When I tell my mother, who is old, that I am unwell, she becomes very anxious. She asks me to consult a doctor and often ‘pesters’ me with the request.
Her concern for my well-being and good health is born out of good intent. Yet, when she continues to repeat her suggestion that I see a doctor, the entreaties turn into harangue. What is it that snaps in me causing irritation?
The honest truth is, when constantly reminded, I assume that her inability to contain her anxiety is foist on me as concern.
When someone we know is experiencing a personal challenge, I believe it is important to communicate our concern; yet, it is also important to make the person feel supported and not overwhelmed. How we communicate concern, and not allow it to manifest as anxiety, is certainly a tact.
It may be wise to emotionally align with that person, not sympathise but be available to assist, as the individual slowly, and perhaps painfully, is coming to terms with their discomfiture, anguish and despondency. In so doing, we will unequivocally and effectively communicate our intent.
Kahlil Gibran says “the pillars of a temple stand together yet apart, so likewise there must be space in our distances”.
The writer is an organisational and behavioural consultant. He can be contacted at ttsrinath@gmail.com
