My regular day doesn’t start with my mom worrying for my marriage, because I am not with them, but in Delhi, a thousand kilometres from home in Patna. But yes, thanks to the mobile phone and Skype, I am often asked difficult questions, by my parents about marriage every night after I return from my office. I avoid giving an answer, by either saying “OK” after every statement or “I am getting late for sleep” (as per requirement).
There are many reasons why I’m not ‘yet’ married, with every member of the family contributing a bit to it. Let’s begin with me. I am working in a company for a fair package; but I don’t believe it to be decent enough, at least not for getting married and taking up all those responsibilities. I consider it to be too low even to be able to afford a Goa trip or a river-rafting adventure in Rishikesh with my friends. Right now, I have a room in a flat with a big empty hall (booked for parties on Friday nights); soon after marriage I would have to have a full flat with showcase, teddy bears, sofa set, centre table and a television in the hall. It seems disturbing.
I’ve a girlfriend too, who has made significant contributions in keeping me unmarried by being confused about me and making me confused about her. On alternate Sundays she insists on a court marriage (saying her parents won’t allow her to marry me in the temple). I would say the courts are closed today, and we will do it the next day, that is, Monday. But on every alternate Monday I receive a text message that states that “we are good friends and will remain that, I can’t deceive my parents.” With that I lose my strength to visit a lawyer.
Let’s talk about my mother now. Well, she shows herself as a liberal person, but remains a diehard conservative. Even a girl of the same caste won’t do, she has to be from the same sub-caste. The way celebrities prefer designer-wear and watches, my mother is seeking a designer-wife for me. She needs a girl with good height, very fair complexion, from a decent family, with a good cultural background (sanskaari). She should be highly educated. Most importantly, she should have a very good kundli with no dosh (fault). Gun (trait/quality) matching with regard to kundli goes against established scientific principles. It says similar traits (for a couple) are good for married life. This goes against the principle that opposites attract and sameness repels.
Fault-finding in a girl’s profile has been my mother’s pastime. I believe she has fully imbibed the philosophy that for a mother, all good qualities have been bestowed on her son and he is the best one. This can be dangerous, but what my father thinks would be equally dangerous. He thinks every proposal for my marriage is a good one. He would say: Badhiya to hai, aur kya chahte ho? (Everything is fine with the proposal, what else you want?). Believe me I am in a trap!!
The so-called relatives are also deceptive. When they talk to me they would say: “It’s your life, you are mature enough, do whatever you feel to be good for you”. Then, when they meet my parents they would say: “Do something urgently, or else your child is going to slip away”.
These are enough reasons why I am not yet married.
Keywords: marriage issue