanding between each of us here and this is my family now", he adds.
Though most of them do not like to return to their children, a longing for return was visible in their eyes.
The Rajaji Home for the Aged, started in 1956, has around 60 members. It is a part of the guild of service. There are a warden and a cook to take care of the home. The elders themselves do the daily activities of the home. One notable feature of this home is that it is maintained spic and span.
Regarding the food menu, the inmates are strictly advised not to take sweets for health reasons.
The procedure for admission in most of the homes is that they should be above 60 years.
The Inba Illam takes only those who have totally no body to take care of them. The Rajaji Home admits only those who are the poorest of the poor.
"Chronic patients, who could not even move, are referred to the homes with hospital facilities and some cases after treatment are sent to our home itself" says Christopher, project officer of the Inba Illam.
While the Rajaji Home has a three-member committee to process the applications, at Inba Illam it is scrutinised by the project officer and at Valanar home it is okayed by the president.
Both the Rajaji Home and the Inba Illam run completely on donations. The Valanar Home runs from the fee paid by the inmates and from contributions from members of the Samuga Narpani Manram.
Homes, which run on `free' basis, get bulk ration from the Government for their food needs.
As far as the land is concerned, Ramachandran, secretary of the Rajaji Home, says, "it was allotted by the Government and the building was constructed with financial assistance from the HelpAge India". There are three blocks — a working room, a kitchen and a sheltering place.
In most of the homes, the inmates spend their free time, in making paper covers and get some money out of it by selling them to local shops.
"The revenue generated through the sale of paper bags is given to the elders for their expenses. This gives them a feeling of self-reliance", says Mr. Christopher.
Regarding rejection, the common view of most of the caretakers of various homes is that it is mostly because of sons-in-law or daughters-in-law and at times the ego of the elders.
"As far as children are concerned, they neglect their fathers much and there is no difference between daughters or sons in this regard", Karunaidasan says, adding, "the reason for retaining mothers is that she is of great help in their household works.
"In today's world, both wives and husbands go for work and because of this trend, they are unable to look after their parents, which could also be one of the reasons for parents being neglected".
But, Mr. Christopher does not agree with this view, saying, "only mothers are rejected more, due to an ego clash among the women and fathers are helpful in outside work and hence they are not sent out".
One common view expressed by these home-runners is that the wards don't realise that they too will have to reach such a stage in their lifetime and face similar treatment at the hands of their children.
Regarding the approach of the society towards these people, the caretakers say, "it is extremely good. Students from some of the colleges and schools in and around the city visit the homes at regular intervals and spend time with the elders".
The free homes get everything in charity — clothes, fans, cots, cupboards, etc. Everyday, some NGO offers to provide meals and on festival days, some noble-hearted souls render the same gesture.
"The irony is that some family members take clothes from the members here due to their poverty", points out Mr. Ramachandran.
"Almost all elders, after coming to the homes, adapt themselves to the home atmosphere as they get a good company", say the caretakers.
Most of the homes organise regular medical check-up and in case of emergency they refer patients to the Government Hospital.
"In our home, the last rites are performed as per their desire, which they put forth in the application form at the time of admission", says Mr Christopher. At the Rajaji Home all are cremated. But all these homes definitely inform the wards of death and call them to perform the last rites. "This is done mainly to avoid problems in future from their wards", say those in charge of the homes.
The Inba Illam, situated on the GST road at Pasumalai, has 50 inmates.Started as a rehabilitation centre for beggars, under the beggars eradication programme in 1967, the centre was converted into an old-age home after a survey, which said that there is a greater need for homes to take care of the aged, particularly aged beggars. The home is being run jointly by the Madurai diocese of the CSI and the Tamil Nadu Theological Society. It gets financial assistance from the HelpAge India, Rs 400 per member for a month. Apart from this, donations from general public, ranging from Rs.5 to Rs.500, are also received every month. The land housing the Inba Illam was also donated by the diocese.
"We have applied for 80-G and 12-A. We also get food sponsorships from various NGOs like Rotary Club and Lions Club, which works out approximately 10 days in a month", says Mr. Christopher.
Seven staff are working in the Inba Illam. Two are permanent staff — a project officer and a cook — the rest part-time workers.
There is also a nine-member committee to govern the Inba Illam.
As far as the Valanar Home is concerned, it is run by the Samuga Narpani Mandram. It is situated on A.A.Road, Gnanaolipuram, Arasaradi. It has 10 rooms, each having two beds and can accommodate 20 members. A monthly fee of Rs.1200 is charged, besides a refundable deposit of Rs.5000. There are three cooks and two watchmen to help the elders. On pension days, the elders are accompanied by a staff of the home to the bank and brought back.
"The members of the Mandram contributed their mite and through donations from several noble-hearted souls we constructed the present building at a cost of Rs.10 lakhs and formally opened in June 1999", says Mr. Karunaidasan.
As for the entertainment, every home has a TV and magazines, dailies, etc, are also provided.
Cultural activities are also conducted in many homes. At the Inba Illam, children belonging to the Vidiyal organisation come here once a month and give performances. The elders also reciprocate in the same way. Similarly, once in a year a cultural programme — Senior Citizens' Mela — in association with the YMCA, mostly on October 1 (World Elders' Day), is being organised. Members of other homes also come here and they are allowed to do anything on the stage. "Now we are trying to spread our service outside our home. Three programmes are being conducted in this regard. We also go and give speeches in schools and create an awareness among students of the bad practice of sending their parents to old age homes. We also motivate them to adopt one elder and help them in their daily work. In the same way, the elders will have to monitor the child's education performance", says Mr. Christopher.
"If I take people with wards, it may prove that I am also indirectly patronising the negligent attitude among the children", opines Mr. Christopher.
Regarding religious activities, there are no restrictions in any of the homes. But many express that they pray for so many good things like success of the LTTE-Lanka negotiations and now for the prevention of the US-Iraq war, etc. "We also pray regularly for world peace", say some of the elders. "The only point where I failed is that I am unable to wipe out the caste feelings riding high in the minds of some members", regrets Mr. Christopher.
""While some countries celebrate the Elders' Day in a great way, in India we are opening more and more old-age homes", lamented many caretakers.
M.R.ARAVINDAN
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