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Make your own choices to be assertive
What is that one quality, which makes a person stand out from the crowd, makes people sit up and take notice? Employers specifically do not look for this quality in your resume nor do interviewers try to assess it during interviews. The quality we are talking about is assertiveness.
But why you may wonder is this quality so important? Come to think of it if you are not assertive enough, the boss may dump all the extra work on you, colleagues ask you to do their work, which will only increase your workload. Others know very well that you can never refuse their requests. Subordinates may not adhere to your orders. Lack of assertiveness can lead to others taking you for granted and you may hesitate to speak in the fear of hurting others. Assertiveness calls for courage to stand up for yourself. Here are some tips to help you deal with people at your workplace especially when you have to give orders, make a request or make a point.
Being assertive means being able to say ‘no’ and put your foot down and expressing what you really want. In order to be assertive, let go of the assumption that you will always have to please others so that you do not hurt them by refusing to comply with their wishes. Besides this do not make unnecessary apologies or excuses, which are unwarranted. This only displays your inferiority complex and your lack of self-respect. People can manipulate and talk you easily into doing their work or adhering to their requests. This will not only increase your workload but also keep jabbing at your self-esteem, which can lead to frustration, unhappiness and affect your relationship with others. These suppressed feelings can in turn explode one fine day and lead to disastrous consequences.
• Build self-confidence and have faith in your judgment. Your belief in yourself helps you make the right choices.
• If you differ over issues with others, say it.
• Make your own choices; do not allow others to decide things for you. Expressing your desires helps you be in control.
• Be direct and clear in expressing what you want.
• Learn to say ‘no’ to unreasonable requests.
• When giving orders to subordinates, use ‘I’ in your messages to convey what you want and also the fact that you mean business.
• Maintain eye contact and a posture and air of authority.
• Be clear and direct in your speech so that you convey the fact that you know what you want.
These things will indicate your assertiveness and nobody can take you for granted. Also your interpersonal relations will improve and you will be on a better footing to interact with others.Assertiveness does not mean shouting, threatening others or trying to dominate them in order to get your way. In fact, such behaviour can be interpreted as aggressiveness. So to be truly assertive you will have to be subtle in expressing what you want. While being honest, be diplomatic.
Be courteous and flexible even if you have to disagree with others. When giving orders do it with a smile, and do not forget to thank your subordinates for their contribution. When you need to refuse others’ requests, be polite but firm when doing so. Being assertive is very important for your self-esteem and for others to respect you. This quality is important for maintaining the right balance in interpersonal relations at work.
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