Ameen Shareeff is a stocky bearded man with masculine looks. “But I have a tender heart,” he says. “To be a man doesn't mean that he is made of steel. Mard ko bhi dard hota hai .” Shareeff is a victim of domestic violence, his four-year-old wedlock is crumbling and he's on a biking mission, meeting men to make them speak out the torture they undergo at the hands of their wives at home. “It's a topic that no one talks about, because it's such a taboo for a man to say that his wife is afflicting violence on him. His masculinity is questioned and he's told not to cry or crib being a man.” “Whenever I spoke about my problems, my friends would tease me saying ' ladki ki tarah ro mat '. Only women can cry?,” he asks.
Shareeff who lost his parents at a young age encountered trouble within just three months into marriage with a divorcee. “Biking was my passion but my wife forced me to sell my 1985 Royal Enfield bullet. She took custody of all my debit cards and even my pin number. She would insist on taking my salary and I could not even question her on the expenses,” he shares. “Soon, I was tortured to earn more, buy properties in her name. My phone and mail was under her supervision. I was barred from talking to my relatives, siblings or friends. At a point, my sister and I were living in the same lane, just 500 metres apart, but couldn't even see or talk. I felt isolated from the world.”
My wife became crankier with each passing day, says Shareeff. “I felt abused emotionally, physically and financially. Though we had a daughter, I couldn't change my wife's attitude. At the slightest retaliation, she would threaten to file fake dowry harassment case against my entire family. 'Your siblings and parents would be behind bars' she would intimidate.”
“Anyone can be victimised in a marriage, whether a man or a woman doesn't matter. Men are also vulnerable and the fault is not always theirs,” says Shareeff. “There are at least avenues and laws for women to air their stories of domestic violence. But the same story if told by a man is ridiculed and laughed at. The society judges him harshly, making it an issue of his manhood.” That's what made Shareeff realise the need to reach out and talk to men and he embarked on a biking trip last December. “I couldn’t share this trauma with my friends and so I quit my job and chose to speak to unknown people.”
Wherever he goes, Shareeff meets people and shares his experiences and gets to hear similar stories from other men. “The dowry harassment Act has become a legal terrorism in India. Some women even use it as an easy tool for money extortion from the in-laws. I am not against any gender, but the law should be victim-based and not gender based,” says Shareeff, who has clocked over 28,000 kilometres so far, spending Rs. 1,70,000.
To know more about Shareeff and his campaign, visit his Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/SPEAKOUTMARD/
