Stay quiet. Don’t argue. Don’t ask questions. If you are a woman, and Indian, it is likely you have heard these words when you have tried to speak up. The essence of these put-downs — and a woman’s burden to constantly ‘delete’ herself — give Deepa Narayan’s book its title, Chup – by social scientist Deepa Narayan, released on March 9. Deepa, well-known sociologist and adviser on poverty, gender and development, has 17 books to her name, but says rather endearingly that she was nervous before the release of Chup . Sitting in her South Delhi apartment, she is candid and confident as she shares her views on women, men and the fabric of society. Excerpts:
Where did the idea for Chup come from?
When Nirbhaya happened, it shook something in me. I think it shook the collective conscience of the nation. I started looking at the culture that allows men to think and do whatever they pleased with a woman — to her body, mind, thoughts or psyche. Even when the laws were made more stringent in India, it did nothing to deter crimes against women. It made me want to dig into culture to get a grasp of men’s thinking process.
How did the thought process on culture lead to this book?
When I started discussing it with other women, many of them told me they were battling shame, embarrassment, frustration, humiliation and confusion. The feeling of being singled out leads to women bottling up everything and it is this silence that is the running theme across the narratives of the women in the book. And hence, the title.
Much has already been written about harassment, assault and denial of rights to women. Was there a need for another book?
Existing literature on women’s rights from earlier generations of women, and those of our times, has been centred around the narrative of poor women because poverty was such a huge issue. Also, a lot of literature has been purely academic. Such books stay in academia and are inaccessible physically and intellectually to us — the everyday people.
How does Chup deal with these issues differently?
This book focuses on urban, educated, upper and middle-class women in Delhi and other metros across India. There is another major factor in the book. I found that a lot of the primary research I was doing for the book was backed by research on women in the U.S. While geographically we may be on either side of the globe, there are more similarities than differences between highly educated women in the two countries.
In the book you say that while we call ourselves feminists and would like to be seen that way, our ingrained habits belie the notion. Could you give an example?
Do you feel that you are ‘loud’, or have been told so? Do you silence or censor yourself? Do you find yourself pleasing family or colleagues or the world? Do you have to restrict yourself from doing what you want to in order to be likeable? Are you comfortable with your sexuality? Do you distrust other women in your life? Every woman has to ask herself these questions. If we are truthful in answering them, it will hold up a mirror that lets us see how we perpetuate the same behaviour subconsciously. The book deals with questions like these.
Do you think movements like #MeToo have changed the narrative of sexual assault and abuse?
Hugely! It is a very important opening of dialogue. The conversations have begun and are gathering momentum, thanks to the Internet. However, this is only the beginning. We have miles to go and milestones to achieve. We have started something that will bring about a positive change. It is just as important to keep up the momentum.
Who is Chup written for?
When I was writing Chup , I thought about the target audience. This book is not for women. It is for men who care for and respect the women in their life. If, as a man, you want to change your outlook, read Chup . The women’s rights movement in India needs a revolution, and there can be no successful women’s revolution without a men’s revolution.
A journalist for nearly a decade, and an environmentalist and feminist for much longer, the writer believes in being the voice of the voiceless.
