Is there in the universe such a person as an ideal husband? Or, an ideal wife, for that matter? You could count on your fingertips if such a person were to be found! We use the term dharmapatni to a wife who remains absolutely loyal to her partner in life. She would always remember the sanctity of the wedding ceremony wherein she circumambulated the agni guntam, holding the palm of her partner thrice to the accompaniment of mantras chanted by the priest. She would also recall the touching moment of her sitting on the lap of her father who gave the daughter to the bridegroom. It must have been a sentimental gifting too to the mother, standing behind. Numerous relatives and friends would shower flower petals upon the couple after the groom ties the knot, wishing them the very best forever.

All the feverish, anxious days and nights of both parties spent in search of a suitable life-partner would recede to the background, thereby bringing relief upon this festive occasion when grand feasts would be arranged for the invitees. From that day onwards the bachelor becomes a husband, the young bride gets transformed into a wife. Registration also is done to lend authenticity to the marriage solemnised by the tying of the nuptial knot.

Wedding is not just a union of two individuals but of two families. The husband might have been brought up in a family-setting not always similar to that of his wife and vice versa.

At times, both backgrounds might be similar in which case one can hope for a happy, harmonious life. Choosing to live together under the same roof for the rest of their life is a kind of symbiosis. Both partners ought to learn to adjust and accommodate as much as possible. To expect absolute identity of outlook on all matters between husband and wife is to anticipate a miracle!

Disagreements, minor or major, might creep in every now and then causing an ego-clash. In the absence of a “give-and-take” relationship, they might choose to snap ties. If only they care to give a little thought to the painstaking effort expended by their parents to unite them as life-partners, the word divorce would disappear from their dictionary of life. This is what our Hindu dharma ordains upon us.

The writer, a super senior-citizen, looks back with pride on his 56 years of married life, notwithstanding minor disagreements, always followed by rapprochement. One must learn to disagree agreeably!

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