A few years ago, on a return flight from Frankfurt to Chennai (almost fully loaded with Indians and people of Indian-origin), I observed a strange thing happening. As the huge aircraft was about to touch down, many passengers got up from their seats and tried to open the overhead luggage cabins and take their belongings out, even as the crew kept announcing over the PA system that all passengers were requested remain seated with their seatbelts fastened until the aircraft came to a complete halt. By the time the plane landed and started taxiing, almost all passengers queued up as if it was an emergency evacuation plan and they were all ready to jump off the plane.
To my utter dismay, my next seat passenger opened the luggage cabin while the aircraft was still in motion and dropped his suitcase right on my head (thank god, it was soft luggage) and, adding fuel to the fire, he did not even apologise but rather gave me just a sheepish smile which infuriated me even more.
Somewhere I had read an article where the author says ‘India is a land of impatient people' and goes on to give a detailed analysis of why the Indian psyche is like that. According to that anonymous author, Indians have always had to struggle to get what they need, be it their rations or a seat in the bus or train, or getting a cinema ticket or even such a simple mundane thing as getting a packet of milk early in the morning.
Answers.com defines impatience as a quality which makes people unable to wait patiently or tolerate delay; restless, unable to endure irritation or opposition; intolerant: impatient of criticism, expressing or produced by impatience: an impatient scowl, restively eager or desirous; anxious: impatient to begin. Christine Egan, in her post on Blisstree says ‘I have no patience for impatient people. The chronically impatient like to waste their time and energy (and everyone else's) on situations that are of absolutely no consequence. Impatient people are those idiots who simply cannot fathom why it might take five entire minutes for them to receive their latte, even though the reason for this unacceptable wrongdoing is obvious'.
She goes on to ask, ‘Are impatient people as serious a problem as the earthquake in Haiti, the BP oil spill, the Chilean mine collapse, or the recent deadly flooding in Pakistan? Of course not. But these tragic, real-life events are precisely why perennially impatient people need to get a serious grip on their problems'.
Patience is a virtue. Impatient people are a vice. One big, bad, consequence is that impatience can be destructive. For example, if you pick fruits and vegetables before they're ripe, you lose in two ways. You'll never get the finished, completely finished version and you won't be able to eat what you have picked.
In today's world, I find that the virtue of patience is not taught right from early childhood. I remember the time when I was a schoolboy and when I wanted to have a bicycle, however much I pestered my father and tried all frantic efforts, I had to wait endlessly before my desire could be fulfilled.
But, today, parents cannot digest the idea of making their child wait for anything ranging from a chocolate to clothing, vehicle or even a car. Most parents do not understand the important psychological principle of ‘delayed gratification' these days because they themselves are a generation of ‘impatient people'. Impatience will cost you. It can cost you money, friendships, pain and suffering or any number of consequences simply because impatience is often followed by bad decisions.
Children have a shorter attention span than adults, commonly making then seem impatient. The best way to teach your children to be patient is to set an example and be patient in your actions. It also helps to give them something to do while they wait, and pay attention to them when you can so there is a balance between having patience and also having their needs met, suggests clinical social worker Bette Freedson in her article “Teaching Kids Patience,” published by the National Association of Social Workers (USA). Finally, as Solomon ben Yehuda ibn Gabirol says, “The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones.”
(The writer is Professor & Head, Department of Social Work, Bharathidasan University, Tiruchi. His email id is: pon.ilango@gmail.com)
Keywords: Open page, patience, impatience
Comments:
sir i read your article published in the the hindu dated:26.12.2010
really patience is a virtue as you said. Your article is thought provoking one in the present days,Ancesy person following patience will achieve what he desires and it is very useful in any circumstances...
sir i am a retired person, i enjoyed your article.i would like to know whether you have written connected with our day today life,if so please inform me.
with best regards,
balasubramanian.
sir i read your article published in the the hindu dated:26.12.2010
really patience is a virtue as you said. Your article is thought provoking one in the present days,Ancesy person following patience will achieve what he desires and it is very useful in any circumstances...
sir i am a retired person, i enjoyed your article.i would like to know whether you have written connected with our day today life,if so please inform me.
with best regards,
balasubramanian.
Mr. Ponnuswami, I totally agree with what you said about the impatience of Indian people. I think it also has to do with a general disregard for rules. We don't really think its important to follow such petty things as what the air-hostess is saying, or what is written somewhere as instructions to be followed. We actually perhaps won't do the same if we went to some other country.
However, I don't agree with the example you gave of waiting long to get a bicycle. Patience is not something which you can teach children by denying them what they need. If children are asking for something which parents think they don't really need, then they should be explained about the same rather then making them pester their parents and then eventually giving them what they want.
You raised an important issue but please don't link issues like this with entirely different issues.
Its an interesting important area of thought,
this write ups are good,
Personality development should contain this aspect,There should be related thirukural for this.Better we make this practical for the student community.(moral science or social,cultural studies)To add to this we have human rights and ethical behaviour can be added so that our chidren/student community can be congenial within country and competent with other nationals.
regards
P.vivek
This is a beautiful expose of the Indian character.I would like to add characteristics like rudeness and and the inability of our race to extend a helping hand to people in need of help in places like airports.railway stations etc.Is this a crisis of character?
The point on 'delayed gratification' is very true! It is an important tool for child upbringing. My father has practised this with me and my sister. Today, i shared the entire article with family! And everyone accepted and appreciated it so much!
i also had similar incident.a month ago i was in new delhi metro railway station,at 10 am on monday.too much rush was there ,and people were using tactics like pushing ,jumping ,crossing lines ,making new rows ,to reach to security check up gate.i also become anxious and asked a fellow standing next to me that how long will it take to reach us to the gate? he replied with a smile that it will hardly take five minutes and he cooled me ,people around us were still fighting and finally we reached in 4 minutes.and that day i realized our people are simply impatient.
Like every other virtues & values, patience should be inculcated in kids from an early age.
Or a chapter called PATIENCE should be made part of their Moral Sciences in school.
Realy very nice article.
One of my friend who is an NRI narrated an event. He was returning from GULF. At the oman Airport,he was accompanied with a co passenger. The neighbour was following the rules of the law at the Oman Airport and appeared to be well disciplined. During the course of the air travel, he was behaving at his best. However when the caption annouded about landing, his attitude changed drastically. Like it is narrated, he started to collect the bagge form the overhead cabin and the moment the plane stopped, he rushed to the Exit despite polite reminders from the Crew.From then onwards he was rushing to collect the baggage , to catch the vehcile and within 10 mintues he was outside the sight.
Finally my friend was wondering, whether it pertains to the gene
Time is precious and life is more precious. We should patiently wait for our turn either to board in or off load from the place. Whether it is bus stand or railway station or for that matter a ratio queue we must wait for our turn. People should be made aware of this so as to ovecome this difficulty.
inculcating the habit of having patience is essential for personality development.Your article is interesting and definitely reflects the traits of a particular Indian mind.Such topics should be introduced a taght practically at all levels of education. In fact the minor things or basics of general humanism or the basics of moral science we use to have in our school days should be compulsorily taught at all levels of education, giving only 15 minutes time to the topic.
yes sir as asclimited says. its in our gene or ethos or culture or something i dont know. as V.S.Naipaul the noble laureate says in his novel fundamentally something is w wrong with our ethos.as the Guntar grass another noble laureate commented " organized chaos" after observing our road behavior
at the end of discussion i can simple say we cant do much. this is the way we are. sorry i can site from our culture to traffic signal to many.
One who is patient will rule the world - Tamil proverb
I quite agree with the author that our impatience is in our genes. Everyday we come across many such instances at Bank and at ATMs where, despite clear instructions to queue, people try to push their way like a bully. Patience and a sense of social responsibility is missing in our people. Let us stop aping the West in culture and start behaving like them in society.
Agreeing with the author is not difficult, for in many ways, we can see it our social culture, centered on our impatience. May be, due to lack of social sensitivity and self-centredness. Stampedes are common in our religious /social congregations, resulting sometimes in tragic deaths of some innocents. All due to impatience. As a result, our social interactions like exchange of ideas, different viewpoints, and dialogues, are more emotional,noisy and sometimes verbal attacks, culminating in physical assaults. There is also another dimension to impatience: we tend to trivialize others /viewpoints(Look at honking and road rage scenes). All this makes me feel we need more a cultural revolution to imbibe the virtues of patience.
A Plus 1 for the author.Firstly,for making us aware how Indians exhibit their manners in plane.Secondly,discussing about the patience in length in today's life.
To Redress the first issue,the airlines should come up with a novel method of playing a video which actually teaches the etiquette to the passengers in the aerodromes.Else,there is a serious danger of Indian image getting tarnished in-front of foreigners.
Good topic.. Although I think impatience is also fueled by today's competitive mindset. In today's world, if someone is patient others mistake you for not having enough 'fire in your belly.'.
I remember a Psychological technique called 'Modelling.' The technique involves bringing change in our behaviour which gets reflected by change in behaviour of others. For instance, when lot of people are messing up impatiently to get down from train when station is nearing, our behaviour can be patient and calm in our seats without troubling ourselves much.
This behaviour will be 'model behaviour' for others to follow patience.
This is well written article. However I would like to point out that an individual can practice patience in an environment where everyone appreciates the value of patience.
Is it true, many passengers ignore the announcements and make themselves fools and inconvenience others. They wait 10 hours to reach India and unable to wait 10 or 15 minutes. What to do, must be patient to bear all these happenings around us.
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