Learning to cope with the chauffeur and his ways

June 13, 2016 11:00 pm | Updated October 18, 2016 01:43 pm IST

Illustration: Keshav

Illustration: Keshav

With more people than ever before in urban areas today driving their own cars, the pleasures of being a passenger are not enjoyed widely. Driving means giving up on looking around at the sights and stores at a leisurely pace, following various trains of thought in chats with fellow passengers, or even such pedestrian pursuits as carefully scanning a mass of boards for addresses.

All of those formerly ordinary activities are now life-threatening luxuries you can’t afford as a driver if you want to avoid getting dents on either your vehicle or yourself. Driving a car in traffic-plagued India means keeping your eyes fixed on the road. That’s why it makes sense to hire a driver, no matter how much this will strain your budget and, ultimately, you.

The demand for drivers has, of course, burgeoned with the country’s increased affluence, resulting in many unemployed individuals using this opportunity to earn an income by simply pressing a foot pedal. Because you have made dozens of futile enquiries and because the person before you is known to the newspaper boy, you hire him.

It doesn’t take long for employers of the average driver to learn that they are not dealing with a professional. They are dealing with an ignition-turner who navigates the streets just as he would on a two-wheeler and who treats your directives basically as static in the car radio — which he always wants on. This is the first arena in which you must take a stand: Do you want your music, no music, or his music? In town, you may say no, but on the highway, it is a different matter; the mantra here is keep him awake, whatever it takes. You make the call, but as with the many other requests you must make of him, hold the line, never give in, and reiterate your preferences calmly but endlessly, if necessary. As the key is in his hand, it’s a battle of wills, but smile every time you strike him down for thinking he is in the driver’s seat. You are still the driver, as you are still the owner.

On the road, your preferences are the only ones that count. If the driver has the habit, as many amateurs do, of dead-stopping in the middle of the lane when he hears you are uncertain about where to turn, make sure he understands that streets are for moving, edges are for stopping, and that’s not negotiable. Rear-end collisions aren’t okay. Speed is almost always an issue, and advising safety won’t impress them. Driving is little more than a sport or a virtual video game for many “drivers”. Choose your kmph and never let up on reminders.

Roles for him

Driver etiquette is important. Most car-owners are unclear themselves on the driver’s roles. The driver opens the doors for everyone before he sits down. Ladies come first, and the owner’s wife above all, if the owner is a man. Older or important guests enter before anyone else. Also, the driver is not expected to heft sacks of concrete to the car, but he should meet his employer at store doors, ready to help carry purchases.

Trying to save money at the expense of your driver’s goodwill is counterproductive for you. Watch after his health, and see that any medicines are taken. No driver should be asked to drive more than 10 hours a day or sleep in the car on trips; coffee stops are a must.

Different perspective

Remember that the driver has rarely been a car passenger and has little empathy for your issues. Smilingly wear him down with repeated requests for compliance. The secret to avoiding road rage (yours and his) is the practice of monotonous patience and goodwill in your tone of voice, even when you may really want to yank out the neck rest and broadside him.

Master the care and feeding of a good driver, and someday fate may bless you with one like ours: Pranav the U-Turn King, the Parking Pro, Sane Speedster, and Door Master Extraordinaire. A truly professional driver and a credit to the professional passenger in India.

gfrond@yahoo.com

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