Driving on the insane roads of Bengaluru, I was panic-stricken for a moment when a truck driver flashed the headlights of the vehicle and drove almost into me. I cursed him under my breath and did the usual gestures that I was now familiar with being used in the traffic of the city.
The discussion in the car from the other passengers tended to suggest that I should be more understanding and accommodating. “You see,” said one, “the poor man was only practising his Right to Violation of Traffic Rules as deemed by the Preamble.” It is an unwritten rule, he said. “Could you please elaborate on this,” I asked.
Thus he began:
Rule 1.
The Right to the use of ‘flash light’. One has the right to be on the wrong side of the road and flash the headlamps to make it right.
One needs to give the ‘flasher’ space to move on as he used the ‘flash light’ first.
And it is your bounden duty to be alert, not panic and avoid any head on collision.
Rule 2.
The slower moving heavy vehicles should always be on the right extreme lane. Even if all over the world the rule is otherwise, here it is an unwritten rule that the heavy laden trucks and lorries will ply on the so called fast track. This again means that you can (should) overtake the vehicle from the wrong side!
Rule 3.
There is never a need to change lanes in an orderly manner. In fact the rule is to ensure that you are half in both the adjacent lanes and do not change even when honked at. If there is a clash then one can claim that the other vehicle forced itself onto the lane in spite of enough space to squeeze by.
Rule 4.
While driving, especially on the highway, ensure that you turn on the right indicator to let the vehicle trying to overtake you get past you. From where this idea originated fascinates me!
It does not matter that one may mistake that the vehicle ahead may be turning or moving to the right. (Using the left indicator at least would indicate that he will stay on the left, I thought).
Rule 5.
All two wheelers should overtake vehicles from the left hand side. They should ensure that there is only a gap of about six inches while overtaking and send a chill down the spine of the driver they are overtaking from the left.
One of the untold benefits is that this will also ensure that the two-wheel rider is not sprayed with the thick black smoke from the heavy vehicles that will help tan the clothes he or she is wearing.
Rule 6.
Once it begins to rain, please use the hazard indicator, turn it on and then you may turn left or right and have the right to confuse the vehicle behind as to which direction you intend to move.
Rule 7.
Never ever stop at a zebra crossing, especially one which has a traffic signal specifically for the pedestrians to cross. (You see we are adept at crossing anywhere; we Indians do not consider the zebra crossing as the sole patch to get to the other side).
Ensure that once you see the amber you zip past and well, you need to be faster when the red light is on.
You as a driver of a vehicle with wheels have more right than one who has only two feet moving on the same tarmac!
Rule 8.
Always honk once the red turns to amber at the signal.
You need to honk more if you are right behind the queue and ensure that the person first in line hears you and move; for all you know most of the time those in the front are colour blind!
Two wheelers have the liberty to use the pavements where there are to climb and ride upon and reach the front of the queue.
Rule 9.
If one is not entering any ‘main road’ and is driving within the residential area the rider need not wear a helmet. It is permissible to ride — however busy the small lanes are — without a helmet. The helmet is worn to avoid fines and minor punishments and definitely not to protect the upper area of the body where the thought came from.
Rule 10.
When an accident occurs and if one is not willing to help, the person has the right to stand and be an onlooker and block all traffic behind including the ambulance that may be on the way. For you see he has to report the accident in detail, the goriness, or the pettiness of it to an avid audience at home, office, or a party.
And finally,
Rule 0 .
At a signal or railway crossing, one has the right to cross over to the other side of the road and block the oncoming traffic completely and honk away to glory while asking the other drivers to move an inch here or there and be accommodative. And this is not limited to railway crossings alone but to any jam situation.
Now the other rules that I can think of, for those who provide the roads for us mere mortals to tread and try and reach our destinations day in and day out include — never fill pot holes and leave no signs of warning or caution.
Do not paint the humps, whose shape the road contractors seem to have patented, as not two humps are the same!
Finally just before you ride up a flyover, ensure that there is a hump! This phenomenon is simply beyond my understanding, and I would more than be willing to listen to a sane answer.
nsanita6@
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