Once upon a time in a country called Buffoonistan there was a Swami (and there were hordes of them) called Mokshaprapta (one who has attained salvation). One day he decided to pray to Lord Shiva for a boon. So he stood on one leg for 1,000 years with both hands raised and eyes closed (which is the classic method of obtaining nirvana in India), praying for Lord Shiva’s darshan (revelation).
Pleased with his indefatigable devotion, Lord Shiva appeared and blessed him. He then told the Swami to ask for a boon.
The Swami said, “Mahadev, I am deeply dejected because while all countries in the world have invented wonderful weapons, my country Buffoonistan has invented none. The Chinese have invented gunpowder, the British warships, the Germans tanks, the Japanese kamimaze pilots, and the Americans atom bombs, my country has produced nothing.”
At this Lord Shiva said, “Do not be dejected. Your country will produce an Amogh Astra [invincible weapon] which none can match.”
“What is that?” enquired the Swami.
“It is anshan [fasting]” replied Lord Shiva. “No weapon can match this.”
The Swami became very happy, and asked for details of this wonderful weapon.
Lord Shiva said: “This weapon has no match because none can equal its spiritual power. However, there is a secret key for using this weapon. And that is this: whether you fast for 3 days or 10 or 20, at the end of it your weight must be more than what it was before you started fasting.”
The Swami felt a bit disturbed. “How is that possible?” he asked. “That is possible only by cheating and eating on the quiet.”
“Chee, chee, chee” said the Lord. “Can I advise you to cheat? No, I will tell you a miraculous method by which you can gain weight while fasting. You should close your eyes, open the third one, which, as Yogis have explained, is on everyone’s forehead, and while doing transcendental meditation, imagine seeing a lot of delicious dishes there. Then you must in your imagination eat that. That will really fill your stomach, and increase your weight.”
The Swami was delighted and he fell at the feet of Lord Shiva, who then disappeared.
The next day the Swami began his fast for abolition of corruption in Buffoonistan. Buffoons from all over the country had assembled in the shamshanghat (cremation ground) where the Swami always held his meetings. He chose this place rather than Jantar Mantar or the Ramlila ground because he wanted his followers to develop a spirit of detachment, forgetting about this world and thinking about the next.
The Swami stood up on an elevated platform before the huge crowd of buffoons and declared that if a law for abolition of corruption was not passed in 3 days his peaceful protest would turn into a revolution.
Now this word ‘revolution’ is dicey. It can mean different things to different people.
In the audience a rakshas (demon) called Charvak was sitting, and he was known to be a mischievous fellow. He had the nasty habit of asking uncomfortable questions. He got up and said, “As far as I know, a revolution seeks to totally transform the entire society, like the French Revolution. You have never mentioned what kind of revolution you want. I think you are a fraud.”
Now saying such a thing, particularly in a crowd of Buffoons, is extremely dangerous. The crowd has a mob mentality, like the Roman mob in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. When Mark Antony incited the mob against Caesar’s murderers, the mob went around seeking them. They caught hold of a poet called Cinna, who was different from Cinna the conspirator, and although he kept protesting that he was Cinna the poet, and not Cinna the conspirator, they lynched him saying, “Hang him for his bad verses.”
Something equally sinister may have happened to our rakshas friend, but the Swami, who is a benevolent person and above petty feelings, beckoned Charvak to the dais, embraced him, and whispered smilingly in his ears, “One more word and I will hang you here upside down.” But no one heard him say this, and people thought that out of magnanimity the Swami had forgiven Charvak.
The Swami then said loudly, “Our brother has raised a valid point and we must consider it seriously,” and having said so he let him back into the crowd, from where he disappeared post haste before the Swami or his followers could change their minds.
The Swami said, “Our brother has raised an important point. How do we make revolution? Can any of you answer? After a revolution Buffoonistan will become a land of milk and honey, there will be no more corruption, or poverty, unemployment, price rise, sickness, etc.
“To achieve all this we must realise that this world is Maya, that is, illusion, as our Vedanta philosophy teaches. So we must realise that corruption, poverty, unemployment, etc., are all illusions. Once we realise this, the revolution will have been achieved.
“So I request all of you to stand on your heads and contemplate the world as Maya.”
Everyone in the crowd then performed the yogic headstand (sheershasana), and that is the last they were seen doing by this observer.
The moral of this story is that everyone in Buffoonistan must have implicit faith in Babas and Swamis to achieve salvation and total revolution.
(The writer is Chairman, Press Council of India and a former Supreme Court judge. His email id is mark_katju@yahoo.co.in)
Keywords: Markandey Katju, fasting, Jantar Mantar, Ramlila Grounds, protest
It is not a matter of surprise if the very work of Anna Hazare and Swami Ramdev pinches someone who has served at one of the highest post in the country under most corrupt governments... So who knows bringing black money to the country may cost some of these people...
Anna and Ramdev may not be all perfect but the cause they are fighting for is all good and this could be understood by a child also..
So instead of reading and commenting on such stupid articles we should try to support anti corruption movements...
The present day ruling politicians understands only the language of Baba Ramdev. Can Mr Katju do anything against scams like 330 telephone connection misused by an ex minister or the prime minister's pat on the 2G hero. Silly writing by a Honble Retd Judge.
Its a masterfully constructed piece of satire. justice Katju Has shown a
most people with so called motives in a new light. while the motives of
the babas may be commendable mob justice is a dangerous trend
He has every right to ridicule the fasts. The satire was also good reading. However, should the piece go overboard and turn out to be in bad taste? One may not entirely agree with the process of fasting or the person's credentials but the objective of progressively eradicating corruption in India is the long-felt need of the common man. Wish the learned writer could have suggested better methods on what he thinks should be adopted to curb the menace of corruption.
A brilliant article by Mr.Katju. All these godmen like Ramdev - who want black money to be brought back - must declare their assets truthfully and honestly. And if they have evaded tax or invested money in dubious accounts - then they must return the money to the Govt., - otherwise they have no moral right to speak about corruption or black money.
But I don't think that will happen - the moment someone points to their financial irregularity - it will be called "political vendetta".
It is ever so easy , for godmen to take Indian people for a ride - and Ramdev is the latest addition to that list.
I guess the author realizes that the "buffoons" include retired judges,
eminent advocates, retired army chief, retired IPS officer. In spite of
this, if he criticizes the movement in a badly written and perceived
satire (is it really?) then I do not doubt he is as anti-national as the
present day government and the ministers.
I did not know that our learned (so called) is such an excellent script
writer. He probably should explore that as a career option. And what
best can we expect from people who are in power because of the same
political forces the movement is trying to change.
Mr Katju this article lacks humour and its a shame that it comes from person who has worked as a judge for so long. The antics which baba and anna display may not go down well the so called intellectuals but no one can argue against the cause they are fighting for. Why don't you driect such a satire towards the members who were party to some of the biggest scams india has witnessed :(
another dry intellectual, another chairman trying to show his ability to
use words of English language. The impressions on the mind of his 65
years journey on earth are too deep to understand the plight of Mother
India
And the main problem in Buffoonistan is that whenever someone tries to
do something, instead of identifying with the cause, the buffoons
identify with the personality. So its enough for the distractors (the
administrators) to just malign the image of the Mokshaprapta to
discredit the entire movement. And with that dies the aspirations of
the people (if there are any left in Buffoonistan), yet again. This
vicious cycle continues over and over again till the remaining people
are transformed into buffoons. Chaos reigns and no one trusts anyone,
not even themselves!! The buffoons take to writing satirical articles
on the state of politics in Buffoonistan and serious articles on
Buffoonywood and Buffoncricket. This ensures that the buffoons live in
a make believe world of self satisfaction and Buffoonistan shining!!
It does not matter at all that one of the respected judges in
Buffoonistan writes a satire instead of a serious constructive
article. After all, what matters!! All is Maya!
Katju has written the entire satire better than editors of Hindu's..It
made me laugh sometimes and it was right on Target..
Kudos to Katju !!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Katju is right in every sense...he just mentioned hordes of Swami in
Buffoonistan and we found here in comment section....no doubt Katju - a
man who has seen both side of justice has got it right
Brilliant work!
Sir, your article is distasteful and discouraging people to air their frustration. As a learned judge how can you contribute to change our political culture and corrupt mentality? Tell your practical ideas to over come present corruption in politicians, judiciary and civil servants.
True demonstration of democracy..."freedom of speech". But it is not clear whether the writer is on which side of the line...in favour of the cause of buffoons or against.
while the article undoubtedly is witty and a spoof on swamijis of the country today, it is also true that our country has produced several spiritual giants who have won true wars of their times with solely spiritual methods and helped in solving india's myriad problems, outlined by author. TRUE SPIRITUALITY, can still solve today's problems as well. May Lord Shiva come to our country's rescue again and restore our belief in god
Katju tried very hard to be funny but in the end the piece came out
rather bland. Satire is not everybody's cup of tea, not especially of
the brown sahibs of buffonistan.
I was returning home on 9th August at 8.30am when a caravan of buses,jeeps,lorries and motorbikes carrying Baba Ramdev and his followers was moving to Delhi recklessly without following any laws and rules of traffic.He and his followers are trying to eradicate corruption all on a sudden.Issues of overpopulation,poverty, unemployment,illiteracy,terrorism, backwardness,racial conflicts, illegal migration,plundering of natural resources,denudation of forests and illegal mining etc are forgotten.Sixty six years have passed since British left India to be run by Indians.Despite all the ills and setbacks,India exists as a sovereign socialistic democratic republic while many countries born in 1947 have either perished or became autocratic with no power to citizens.People of India though poor in physical possessions are the best in the world for patience, tolerance and sacrifice.Gandhiji is the only legitimate servant of Indian people.
Well, I think Katju is just clinging onto the books he has read about revolutions and renaissance of the past and has a rather bookish view on these things. According to him, each country undergoes a transitions phase and goes through turmoil, which by the way is correct but he forgets that it is agitations like the ones done by Anna/Ramdev that also play a crucial role in awakening the sleeping masses. Nobody expects or believes that there will be an overnight change but all these movements will eventually play a role For India, Ramdev/Anna only seemed to have helped in introducing thoughts of change in the mindset of the masses. How can this be a bad thing?
A nice but not so good piece
I request Mr. Katju to live his retired life peacefully, Baba is atleast
speaking and doing what millions of commoners like me feel. katju has
committed a grave mistake of judgement in undermining the movement
started by Baba Ramdev and its potential.
A wonderful read
I wonder how much learning is still needed for a retired learned judge.
Lacks humour or satire analogy not ok
very timely and sensible remarks by someone who has seen both Indian democracy and culture post independence evolving. Babas can have a similar view for retired judges but the fact is Katju is Katju. His sense of hitting the right spot with sweet words must be appreciated.
Yea for sure, these anshan can't make a change within a day or two,
but definitely make a high impact on citizens and the the people
sitting in Parliament. The motive of these anshan is to motivate and
to unite people to fight against such evils,And to SPREAD AWARENESS.
Before independence , the aim of Bhagat Singh behind throwing bomb in
assembly was not to hurt any anyone, but to spread the awareness, to
unite the people to fight against British RAj.
And Yes it is better to be governed by those called 'Buffoons' who are
true nationalists, loyal towards their mother country,and are real
patrotic than to be ruled by 'Learned' corrupts.
To complete the story. In Buffoonistan one person commented on everybody and anybody and thought he was the best in this living world. Instead of offering his
"wisdom" to improve the state of Bafoonistan he could just criticized
everyone who thought a change in system was needed. Instead of
offering a solution , he slowly made himself the part of problem.
So the moral of this story should be " instead of criticizing anyone,
offer a solution to the problem."
The irony of India is that when you talk about nationalism and
terrorism, you will be dealt as communal forces
Brilliant! Love the sarcastic wit. Thanks for the morning chuckle (and
insights, too, if one would care to read between the lines).
When you have father of nation as Mahatma Gandhi. Do the writer nullify
all such efforts of anshan during independence.
Mr. Katju, I think you've gone a little off board this time. The approach might be right or wrong, but the end it seeks is very much what we all want.
This is not expected from the person having stature like Mr. Katju.No one can argue that baba is fighting for wrong cause,yes he may not be as honest as he projects but his cause is worthy.The very fight against curruption is the need of hour,I dont mind giving credit for this to anyone ,be it ANNA,BABA or any Tom Dick and HARRY but the cause must win.
while the article undoubtedly is witty and a spoof on swamijis of the country today, and their pseudo-political aspirations, it is also true that our country has produced several spiritual giants who have won true wars of their times with solely spiritual methods such
as love, etc. India has strayed away quite far from these eternal qualities and following genuine Gurus of yore can work again as before, in solving india's myriad problems outlined by author - problems in my view, that are due to excessive attachment to worldly issues and total disregard for anything 'spiritual' or 'old-fashioned'. TRUE SPIRITUALITY, can still solve today's and tomorrow's problems as well.
May Lord Shiva come to our country's rescue again and restore our belief in god.
The sarcasm does not evoke appreciation. In Hindu myhtology, there was a tribal warrior named Kannapa nayanar. His vocation was hunting in forests. He discovered a stone and believed it has miraculous power. Its a linga installed by someone. He prayed the linga every day. He wanted to thank the Linga for showering him blessings. So he offered what he believed is great. And that is the animals that he killed. A layman will wonder non-violence is unethical, but god respected his underlying will that Warrior had offered what is great for him. The moral of the story is the intention.
Dear Author, Fasting is a wrong way to oppose. Agreed. But this bunch of people are patriots. Let us not ridicule them.
A very funny piece from Jastice Katju, he is very right though with funny correlations.
Anyway , no revolution will ever stand tall unless it is rational and just. Not, masked with irrational ideas that will only provoke people, sometimes even bring some visible change but at their core they are equal to poison.
Be aware of these kind of reformers...
@Subramanian and countless buffoons including me
The problem with claiming higher moral grounds is that one fails to
realize when one has stepped down from those dizzying heights in
attempts to bring down the "corrupt" opponents. The methods may be
"non-violent" in the literal sense, but in no way do they come any
where closer to the Gandhian concept of non-violence, of not only
action, but of thought and spirit.
When one fails to observe the simplest and yet the hardest tenet of
Gandhism of emphasizing on the means more than the ends however lofty
they may be, one can lay no claim to Gandhism. And I say this not
because, I claim any rights on Gandhism, but because this has been the
single most vociferous argument being put forth by the Baba and Anna
to buttress their claims of higher moral ground, of them being right
and everyone who questions them having vested interests.
One must fight hard at the roots of corruption, but that wouldn't be
achieved by sloganeering and jingoism.
well said subramanian.I totally agree with you.
Katju has lost it completely. Babas could have a similar view for retired judges.
An excellent piece of satire. It will do well as a theatre performance.
Satire and parody are great ways to shine a light on truth. We have a right to free speech, that the author has fully used to puncture a group of idealists, who have no power other than to seek change. Bringing back black money is indeed impossible. There are forms to fill, lots of red tape to cross and committees to prepare reports.
The idea of fasting is indeed a comical one... But didn't the father of a nation pioneer it? Was it not the righteous option to question a mighty empire that cared not for the subjects it was ruling? I even saw posters celebrating some sort of 65th anniversary of winning a struggle.
It would be great to see more accomplished people exercise their right to free speech, albeit on subjects that have executive power. One cannot wait to see the author write a satire against people who have power, and people who enjoy power without taking responsibility. I understand it can be a long wait...
P.S: I have also used satire somewhere in this post :)
The swamis and babas has constitutional right to criticize the govt
like any other citizen of this country.If they violate law then they
should be taken care of.But since the swami and babas doesn't follow
socialist policies of soviet union in india mean that they lose the
constitutional right to criticize the govt.obviously the author is
leftist leaning person and hates the swamis and babas.But the swamis
and babas has not put a gun on the author's head or anybody's head for
that matter to support their case.But i would suggest the author that
rather than spreading hate towards the babas and swamis and have a
conversation between the ideas and find out the best result for this
country.This would be a civilized way of doing of things rather than
spewing hatred for certain kind people who do not entertain their
ideas.The author can put his own ideas and discuss the merit of
them.If the author believes in constitutional rights then he should be
defending them for everyone including babas
I am an admirer of Sh. Katju and his bold words,but i don't find a good reason to admire this article.There is no use in pointing finger and making fun of others, until you have a better solution or doing anything better in that matter.Let the people of bufoonistan decide with the flow of time,what they want and who they should follow.Edison said - There is a great value in disaster,because you can start all over again.Perhaps we buffoons will learn a lesson and act better,that's a part of evolution.Let the nature play it's game,and watch all buffoons becoming better.
Last is the need of a little correction - it's 'Kamikaze' not kamimaze.We better spell the respected japanese fighters correctly or let the New York Times spell "Sikh" as "Sick". as pointed earlier-'There is no use in pointing finger and making fun of others, until you have a better solution or doing anything better in that matter'.(pls read lead - 'sharing the same difference' for clarification of last para)
While the article undoubtedly is witty and a spoof on swamijis of the country today, and their pseudo-political aspirations, it is also true that our country has produced several spiritual giants who have won true wars of their times with solely spiritual methods such
as love, etc. India has strayed away so far from
these eternal qualities and following genuine Gurus of yore
whose teachings can certainly work again as before, in
solving india's myriad problems outlined by author - problems in my view, that are due to excessive attachment to worldly issues and total disregard for anything 'spiritual' or 'old-fashioned'. TRUE SPIRITUALITY, can still solve today's and tomorrow's problems as well. May Lord Shiva come to our country's rescue again and restore our belief in god.
In the modern India, to be modern and civilized is very easy.The English
masters of ruling class and system had trained the people through the
'modern' education which is established 'to make Indians a race of
people who are origin and blood in Indian; but english in tastes,
morals,opinion and intellect'.Very few people like swami Vivekananda
,Subhash Chandra and V.D.Sarvarkar could understand this .So today to
be 'learned' buffoons use to abuse ,mock,laugh at their mother and
culture to become Modern and get applause from the Indian 'east India
comany'.When the slaves get freedom they will try to imitate their
masters and think that there is nobody like them in the whole
universe.Alaas!Even though they are ignorant about themselves they boast
that they are world citizens.
Article in poor taste! Not expected from a former judge of Supreme Court
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