Man: I’ve done the unthinkable… And now, I need to make up with my wife.
Friend: Why don’t you gift her a 5-carat diamond, princess cut?
Man: No, I need something better — she loves technology, so…
Friend: How about a foldable car? It is eco-friendly, runs on electric charge, saves space and is very convenient to park — you can actually fold it in half...
Man: Sounds good, but...
Friend: Wait, here’s the best part… You can download an app onto your smartphone — and it magically transforms into a remote control that helps you park the car. You can also use it to spin the car a full circle, reverse it and park it into the narrowest of parking spaces available...
Man: What’s it called?
Friend: The car? It’s called Armadillo-T and is named after the Armadillo which rolls itself into its shell when enemies approach... There are also smart features — such as cameras inside the car instead of side view mirrors — to give you a clear view of the traffic around you.
Man: No mirrors? Sorry, my wife will simply refuse to drive a car in which she can’t check her make-up at traffic signals...
Friend: How about a PC then?
Man: What’s new about that? She already has a laptop, a tablet, and a...
Friend: This is a computer with common sense. It uses artificial intelligence — it can think, identify common objects and link related images on its own.
Man: How does this happen?
Friend: Through a program called NEIL — Never Ending Image Learner. NEIL operates through certain principles of advanced computing, does not require human intervention and is currently busy researching the Web. The program has raced through over three million images, recognising shapes, colours, scenes and objects, and recording its observations.
Man: I’ve already had problems with a Neil and I’m not sure if I should...
Friend: In fact, NEIL will soon be checking out YouTube videos and will absorb several image references from them. Just imagine, you won’t have to programme your PC to do anything — it can think on its own and decipher how to do things...
Man: No way. I can’t have a device at home that can do something that I can’t.
Friend: Ok, she won’t be able to resist this — a cuddly robot phone that can give her a hug...
Man: I just read an article about mobile phones becoming larger in size — now, you’re talking about one that’s a six-footer and hugs people?
Friend: No, this one is shaped like a stuffed pillow and is more like a soft toy — it’s called Hugvie...
Man: But why should we have a phone hugging us? It’s already warming a side of our face...
Friend: Hugvie has a pocket into which you can slip your mobile phone. There are microcontrollers and vibrators located inside the robot that can simulate human heartbeats based on the tone of voice of the caller. So, when you’re talking to someone, you get a more personalised feeling — the feeling of having someone hug you even as you feel their heartbeat against you...
Man: Can you imagine the situation when I get back home and find my wife talking to a robot, feeling its heartbeat and hugging it? One of us will certainly need to see a shrink...
Friend: But what’s the occasion? Did you miss wishing your wife on your wedding anniversary?
Man: Of course not! I wished her first thing in the morning, sent her flowers from my office, took her out to a candle light dinner the previous night, bought her a diamond ring and a little puppy...
Friend: Wow, so what’s the problem?
Man: You see, I didn’t wish her on Facebook. She has 937 friends and now, she is dreading to log in because she wonders how they’ll react to this catastrophe. Apparently they’ll think that our marriage is coming apart and that I don’t love her enough...
sureshl.india@gmail.com
