Why June 19, third Sunday in June alone? Every day deserves to be celebrated as Father's Day. Father is a special ‘icon' of the family. Fatherhood is just as essential to the healthy development of the family as motherhood. Sometimes, the influence of father's love is even greater than that of the mother.
According to Glenn T. Stanton (“Why children need father-love and mother-love,” www.twoandahandfull.com/?p=140), “fathers tickle more, they wrestle, and they throw their children in the air.”
Fathers matter simply because they “do not mother,” says Kyle Pruett of Yale Medical School in his book “Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child.”
Father is brief, direct and to the point and does not shout like mother. It is this underplay and non-interference that attract children more towards him. He has the knack of keeping extreme calm amid tough conflicts and this ‘sleeping-over-the-problem' attitude mostly results in automatic resolution of the situation.
Though the mother's role is apparent, father is the unsung hero of the house. It can never be denied that he, though not over-enthusiastic like his wife, has a wise, practical approach to problems. His silent stress on justice and his tendency to observe and enforce systematic discipline create an analytical approach in children.
While mother gets agitated over the teenage problems of children, father is more composed on this front. A single affectionate glance of his is an expressible comfort for the children. No need to measure thoughts or weigh the words. The children pour out everything, chaff and grain together.
Father knows how to keep what is worthwhile and blow away the rest. His patient listening itself yields positive results, relieves the children of their tension and makes them comfortable, leading towards self-assessment.
I know a father who lost his beloved wife at the age of 30.With the eldest child three years and new-born twins, he faced the crisis with determination, remained single and, with the only assistance received from a baby care centre, brought up the children with a high degree of discipline. How many sleepless nights would he have spent? No words can describe the mental agony he has gone through and the magnitude of sacrifice he has made for nearly 15 years to see his children develop physically, intellectually and with a blemishless character.
Hats off to such fathers!
On the other hand, fathers who by force of circumstances fall victim to vices repent at a later date. They stand out as embodiments of negative parenting and the evil effects thereof, imparting a valuable lesson to society.
Today, there is so much talk of spending quality time with children, mostly one or two in number. Those days, every home had a minimum of five children. The number would exceed 10 in a joint family set-up.
Our father who was a teacher commanded great respect in society. He seldom talked to us. We had admiration for whatever he did, the value he attached to each job, from simple washing to careful mega planning, and methodical execution with impeccable discipline. Above all, what simplicity! He never hesitated to carry a gunny-load of cattle feed on his shoulders and walk carefree down the streets. He never advised us but let us watch.
“Do your best, hope for the best, prepare for the worst”
“That which can't be cured must be endured.”
These oft-repeated sayings of our father still ring in our ears, guiding us forever.
Father catches us before we fall, pierces us with his glance when we transgress rules and is puffed up with pride when we succeed. He stands tall with his ‘silence' speaking volumes.
(The writer's email is vathsalaj@yahoo.com)
