It was just the other day when my wife, a homemaker, wanted to visit her mother who was ill that our tryst with the kitchen started. On the day of travel, she asked, “Do you want me to cook some dishes and keep them in the fridge?” I bravely said: “Oh, no, we will manage.” “But,” she said, “Anyway, I have prepared sambar, beans thoran, seasoned butter milk and dosa batter and kept them in the fridge.”
This was followed by some more instructions: “The maid will come at 7 a.m. Get her to wash the clothes and hang them on the clothesline. See that she sweeps the courtyard and tell her to come in the evening also. Please remember to put the trash bin outside with the lid closed for it to be cleared. Don't forget to water the plants.” To my son: “Don't forget to feed the fish in the tank. Don't forget to pick the milk packets from the box at the gate. For tonight, all the food is kept on the table.”
We saw her off at the station. We returned home for the adventure in the kitchen to begin. The following day, I picked up the milk sachet and looked for a vessel to boil milk to make tea. My dilemma started from then on. I was not sure which vessel was earmarked for boiling milk. From the numerous vessels stacked, I finally settled for one. I wondered why in the world we need so many vessels of different shapes and sizes! As milk was boiling, the door bell rang. It was the faithful maid. She wanted to know if sweeping was to be done first. I never had to interact with her before; it was always my wife and her: right from duties to duty timings, payment, loan, dos and don'ts.
Precious time was wasted in finalising the order of priority. I rushed back to the kitchen to find that milk had spilt over. With the little leftover milk I managed to make tea. Cleaning the stove was left for the evening. I ended up with three things in the sink — the milk vessel, a strainer and a spoon. As I just settled for my tea, the servant called me again. “Please switch on the motor to fill the overhead tank with water,” she said. There goes my tea and morning newspaper session!
Day One was easy as there were some bread and curry. I boiled an egg and a cup of milk, and my breakfast was over. In the bargain, three more vessels are in the sink. Well, I thought I will sort it out in the evening. Off I went for work locking the door. I was in the train when an alarming thought struck me. Did I turn off the gas? I was not sure. Did I lock the door? I was not sure. Did I switch off the ironbox? I was not sure. These thoughts kept tormenting me all my way to work and throughout the day till I returned home.
Lunch was over at the canteen and I returned home tired. I needed some rest. But what about dinner? I rummaged the fridge, found some cooked rice. Ah good, I silently thanked my wife for being so thoughtful. I put it in a vessel to warm. The curry, the beans fry, sambar and some fish curry. End result, some six vessels in the sink.
My wife has the habit of keeping the sink clear of dirty vessels, as they attract roaches. The kitchen is kept spick and span before she retires to bed. I wanted to emulate her. So, after dinner the cleaning and washing of vessels started. I was sapped at the end of the session. I felt like having dinner again. Tired and spent out, I just fell into the bed. Suddenly, I woke up at dead of night. The lights are on! Has anybody come?, No, I realised that I had left them on as I buried myself into the bed.
Day II dawned in an almost similar fashion. As I was having my bath, the telephone rang. Half done, I rushed out to find out that the telephone company was reminding me of my dues. Back to the bathroom to finish the unfinished task. I rummage the cupboard for vests and briefs. Where have they gone? I turn the cupboard topsy-turvey. I realise they were washed yesterday and hung out to dry. I have not taken them and kept them in their place. What about the socks, I am unable to find them too – a matching pair seems elusive! It is a hurried breakfast. Only egg and milk. Time is running out. I remind myself to close the gas stove, switch off the iron and remember to make sure that I have properly closed the main door.
Off I rush to office. I am already hungry. Then it struck me. Did I take my daily dose of medicine? I am not sure again! I try to rewind the day at home. I cannot remember opening the medicine box. I am in a dilemma. Better not take it when I am not sure, I resist the temptation to go to the medical store. I experience palpitation. Oh how I wish I could check with my wife if I had taken the morning dose. Her reassuring word would have been the panacea for my worry.
I come back home and find it brightly lit. Has any intruder come in knowing that my wife is away? I slowly open the door. Then the realisation dawns on me. After the usual power cut from 6 to 8, I failed to switch off power when leaving for work. I am sure that my wife is going to find it out when the monthly electricity bill comes. Next, some strange odour in the house. Gosh, I did not empty the trash today. I seal it in a plastic bag to be emptied tomorrow. I am too tired to cook or warm the food. I down some fruits with water. I also remember to take my medication and off I go to sleep.
Before that I set the alarm for 4 a.m. I need to go to the station to receive my wife. I am all excited as my travails in the kitchen will come to an end. I promise to help her in the kitchen every day. I hope it is not like the New Year resolution! At the station as I receive her very warmly, she sees something amiss, my usual abrasive behaviour has vanished. She is perplexed. “Is everything okay? Is there anything for breakfast at home?” I sheepishly answer in the negative. All right, then let's stop en route and have idli and dosa and a strong cup of coffee. This hotel near our home is famous for it.. I am glad to oblige her and off we go. May her tribe increase!
(jj_jacob24@rediffmail.com)
Keywords: homemaking skills, housewives, multitasking women
It is a cute article relating to Previous generation adults. In present age, middle class working couple families, definitely both husband & wives take active part in the kitchen. In fact men maintain kitchen much better than women in terms of cleanliness & organize house much more efficiently.
Being ahousewife I had guilt feeling . But after reading this article I feel proud of myself.
very true , we do not realize the importance of something until we are devoid of that..
Dear Mr. Editor,
I recently came across the Open Page. I have been taken by this concept
and would love to contribute articles of my own. Please could you share
as to how I can do that?
Well narrated the plight of a husband when the wife is away. The importance of a woman in this patriarchial society can be well elevated with this kind of article. But I am sure that the present generation folks have familiarised themselves with the cooking.
It was fun to read thr' the article. However over a period time monotony sets in as the house chores are almost same everyday, everyweek, month, year and hardly there is any difference. Hats off to the home makers for they endure this monotony for the joy of their loved ones and keep us ticking. They really deserve our love, care and salute !!!!
@aparna. the author is tired of telling his part in this episode. he will continue on the next episode about his son.. lol.. please don't take serious.
R.C Mohan : What a chauvinistic statement! So what if a man's partner is an IT employee, or an investment banker, or a pilot or a police officer or a professor or a scientist? Whatever her profession, they're EQUAL partners - they both need to contribute on the home front - regardless of gender. What division of labour would you suggest to a homosexual couple? Should be similar to a heterosexual couple too, right?! Why attach stereotypical labels/roles to women because of their gender?!
Imagine, if the wife is a IT sector employee! You can narrate the
travails of a husband in reverse.
Great post! My brother once while in a group discussion during MBA entrance said "my grandmother is the best manager i've come across. I doubt if people in my generation can manage a house that well".
Well written article!! i enjoyed it , and ya may our tribe increase in this article author had clearly mentioned about the role of a women which is potrayed very beautifully in this article.
Good one! This article highlights the work of a home maker, however, I believe this is the case with a working woman too. Women empowerment in today's scenario means that woman goes out to work at office and at the same time work at home. Woman is supposed go out for a job out of her interest and is not mandatory for her to. Either ways the onus of homemaking totally lies on her.
What happened to your son? No mention after initial suggestions given to him by your wife!!He could have atleast picked up the call while you were bathing!!! Kitchen work is not as difficult as it is presented here. But if one depends even for his undergarments and socks on his wife, then, no doubt this will be the situation.
I am surprised that not many women had commented on this.I had gone through similar experience when my wife was away for 2 months. I enjoyed making different kind of food.It taught me how did these women manage the house hold affair.It will be good case study for the management students to learn something from these home makers and put it to good use at the work place.Interested persons can read my blog:myasn49.wordpress.com-cooking.I would conclude that let us plan for increasing these home makers and instead let us make our children,both boys and girls, to be a good homemakers.
A very well-written experience by a inexperienced house holder.Congratulations to the other for overcoming a tiresome two-day adventure in his own house.This article has very well picturised the day long chores of women.It has proved behind every man there's a woman.Or else it becomes the other way round watching the men running behind women for help from the devil shadowed house responsibilities.hats off to the woman who manage the household duties and children in spite of their own duties such going to the office.
The real greatness of an house-wife and how she handles her chores comes out when she is out from the scene. Good narration of the instructions and implementations of day to day affairs at home. Hats off to wives
This is a amazing article.This article was surprize for me because the day it published in Hindu that day only my wife went to her native for first time after our mairrage and prior to reading this article i was feeling same what Jacob has described in this article.I felt like i have written this article in my dream.At last i just want to say my Wife "Please come back soon,Me and our kitchen missing you too much"!!!!!.
superb....article ...A big punch to some working women who feel that housewives sit and relax at home and waste time watching television. I believe that a home maker works at home and saves money - every penny saved is every penny earned while the working women work for others (companies) and earn money..... so no big difference ...both have to work hard. So pls. don't condemn housewives ... indeed THEIR TRIBE MUST INCREASE ..... as a working woman's daughter i have suffered a lot in life hence i opted to be a housewife and take care of my husband and daughter...
It's deplorable to see that men can't take up household responsibilities. They are so dependent on the 'woman in the kitchen'. I agree that women are great at multi-tasking but it's unfair for her to do everything at home. Also, men are just happy that their wives do everything for them. They don't appreciate her hard work or help her out.
The article has revealed the most important face of a woman who manages everything at home. The writer must have been brought up in the school of older generation's thoughts because today we see boys or men able to manage such trivial things like cooking or cleaning up on their own. Anyway, kudos to the writer for having realised the importance of his home-maker.
My wife being in US for four months I have experienced still worse situations and reading the article reminded me the experience I had. Beautifully written.
Nice and witty. Just like what is happening in our day today lives.
Not sure what is the age of the husband mentioned. If he is above
50-55 it is true in most of the households.
But present day men understand the travails of the woman in the
kitchen whether she is a homemaker or an employed wife and
definitely share lot of work in the kitchen. May be little bit
clumsy but over a period acquire near perfection in their chores.
It is wonderful experience to assist your spouse in the kitchen.
But cannot match the women. Yes long live their tribe.
What about to your son? In this story the couples have a son "Feed the fish"
Just curious,
V
Men who opted for the option working from home, now think twice, as their housekeeping task gets passed on to them!
Excellent Article..The way you narrate made it awesome..
I like the language particularly the choice of words. Other than that, nothing great about the article.
I have been doing most of the work at home and enjoy doing it. Not sure why the protogonist in the article is making such a big deal.
The article reeks of mediocrity. What if the tables were turned? What would the scenario be like if all of a sudden the man exits the scene and the woman who is the homemaker as in this case is required to fend for herself and the family financially? I could argue that if the homemaker is thrown into the work force it would be just as confusing, chaotic and befuddling. Nonetheless the take home message should be that every individual must train himself or herself to be independent, in which case the question of "non expendability" does not arise
it is easier to sit at home and does household stuffs than to go and fetch the bread money. obviously the huband will feel tired as he is doing two persons job. put it the other way; the husband is dead and the wife has to do all the household job and also work outside to fetch the bread, she will then too realise the role and importance and the difficulties of her husband .moral everybody is important and have their respective role.
God has gifted everyone with specific talent.
so dont try to bring emotion in between with silly stories like this
My mother had a full time job, my wife has a full time job. We work by
sharing chores and doing it to our convenience. I am not alone in that,
there are hundreds of families where the guy cooks, looks after the kids
while the wife has to work extra hours.
Hope guys like this article writer is an aberration.
Poor fellow. He has not narrated after his wife's return to Kitchen. It is as good as losing the war when every thing rolled as per plan.
Very well narrated...but the son is lost inside...should have mentioned the plight of children left to tend for themselves specially when the mothers are not at home or when mothers who are not only homemaker but also one of teh earning member of the home. A lot of importance was given into the details of the kitchen dwelling, management of the house where most women do a wonderful job of multitasking which is beyond recognition. I really liked the ending when the wife was surprised to see the tone of the husband being so friendly and not showing the usual male dominance. This shows his realisation of how the home is being managed with no hassles for him and how homemaker is as dignisfied role in society.
Does this article suggest that men will never help in household chores??
or that women should be relegated to the kitchen?? While her (the
homemaker's) tribe shouldn't increase, that of husbands who happily
partake of duties at home definitely should. I'm not surprised that this
piece is written by a man :-(
Managing a house just as a homemaker - the woman of the house, does is
not a joke. The husband thinks that it so easy – a child’s play. He
also thinks that the wife does nothing – takes rest and relaxes and
then only shops. He affirms that the office work is more tedious than
the house work. The job of a homemaker is a 24*7 job with no break and
holidays not even a SUNDAY. Cooking, managing children, cleaning the
house, attending the other chores? Can a man do all what the
homemaker does? A big NO. Why is it so difficult for a man to accept
it. Multitasking with ease – that’s what the woman of the house does
and all that she expects is just love, acknowledgement and
appreciation.
Looks like the guy who wrote this was one lazy fellow. These days it is the other way around. AS someone commented earlier, men who have to go overseas for job/studies have to do all these chores besides the regular job and with no luxury of a maid. It is the women there who are often lazy sitting at home and getting fat. A lot of girls these days are'nt taught how to cook by their mothers, unlike in previous gneerations. This is because they seek a busy lifestyle and work long hours in a job after graduation which rarely leaves them time to cook. Men can also easily multitask, thats what makes them successful at work and successful leaders as well. why do you think all marriage chefs are men and not women? Men can cook and cook better than the fairer sex when they put their mind into it. Iam not intending my comment to sound like some anti-feminist rant, but one pampered husband's tale cannot be generalized to all
It is really good to read this article with something positive than some complains about how things should work.
Though makes it funny to read, the workload in the kitchen is enormous and highlights the "woman-management" in running the daily chores smoothly, without a slightest help or sympathy from "mankind". At this juncture, I pinpoint the "training" or "creating a situation
to enter the kitchen for work" by my mother helped me to "man-manage" the kitchen workload with ease and independence. Even now i take control, at slightest holiday & time available and maintaining it spick and span after the turbulence of cooking by my mother.
The "Kitchen work experience " helps in facing any workload even in bigger industries with ease.
What is the fun or humor in being utterly dependent on someone else for even the simplest chores? Cannot understand the humor at all!
The description of the helpless husband may be appropriate for the species a generation ago. Many of the present generation are quite accomplished in household expertise. I should know having lived more than 4 score years. Even me, at my none too tender age can turn out a desent enough meal and competently tackle other household chores. But the piece was quite readable as a comic narrative.
but i must say, sharing responsibilities equally with wife in managing home is great. tough to work initially but builds bond.
This is the condition of most men. Its high time Indian men realise that running a house is not the responsibility of the wife alone. These are basics in life which everybody should be involved in irrespective of man or woman. This culture should begin at an early age. Then there will be no such handicaps.
After being a career woman myself for over 15 years, and now being a fulltime homemaker, I can see what kind of day a typical housewife/homemaker goes thru...there is hardly any freetime...there are so many open ends that she ends up closing each to ensure the next day or week is smooth...apart from planned activities, unplanned ones creep up from nowhere and eat up sometime of her day...though I agree that it is not an impossible deed for a male to play the homemaker, I feel women are naturally equipped with skills to be the one...I feel so proud while sending off my husband and daughter to office and school respectively and know that my contribution has made them get the due attention, recognition and promotion in their respective areas...and they too acknowledge my role in their spheres...and this is all the more fulfilling than a plush job anyday! yes...as rightly put, may her tribe grow...please don't deride the author as male chauvinist...that is an unnecessary allegation!
As ususal, its the tale of how husbands have to struggle when wife is gone home. Howcome no one ever writes about how wives have to manage when husbands are away on office trips. Someone should write about that too. :)
Oh ho ho! Look! A funny article about a man who cannot remember to put out the trash! I cannot fathom why The Hindu decided to publish something as >stereotypical as this. Let us have some more, er, housemakers, whose sole, unpaid aim in life is to feed, clothe and serve Men Who Work And Earn Money. Simply ridiculous! Reminds me of some lines by Peggy Seeger: "Now I really wish that I could be a lady I could do the lovely things that a lady's s'posed to do I wouldn't nearly mind if only they would pay me And I could be a person too What price - for a woman You can buy her for a ring of gold To love and obey (without any pay) You get a cook and a nurse, for better or worse No you don't need a purse when a lady is sold."
All said and done, men of such tribe do exist and the women folks of yesteryear have also had their hand in making them so - only udhyogam is purusha lakshanam. Glad that the author has realized his wife's work load. Expecting men to give a helping hand in daily chores is still a luxury and many women just expect the men the acknowledge the work they do. They dont even need a helping hand, just an understanding and acknowledgement.
A sweetly written articles.
Description is quite elaborative and nicely pictured.
Hmm...very funny and amusing, but I hope that the author is a member of the
elder generation. In the modern world, I would have expected a man to be at least
able to manage a couple of days by himself.
Our mother taught us both enough about the household, by getting us to do small
tasks as kids so that living alone on our own was no issue. With a little effort, we
were able to get used to even cooking - a great help during our days as students
on foreign shores. And now with children of my own and living in a modern family
where husband and wife both work, it is quite self-evident to me that both me and
my wife share the various tasks in the household.
Perhaps we should teach these things to our sons and not just to our daughters!
We talk too much about female empowerment, gender balance etc. without doing
anything to address the concrete issues.
Funny and well written. But the fact of the matter is it is not funny for the "tribe". They toil away in the kitchen only to be picked for that extra salt in sambar, extra sugar in the coffee...It's all about the upbringing. As a kid, if trained properly to share the household chores ofcourse the mammoth burden of the kitchen on the "tribe" would be acknowledged and shared. The so-called weaker sex actually is stronger. Kitchen work drains you off more than the 9 to 6 office work. The "tribe" can never be compensated monetarily for their toil, atleast let's be sensible for her sacrifice!
Don't take this article seriously.Enjoy the description in this story.Necessity is the mother of Invention.Hence everone will adjust to his new environment after sometime.They become experts in the process.have a good laugh at his experience!!
Women are to be blamed. When every daughter is trained why not the mothers train their sons too??? Anyways a solemn concern has been uttered in a hilarious way. Women do things expecting not anything more than love in return. This is her utmost attribute which formulate the endurance a momentous.
Excellent One . Narration was too good . South Indian flavour to the family was the highlight .
I hope the tribe of womenfolk who take care of everything at home and
work for the sake of their (lazy) husbands will not increase, and
instead steadily decline! Let the husbands learn that it takes two to
tango, and become equal partners at home as well!
Days are not far off when home makers as described in the article will become rare species. Many children are now learning some cooking and self managing due to their education or work at distant places. Such people like the author only spoil our children also. Wish his tribes decrease like burning wax!However, it is good for Sunday reading by such people. I also wonder like the author why on earth there are vessels of so many sizes and shapes in an Indian kitchen. Perhaps it serves the easthetic sense of the kitchen user!
Well narrated article based on personal experience. We do often
take it for granted that the household chores could be easily managed.It is only when we encounter it we know the difficulties of it. Certainly proves the values of homemaker.
Well written, and a very honest admission from the author, if I may
add. To all those who are objecting to the so-called stereotyping in
this article, wake up and smell the burning dosa!! :) For every
'emancipated', kitchen-savvy Indian male of today, there are ten
others who are all at sea in housekeeping and basic cooking.... I
personally would love to send this out to the many mothers who
lovingly say "My boy can't even boil a cup of water"...even when the
'boy' is on the wrong side of thirty!! Men AND women should be able to
run the basic needs of a household. What most men don't seem to
realize is that when we wives ask for help around the house, we're not
asking you to take over....we need the reassurance that you can look
after yourselves, AND we need to know that our value in the family
goes beyond housekeeper cum cook :) Gentlemen, here's a hint.....
women adore men who step in to give a hand and show their
appreciation!
A woman who is there for a her family 24* 7 is loved worshipped by her
family members .Thats why people get angry when they see women been
tortured or thrown out of house coz they feel that the woman is same
as her mother or wife . A woman who has sacrificed her life for her
children taking care of them there studies , earns the worship of her
kids who will do anything for her , so when kids abandon there parents
indians hate them coz they feel a woman like there mother is abandoned
and helpless.A woman who takes care of her husband and in laws is
loved and respected by them and they hate people who burn there brides
coz they feel like someone is burning there a woman like there own
good wife or dil .Good women earn the warmth the loyalty of the family
for whom they toil.Indians hate people who torture them and abuse them
just like they hate the women who ignore there children or drive away
there in laws .We are indians this is our culture..
From time immemorial men have made it customary to offer liberal appreciations which have made women elated. This has essentially resulted in taxing women and total dependability of men.Anyhow men are placed in a double-win situation wherein they can be in the good books of women for appreciating womenfolk in time ,at the same time escaping the responsibilities of household duties. What a nice strategy by men! Dear women,don't fall a prey to such exaggerated accolades.Then you are doomed.
I blame this guys mother who brought him up and his wife who let him not do or realize anything till the day she has to take off. What lesson is she giving her son..It is always women (who protect their sons, husbands (in some cases daughters) in a parasitic way by feeding them food and taking care of them too much as if they love them, It is their way of making sure that people cannot survive without them. In my family my mom and uncles.. everyone in the family share the work, complete it and then we enjoy the time together.. But like someone has already pointed out these days in families with maids the daughters are also brought up in such a way . These kids just grow up to be spoilt and they know only how to take care of themselves..eat out and dress up like models but when you look at the way they take care of their surroundings, people, room and environment you want to stay away from them or curse that they migrate to US and get room mates like them alearn to live without any help
I don't understand how some readers here failed to got the point. Its
not that women are meant to be dishwashers, its about their ability to
multitask and manage every situation. No job is easy, especially as a
homemaker. Its not the homemaking but our prejudiced mentality towards
homemakers which made it worse. Respect individuals for what they do.
Article shows the role of women in her life. She is a multitasker. Man used to say what you do whole day just sit at home and do nothing. When you step into her shoe then only you would come to know her value.
I wonder what happened to the writer'son who was also given some instructions to feed the fish while the home maker was away. Perhaps Jacob John has forgotten the boy while locking his house in his hurry to rush to his office. Or absent minded just like putting off gas cylinder or not switching off iron box or the extreme step of not closing the front door ? Again when he went to the station to receive the homemaker the youngster was left in the house? No mention is made & I am sure the readers will be equally anxious to know!
A Woman's importance in man's life was beautifully penned down making me
go down the memory lane how my dad used to come out with bland
breakfasts during my mom's visit to her mom's place. Even two days of
her absence seemed like two decades.
Well, if I take out the humor, it seems to me that this man is incapable of doing simple and ordinary things; I wonder how he manages to keep a job!
this article camouflages a truth. Writer implies that men are not good at house-hold chores. So its best left to women. In reality, men definitely can cook and do other chores if only they applied their minds to it. After all, the best cook the nation knew was a man - King Nala.
also, the term "homemaker" being used to refer to women who do not work outside of their homes is bothersome. Career women work outside as well as at home. Are they not home makers too??
we need to have a different term to refer to women who do not have an outside job. Because whether a woman has a career or not - she is still the one "making" the home.
Its high time women in our country get their due respect. Very well
narrated, and it should be read by each and every husband who thinks
that their wife's tasks are trivial and don't respect them enough. I
salute all the homemakers out there.. Its the toughest job in this world
All the incompetent & unappreciative husband(s), may
your tribe decrease!
Gone are those days; today many youngsters do help wife in cooking and house keeping, particularly those settled abroad ! With both partners working, this has become necessary routine ! So called great domestic science colleges should recruit males also for special program lessons in kitchen work, home maintenance (including electrical fittings, fuse change, water tap minor repairs, use of grinder mixie, all types of stove etc, ) for the benefit of new couples and ensure home keeping is shared well !
Only way to ensure equality and empowerment of women eh !
Moral of the story: Men should learn to stay alone and depend less on their wives. :)
Good thing, every husband must experience this. At present I am in a
similar situation, except that we have a full time maid to look after
house and kitchen. I have to take care of my personal matters which my
wife was handling.
In some of the comments, there is a word 'housewife'. I am sure many working wives and mothers also read this article. The above narration applies to all Indian wives and mothers - working outside or home. Family culture is the pride of India and wives/moms make that happen. We should inculcate such qualities in our daughters whether they opt to become home-makers, doctors, lawyers, artists, administrators or pilots. And we should remember teach our sons to do team work!!
Good written article.It would wrong be to just stop at saying they are home makers , they also create future generations by be guide to children at home and there by shaping future generations. Now days how many would prefer to be Home Maker ? Independence and Freedom matters most , most feel they are spoiling thier life being home maker failing to see the bigger picture.
Add to this a working lady then it says lot about the home maker.
As rightly said, may thier Tribe increase for safe and peaceful family life.
Oh yeah right! Let such tribes grow.. so that I laze around and don't make any effort and marvel at my inability!
Well written article and thoroughly enjoyable. However, I have to disagree with the author. Although this scenario can be true in many households but in many households the husbands have to run the family properly. As pointed out by Vimal, men are actually as good as women in doing the houseworks. If the girl (wife) is not trained to do the household work properly when she was a kid, then she is not good in running the house/family. This applies to the husbands also. So, parents please train your son and daughter on how to maintain the family.
The article by the author putting his travails of a day without wife at home is really thought provoking. But persons like me does not feel the difference I under take almost all responsibilities of efficiently the home and can cook and maintain the kitchen spic and clean, because I was self trained to handle such affairs from tender age and my son is allowed to do certain amount of house hold scores. Such persons who are trained by their parents feel the pinch during such crisis. Let like in US and other EUROPEON COUNTRIES let our men folk get them abreast of taking care of our home.
This is how all the men, especially the high caste, are spoiled by their wives. It is not too late. Start teaching cooking to your sons from the beginning and other domestic chores so that they do not depend entirely on their wives for anything and thus can lead a peaceful life.
Superbly written! Sharing it right away with all the super-efficient homemakers I know... and to their husbands!!
If this story is true, then you really take (took) her for granted and you are (were) extremely unfair to her, even if you have realized your folly today. A husband's job is to help her wife as much as he can, even if she is a homemaker. I am glad to see that you accept your error and honestly hope that she receives the help she deserves (even if she doesn't ask for it). Start with serving her bed tea to thank her.
From my own personal experience, men are just as good at maintaining the house and going about daily chores on top of work. If you are overseas as a bachelor is that not what all men do. Maybe the man might not go grinding rice and urid dhal to make batter for dosai but you can very well live without dosai. If you are very particulr that you have dosai one can always use the readmade mixes available although they are no match to the ground batter. Forgetting to pay the telephone bill, not interacting with the house maid, not sure if you switched off the gas,lights, problems with washing up after eating are no excuses at all. In fact having a maid is a luxury if you are in the west. Nevertheless, the article was some interesting light reading.
A good one! Indeed a homemaker is a multitasking woman! She has no appraisals, no promotion or increments! All she wants in return is love and affection.
as for son, he should have gone with the mother. anyway, if there is such a nice hotel outside it is a pity that john did not know about that as the first thing and his wife had to come and tell. the moral of the story is know cooking. I think if john has lived in America before marriage all his problems faced in the absence of his sweet wife may not have happened.
Very well captured scenario. Though the job looks simple - the home maker's energy needs to be appreciated.
This is funny and well-written, but brings up a serious issue. Indian men behave like children, they contribute almost nothing to the cooking and the house. Stark contrast to western countries where the men and children typically share the cooking and house-maintenance chores with the mother--it is a family affair and not left to the woman. I hope at least this generation is teaching their sons to be more evolved.
I am sure must be same the other way around, but I guess anyways men shouldn't consider their wives as maids, a regular know how of things going in the house is a manageable activity no matter how busy one is.
Add to it the genius of Keshav...Great writing, great artistry!
what a male chauvinistic article...it's so clear that the author had never visited the kitchen ever in his life except for eating and has never done any house hold work. atleast teach your son something about sharing responsibilities. it's not late to teach him else he will grow up to be kike you!!! i've seen most people from my generation have difficulties as stated here simply due to the fact that it was not taught when they were growing up. the problem now is girl child grows without any household responsibilities too! !! so the future generation is going towards a collision course! !!
The article is nice & thought-provoking. Managing home is not an easy task as it involves a lot many things. Therefore, instead of calling her as 'home maker', let us call her as 'Domestic Engineer' as it will be a fitting tribute to her enormous patience, thoughtfulness, sense of care and concern for other family members. I had the writer's experience many a times, but not clean bowled like the writer. Though I really appreciate my wife's great sense of responsibility, but I too mastered the art of cooking and cleaning the house reasonably, for which my wife always admire me. In order to impress and please my wife, I used to keep our home immaculately clean when she is out especially her strong bastion, the Kitchen. As we increasingly come to realize the complexities of home science, let us lend her a helping hand especially during sundays & holidays to keep her off from routine and sometimes boring domestic works. After all, caring and sharing means respecting & emphathizing her.
a stereo type article reinforcing the indian version of womanhood. the man in the story is a male chauvinist, who thinks that his wife should perform seva for him. i would have liked to see more comments from objecting to such gender stereotyping. is an indian male incapable of cooking or maintaining his home. or is he not interested in doing domestic chores or just being lazy. the hindu needs to relook at such stereotyping of gender based roles and avoid such articles however homely or humorous they seem.
Great narration of experience. True its really what women see things differently at home science and we men find things of chaos. I found this true experience and have been then assisting to make my home a home. Enjoyed reading and hope our Mars folk do understand the value of seeing differently.
well written! may her tribe increase. women are great at MULTITASKING..!! house work is not an easy task as people think...and on top of that such labour is not appreciated by people ...to work 24/7 without expecting any returns,except smiles on the face of people for whom they do it..... applaudable! (: are men ready for such unpaid laborious task? ;)
There was a mention of a son at the beginning of the article, but nothing about him thereafter. Let's hope you didn't forget to pick him up from school.
Written in a casual way portraying a clear picture of multitasking by housewives ......Hmmm tough job taken with a sweet smile without expectations.
What about your son? You forgot about him after the second paragraph :D But overall was nice and fun to read.
Experience narrated well. I had done most of the household chores during my teenage since my mother was unwell most of the times. Thanks to her guidance that I am able to manage the affairs even now after a gap of forty years on transfer away from home. I do the cooking wash clothes, vessels and do the cleaning and mopping of the floor. Moral of the story 'experience is a good master and it teaches us to be humble'.
Often I too realized that my wife's sufferings in the kitchen for the well being of the family and thought over to help her in some way. but I never started to help her really. I believe that the kind of helping in the house hold chores needs to be taught to the offspring’s from the childhood by the parents and some kind of input from the school teaching as well for keeping the house neat and tidy. Also to dispose the wastes in a proper way in the earmarked areas and educate them not to spoil the public areas as well to keep the environment clean.
He has my sympathies.I enjoyed his travails. He was a true patriarchal Indian husband when his wife left. Maybe he changed.
The author has vividly portrayed the happenings in a family in a brief manner. The love and affection between the wife and husband and their children will rather enlarge in such situations. As a house wife the duties, rather service rendered in making the house a happy one, has no similarity or parallel. A house maker is a house maker indeed.
The writer has very aptly described the important role played by the housewives for homemaking. The contribution ,love care and empathy of her shapes the home into beautiful place to live.
While i like the humour and the homilies, this article makes me raise some questions. Like, is the man not capable or simply unwilling to learn the drudgery? Would the husband after the return of his wife share her labours, now that he understands the complexity of husbandry? My recommendation is that every man should be sent to a foreign country far away from his mother, on minimum wage to live alone before marrying. That would give some serious domestic training. Maybe have a license test for marriage before a man can claim a wife. That would be so funny, would'nt it? Or perhaps no one will see the lighter side. May the brood of house wives dwindle.
Jacob John, Very well presented and I think every man in India would appreciate this and agree with every word you wrote. Only when we fill have to fill the other person's shoes, we realize how much effort goes on their end. Hope yr MIL is doing better now.
Excellent narration of the travails of a husband without his wife at home!
Please Email the Editor