There is life beyond self-pity!
EXTREME emotions can be injurious to health. Like accident-prone people, there are people who are prone to an emotional limbo. Though we may not like it, emotions do rule our lives. Both- being excessively emotional or having a marked lack of them are not good. Likewise too much self-pity can be ruinous to our health, personal and professional life.
Read the signs well
Self-love is a good thing. It is even healing, if it translates into positive and productive action. An excess of it can however border on narcissism. This distorts the tone of any criticism, lending it a decidedly negative tone. It could trigger resentment, anger, self-pity, and even a self-deprecating attitude. So how do you know when you are beginning to go overboard? Irritation at the mere hint of criticism, a desire to sulk and withdraw rather than react constructively to criticism, are symptoms of an impending gloom time.
Better still, nip it in the bud!
Once you are aware of the downtrend you are beginning to fall into, watch how you react to criticism. Criticism is not always unwarranted. There always is something that triggered it. Get rid of the I, me, myself, fascination. The ability to look inward is indeed a rare ability, but limit it to self- appraisal, and use the insights to better yourself. When you begin to feel sad at the slightest pretext, it's time you did some serious introspection.
When things go wrong...
They can go seriously wrong! Moments of happiness can often be interspersed with disappointments and heartache. Consider the instance of Sangeeta, a content writer with a dotcom company. It was a almost picture perfect life till a minor accident turned her life upside down. She nearly lost the use of her hand. The subsequent surgery and the interim period of convalescence was a revelation. Despite testing times, her courage was inspirational. She retained her lively sense of humour and availed every opportunity to get back on her feet. Very soon, she was back at the office, getting into the grind of regular work. It was an inspiring experience for everyone at the workplace as well. She never let the shadow of self-pity or depression get the better of her. These are positive expressions of life. Whenever tragedy or trauma strikes, it's a call to bring forth your inner reserves of strength to tackle the problem head on. Self-pity can only delay the process further and land you instead in a deeper quagmire than before.
Self-image does matter
A poor self-image can contribute to further self-pity. Before you realise, it assumes the nature of a package deal! Low self-esteem and poor self-image can trick you into operating with negative emotions in all that you do. Even remotely unrelated events that have gone awry can make you aware of your shortcomings. It's an easy guilt trip then, set to make you feel like the only failure in the world. When you are consciously aware of your limitations, then it's easier to make a head start on things that you do like doing, despite inherent barriers. Face the problematic issues squarely and analyse how you could use them positively.
If you still want to be a masochist...
You will wallow in greater sadness, nit-pick everything that goes wrong and drown yourself in sorrow. Its easy to feel victimised, seeking as much attention as possible. Only, the novelty of the whole thing will soon begin to wear off everyone. You will end up with nothing but self-pity for a friend. So be proactive, consider self-pity an indication that you need a break, be kind on yourself and take up things that boost your motivation.
So the next time round whenever you feel sorry for yourself, go ahead and do it. Just remember though, that it's a fine way to do yourself in, better than even your worst enemy can!
SAMYUKTA KODA
samyukta.hyd@cnkonline.com
Printer friendly
page
Send this article to Friends by
E-Mail
Opportunities
