To win someone over, what paraphernalia of tools and expertise would one need? Capitalist gurus would swear by the heady concoction of some tact, a dash of style and pots of wealth. Or would a superficial mask of saccharine ingratiation work? Or lapping up Dale Carnegie’s bestseller, How to Win Friends and Influence People cover to cover, do the trick?
My rural-bred, simple, octogenarian grandmother has the secret to it. What amazes me even more is her own sheer ignorance of the power that she so effectively wields.
She is not just another retired old lady who lives down the lane. She is a warm-hearted biji to some, a kind mataji to others, and a lovable nani to even those with whom she shares no blood bond.
She manages to strike a chord with children and elders alike. She belongs to an era when packaging and selling oneself to people was an alien concept. She only knew one way to live — with an unassuming smile, a soft tone and the ability to let people be themselves. And this, my friends, has been the golden mantra of her life.
Smiling bestOver all these years, I have come to realise that people who break into a smile when eyes meet are probably the best kind. That reflects their heart, which is necessarily both warm and unpretentious. They have the power to make a person feel at home wherever he or she goes. Not having to hide behind a facade is as much a rarity as it is a luxury. And it is only this tribe of people who urge one to drop the wearisome veil that we have unfortunately convinced ourselves to carry through the journey of life.
Another magical trick is to value the power of one’s tongue. There’s a profound proverb, “He who knows little knows enough if he knows how to hold his tongue.” This small muscular organ is capable of doing great damage if not used well. A powerful tongue, in the true sense, is one that loses its power to wound. Words can ignite fires or put off a raging soul. A person whose words are capable of inspiring, healing and comforting is a gem. I have witnessed my barely English-speaking grandmother counsel, caress and chide many a savvy woman. Such is the power of the tongue. It should only be used to build, never to break.
Build on ties that last, friendships that don’t fail and love that is never lost. Only when the heart is bitter should you refrain from using it.
Maybe, winning over people is not as arduous as we make it out to be. Maybe, the secret lies in being as effortless and natural as one can be.
Special attributeHomo sapiens are blessed with the gift of communication. This is what sets us apart from the others in the animal kingdom. We can make the world a much better place to live.
All we need is a society that isn’t too quick to judge, a few words of appreciation, and smiles that touch the soul.
Surely, this world can never get enough of such grandmothers.
seeratsandhu25@yahoo.com
