I keep getting these forwards, by WhatsApp and email, urging me on to some naturopathic treatment. Generally it involves imbibing a solution with ingredients such as ginger, lemon, garlic and so on, and the offer goes on to cover all kinds of herbs/orchids/seeds/roots/fruits (at times with the peel)/vegetables, and so on. The recommended concoctions vary widely in all respects, but there will always be one common feature: it will need to be taken first thing in the morning, on an empty stomach, thereby effectively screwing up the rest of the day.
These, if taken daily for a period of time ranging from as short as one week, to the rest of your life, will provide a bonanza — or that’s the solemn assurance held out.
This bonanza may be cosmetic in nature. It may be a full head of shining, wavy hair, or rippling chest muscles (the ‘abs’), or gravity defying changes to the various appendages the human body is blessed with, or teeth that acquire the strength and appearance of white marble last seen when the Taj Mahal was getting off the drawing board.
The main boon promised, however, is something that will perk up the various organs, ranging from the brain, and travelling down to… aah, never mind. The hell-brew purifies, rejuvenates, refines and energises one or more organs, be it a set of dead tonsils, or cracked toe-nails… The favourite areas selected for these treatments happen to be the blood, heart, liver, kidneys, and the intestines.
I recently fell for one of these. Though I don’t have a cholesterol problem, I did feel that reducing the cholesterol level by drinking water in which guava tree leaves are boiled, two litres a day as recommended, could help. The cholesterol readings before I subjected myself to this treatment was, however, less than what finally emerged, after drinking two litres of that awful stuff daily for a month, as prescribed.
A joke is a joke, and I can take one, but not when my innards are sought to be tampered with. But these days, it’s anything for a laugh, it seems.… These are indeed hard times.
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