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All about "Garv" ... Shilpa Shetty with Salman Khan.

AS TEMPTING it might be to highlight all that's bad about "Garv," we will dedicate this review to the spirit of Bollywood (after all 95 per cent of all Hindi cinema is like "Garv" or worse) and list only what is good about Salman's latest venture!

Ten things about "Garv" - Pride and Honour' which will make Salman's mostly-shirtless chest swell in pride: 1. Easy-to-remember storyline: Salman is Arjun Ranawat, a good cop with beautiful sister Raakhee Trivedi (Akanksha Malhotra) and adopted widow mother (Farida Jalal). He takes on gangsters and corrupt politicians and loses his best friend Haider Ali (Arbaaz Khan) in the process. This goads him into taking the law into his own hands. 2. Innovative Mahabharath touch to a cop-versus-bad guys saga. Full credit to `Duryodhan' Punit Isarr for that. There's Sanskrit slokas, conch shell background score, `shuddh' Hindi, flaring nostrils, `maa'-melodrama, sword-fight, sledge-hammer replacing the mace as a weapon and Arjun for a hero's name. Also there is an attempt at `vastra-haran.' 3. Very creative names. In any case, people with names like Hakeem Lukha, Zafar Supari, Pappu Kalia and Yeda ought to be shot. And, they are. This scene is in the trailer of `Garv,' catch it on TV. All of Shilpa Shetty's scenes have appeared on TV. She's only in the songs by Sajid-Wajid.

4. Friendly neighbourhood explosives used. It is an eco-friendly 500 tonnes of RDX that is used in "Garv." Let alone a crater, the explosives imported from Dubai do not even destroy the cartons holding it.

5. Originality of ideas. This movie has some never-ever-seen-before scenes. Like when henchmen Yeda is asked: `Goli kaisey logey? Whisky ke saath, soda ke saath, paani ke saath ya direct?' (How would you like to take the bullet? With whisky, soda, water or direct?) As Arbaaz shoves the three glasses filled with bullet into the baddie's mouth, Yeda bites the bullet! 6. Privacy. There were exactly 38 people in the balcony on Monday's matinee show. Most of these were young couples who had the most romantic date. As a bonus, there were trailers of "Dhoom," "Julie" and "Mujhse Shaadi Karoogi" for some serious entertainment.

7. Salman's social message issued in public interest or sense of humour (sic). As he stays on to sip yet another drink at the nightclub, brother Arbaaz tells him, "Zyaada peena mat. Gaadi tujhe chalani hai" (Don't drink. You have to drive). And, Salman smiles meaningfully. Either it was a genuine social service message or maybe to promote "Dhoom" and it's tag-line: "Stay off the road."

8. Well ... er... couldn't find two MORE good things. Sorry.


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