The IPL madness is well behind us, so you might wonder why I choose to rant now. But think of it in the nature of a late-cut — that supremely elegant stroke Gundappa Viswanath used to indulge in and to which magic my father introduced me.
But what I am cribbing about is not elegant; in fact it’s as far from elegant as a Tollywood dance sequence is from Bolshoi ballet.
It is, in short, that supremely idiotic and insulting addition to cricket called cheerleading. I got over cricket roughly the same time I got over Santa Claus, so I don’t really watch the game these days, but when I last did, a few weeks ago, I found myself shuddering each time the ball was hit for a boundary because out they would gambol, these cheerleaders, and mindlessly jump up and down before settling down again. Worse, much worse, the channel or the sponsor or someone was celebrating an anniversary, so every now and then the cheerleaders would anyway erupt on the TV screen in a demented bhangra routine. Even in the middle of Q&A sessions, I kid you not.
I was sitting with this bunch of madcaps who get together every time there’s a big match on so they can hurl drunken curses at the screen. I tentatively mentioned that the cheerleading was getting on my nerves, to which one of the alpha males (when not watching cricket these are otherwise nice blokes) instantly made up a long response about spectators and bang-for-the-buck, mean value integral theorem and ticket sales, topped by turbine-driven forced induction devices.
When I deciphered the babble, it turned out it was about men liking to see women jumping up and down in ridiculous costumes while waving pom-poms and grinning manically. So tell me something new. Chances are men are going to call me a spoil sport for writing this, but let’s look beyond booty and at some issues, shall we?
First, the mind-boggling degree of casual racism that makes 99% of the cheerleaders white women. Then, the spectator response to the women, with some of the nasties out there pelting the dancers with bottles and oranges, rude remarks, catcalls and kissy faces. Then, the idea of spectators ogling a bunch of performing women inside a fenced arena — are they creatures in a zoo? If cheerleading is indeed this sporting, fun thing to keep flagging crowd spirits high, why do all the dancers have to be women? No, one man in a pirate costume this year is not a response to that.
Finally, why is one of the tasks of a cheerleader to make “appearances at parties and events”? Are cricket players, organisers and fans so desperate for glamour and for company that they need paid party guests?
Making the costumes ‘modest’ is not a response either. It’s not about revealing skin — it’s about the vulgarity and offensiveness of needing dancing women to keep your spirits high during a game. If you can’t sit through a match’s boring bits, go home. Or find another game. And if you need a crazy boogie routine to tell you when someone’s scored a four or a six, you shouldn’t be watching cricket anyway.
We can pretend that cheerleading is all about the dance and the athleticism and the hard work, but let’s not kid ourselves that’s what it is for the crowd. One foreign cheerleader has spoken of how she felt she was treated not as a dancer but as a sex object. They have complained of rude spectators and crude comments. You could argue that all of this comes with the territory — that it’s the occupational hazard for which the women are paid. The point is, why have this job category at all — why do we keep encouraging female objectification and try to mask it as female empowerment?
The test match format got boring, so they invented limited overs to get the crowds back. When that started to wane, they got in the leagues. So far, so cricket. But if you need dancing women to fill the stands during a match, why don’t you just eliminate the game altogether and organise a cabaret?At least there won’t be any pretence.
Where the writer tries to make sense of society with seven hundred words and a bit of snark
