Whether you download a suite or file a suit, technology is always a boon, says a tech fan.
BC: Hey, what's up?
AD: Did you hear about the 83-year-old woman who walked into an Apple store — without seeing the glass door in front of her? She broke her nose.
BC: It's understandable that Apple fans hate windows, but ignoring doors as well can be hazardous, right?
AD: Absolutely! However, the old lady is now suing Apple for a million dollars for not having displayed appropriate warning signs in the store.
BC: What did she expect — ‘Open door before entering'? Or perhaps ‘Don't try to walk through door unless your last name is Houdini'?
AD: There have been crazier cases filed against tech companies.
BC: I always thought technology made people slightly crazy.
AD: It's the IPO syndrome.
BC: You mean, invest in their Initial Public Offering?
AD: No, invest in the ‘Intercept Profits Officially' scheme — in other words, wait for the company to make money and then file absurd cases so you can rip them off for a few millions.
BC: Didn't I tell you that the human mind is smarter than technology?
AD: But smart enough to hide transmitters in your iPod?
BC: What do you mean?
AD: A man named Gregory McKenna filed a case against Apple that it aided the mafia in transmitting their threats through transmitters that the company had apparently fixed in his iPods.
BC: How bizarre.
AD: Bizarre is a word that has to be reserved for another case that a prisoner named Jonathan Lee Riches filed against Apple, Steve Jobs and an employee of the prison — for having attempted to sexually assault him with an iPhone.
BC: People seem to be dreaming up new ways of becoming rich.
AD: You're pretty close to the truth. Riches finally accepted that the sexual assaults seemed to have taken place in his dreams and dropped the case.
BC: Looks like Apple can keep doctors away, but not lawyers.
AD: They make big billions — and that's what makes Apple the forbidden fruit that's tempting mankind.
BC: I agree with you, technology does show the way to a prosperous future.
AD: However, technology may not always show you the right way.
BC: Why do you say that?
AD: A woman, who used Google maps to find her way, mistook the directions, continued into a busy highway and got hit by a speeding car.
BC: And she has sued Google?
AD: Yes, for $100,000, because she was given directions that were unsafe.
BC: Sounds like people won't stop until they get the whole company.
AD: And in some cases, they'll want the chairman of the company.
AD: An Israeli entrepreneur named Rotem Guez changed his name to Mark Zuckerberg and legally registered it.
BC: I don't believe this.
AD: He then sued Facebook because they had blocked his profile.
BC: So there are two Zuckerbergs now?
AD: Apparently, there are quite a few out there... Facebook then sued the fake Zuckerberg for violating their policies through his business activities.
BC: Facebook sued Mark Zuckerberg?
AD: That was one of the reasons why he changed his name — to see if they would sue ‘him'.
BC: If they ever make a sequel to ‘The Social Network', they can call it the Face-to-face book.
AD: One can imagine the press having a field day with Mark Zuckerberg suing Mark Zuckerberg.
BC: Who would have thought the Like button would take on a whole new meaning? Instead of having people ‘like' their founder, Facebook now has to contend with another like him.