There are different types of visitors one encounters in a patient’s room in a hospital setting.
The fearful one: This type enters the room with a look of despair on his/her face and stays a few feet away from the patient and offers a big namaste to all present so he can avoid handshakes. He has a constant fear of contracting infections.
The optimist: This guy enters the room with a smile. He reels out statistics of success rates of operations and compliments the patient for getting admitted to the particular hospital. He observes the patient from head to toe and gives a thums-up sign.
The pessimist: As soon as he enters the room he raises his arms upward as if destiny has been cruel to the patient. He even blurts out, “Such illness has a very narrow scope of getting cured”, and indicates casually that one of his cousins died the day before of a similar illness.
The know-all: This type thinks he holds all the keys to the patient’s sickness. He does not trust what has been diagnosed. He questions each move you make and researches the patient’s chart, and will pester the hospital staff about signs, symptoms, and treatments.
The one who never leaves: This one never leaves. Like super-glue, he adheres to the patient’s room, becoming an immovable fixture, no matter how many shifts go by. Like a magnet, this visitor is drawn to the patient, and is always there at the start of visiting hours. He offers no comments and he is just there with only an occasional enquiry about any snacks.
The cyber guy: He is rarely around, preferring to operate digitally than make a personal appearance. He is always plugged in and is reachable through phone, email, text; but being physically present at the hospital is an impossible feat. Whether it’s calling up the nurses’ station to see if the patient is out of surgery, or emailing the attending physician about the latest treatment plan. He sends flowers, balloons, and baked goods to the patient, but will never give the gift that matters most – personal time.
The groupies: They are the patient’s personal fan base, always there for emotional support and positivity. Their dedication surpasses all bounds as they just hang around catering to the patient’s every whim. They support the hospital staff and do anything to help.
The hypochondriac: The hypochondriac’s agenda is purely selfish. His real goal is to float his medical theories to the first doctor he comes across. Don’t be surprised if you get a lot of hypothetical questions from this visitor, who may ask you about various aches and pains, mysterious illnesses, exotic diseases, and “theoretical” medical situations.
The hypochondriac uses this opportunity to get his own medical diagnosis, and use hospital facilities to his advantage. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself caring for two: the sick patient and the hypochondriac.
The technical guy: This guy is more interested in the workings of the medical equipment inside the patient’s room. He simply touches each instrument and offers his own theory about their use, and quotes the names of various company brands.
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