Respected Sir/Madam,
Hello, I would like to ask Google.com just one question — whether we are going to solve the problems in our society or do stupid time pass with chess computer?
If by mistake I wake up in the morning and forget to put on spectacles and sit on the remote control, suddenly TV will show some HD DEVEGOWDA MISSING IO AYAYYO type message. And then finished. Next two hours Mrs. Mathrubootham and I will sit and press button after button after button on 25 remote controls and TV will refuse to cooperate. Air conditioner and fridge and ceiling fan and everything will make sound, but TV will just sit there doing nothing and showing useless messages like AVI NOT CONNECTED TO COAXIAL KINDLY CHECK DOLBY FOR SURROUND BRIGHTNESS.
First I will shout abuse at TV, while Mrs. Mathrubootham will press remote. Then when I get tired after five minutes, she will abuse and I will press. And then after 45 minutes when she has finished abusing, we will exchange.
Unfortunately, this is modern television where on/off button is kept in some secret place as if it is recipe for Adyar Ananda Bhavan mysurpa. As usual I will have to put on some clothes and go to the electricity meter outside and switch off the circuit board for the whole house. Stand there for two minutes. And then switch it on again like Bajaj Chetak. And hopefully when I come back, TV will be decent.
Google fellows will do something about this? No. They will make computer that can play chess. Thank you for this humanitarian service.
Sometimes we will go to airport and one gentleman will say, “Sir, what you are standing in line like ignorant people, just use this machine for self check-in?” I will think, “Oh! What a great progress in the 21st century.” Machine will say scan your ticket. I will scan. It will say sorry please try again. So I will scan again. Then it will say, ok now please enter some details. Ok, no problem computer. Then it will say, please choose seats. I will look for Mrs. Mathrubootham and just for some comedy, say Kamalam should we sit side by side or separate?
But Kamalam has disappeared. She is standing in one corner and having deep discussions with some pilot or co-pilot. Sir/ Madam, for Mrs. Mathrubootham any man in a uniform is total weakness. It is like putting PWD tender in front of Tamil Nadu MLA. What photo normal ladies will use as wallpaper on their phones? Husband or children or flowers or scenery or black and white wedding photo or Balaji? My wife has photo of Satyaraj in Walter Vetrivel .
Finally, after 10 minutes of self check-in, computer will say many thanks for your valuable contribution, there is a small technical problem, please approach counter staff for boarding pass.
So, will Google fellows do something about this? Never. First of all they have to make chess computer. Congratulations, will you collect Nobel Prize or shall I send by courier?
Then this morning I went to supermarket to buy tender coconut and Tiger balm. Just two items. Any complications? No. So I reached the counter and the boy took his gun-type thing and pointed it at both items. He said, “Thank you uncle, you want anything else or just one Tiger balm and one Maltova?”
“What nonsense you are talking mister. This is tender coconut.”
“No, no,” he said, “machine is saying Maltova.”
“Young man, you are going to use your brain or listen to this computer?”
He said, “Uncle, our rules are very strict, no arguments with computer. Do you want this Maltova or no?”
Google maybe if you get have 10 minutes free after international chess crisis whether you can handle such problems? Hopeless.
I went back home and told Mrs. Mathrubootham about the tender coconut. She said actually can you go and get Maltova also? So I went.
And then that stupid fellow asks me: “Uncle, how was the tender coconut?”
Yours in total exasperation,
J. Mathrubootham
