We need to avoid knee-jerk reactions to the school teacher murder and initiate organic changes in parenting and education.
In his extraordinary bestsellers Fooled by Randomness (2011) and The Black Swan first published in 2007 and updated in 2010, Nassim Nicholas Taleb elegantly described how human beings deal with seemingly random events or those that fall outside of the apparent norm (what are referred to as ‘outliers'). When something rare or improbable (the sighting of a black swan would fall in this category, since we know that swans are usually white) happens, we tend to undervalue its relevance and concentrate on whatever our knowledge and understanding considers more probable or likely. He describes how this approach can cost us dear. The fact that these two books have sold millions of copies is perhaps an indicator that, as a race, we are beginning to accord more importance to the occurrence of seemingly improbable events.
That the recent shocking murder of a school teacher in Chennai by her 15-year-old student, ostensibly because she made multiple adverse comments about his performance in one subject in school, is an ‘outlier' is unquestionable. Not every school child who dislikes a teacher, however intensely, takes a knife into the classroom. While I, like almost every one else in the country who has heard about this tragedy, am shocked and upset, and feel the need to express heartfelt condolences to the family of the poor school teacher, I am loath to come up with the knee-jerk reaction that is in evidence not only in the media, but in social conversations, expert columns and in cyberspace as well.
Understanding the causes
Nor would I like to dismiss this unhappy event as an ‘outlier' and get on with my life. I'd like to spend some time trying to understand if it is a Black Swan and whether anything can be done about it. There was a time when the phenomenon of school children who tragically committed suicide as a result of severe academic pressures was considered as an ‘outlier', for, such extreme behaviours were few and far between and therefore outside of the norm. However, given that such suicides have now become significantly more frequent, educationists, mental health professionals and policy makers are scrambling to find suitable reparative measures to buck the trend. I wouldn't like to wait for adolescent homicides to reach levels of statistical significance before figuring out how to prevent them.
While I wouldn't like to speculate on the causes of this particular gruesome tragedy since I don't have all the facts, I've noticed that many of the responses to it have veered towards one of two ends of a spectrum. Some have blamed indulgent parenting that has created spoiled brats who want to have their way in everything they do and are therefore unable to control their violent impulses when they are thwarted; television, cinema and video games are held responsible for seeding violence in their minds. At the other end of the spectrum are those who propagate being more understanding of and sympathetic to children's needs and providing them appropriate support in the form of school counsellors who are expected to identify early signs of potentially disturbed behaviour thereby preventing their occurrence. At both ends of the spectrum there is a general lament about the breakdown of the joint family, attributing this as the major contributor to the present scenario of poor frustration tolerance.
I think it would be irrational to look for one smoking gun in such a situation; obviously the reasons are several. We live in troubled times and our lifestyles certainly mirror this. We have a general overload of information but haven't been able to find the right kind of filters to process it with. We want the best, but often don't know how to recognise it. Every generation is smarter than the previous one as a result of which the gap between parent and child is becoming progressively wider. Our worlds have changed dramatically, but we don't want to accept this and look backwards for solutions than forward. We love our children immeasurably but don't know how to express this other than by buying them things or feeding them their favourite food. And most of all, we're always looking for others to pin the blame on and find solutions to our problems, and are surprised when our children do the same.
Time to introspect
So, rather than react angrily to what has happened and visualise worst-case-scenarios, now would perhaps be a good time for parents, educators and policy makers to take a good, hard look within themselves to see how we can, individually and collectively, initiate organic changes in the way we approach parenting and education. We need to be more mindful and predictable when it comes to parenting and balanced and equitable when it comes to education. I'm not saying that this can be guaranteed to prevent such catastrophes. But, it could certainly make school more enjoyable than being seen as a space where children run the risk of being humiliated trying to achieve a standard prescribed by someone who doesn't always understand their needs. I would imagine that happier kids from happier homes going to schools that emphasise overall development of body and mind would be less likely to experience kolaveri.
vijay.nagaswami@gmail.com
We are unable to digest the fact that a 15 year old student was driven to kill his teacher inside the class room for the adverse comments made on his performance in some subject. It is inconceivable that such a thing could happen in a country which still has a lot of respect for the teachers and celebrates teachers' day every year. Poor parentage,liberal daily allowance,and the influence of films have been cited as the possible reasons for the errant behaviour of the boy. Neither the parents nor the teachers can be expected to keep a watch on their wards 24X7. As regards pocket money the parents nowadays hardly think of it as an expense when they spend so much on tuition fee,dress,cell phone etc., And not everyone takes to violence when they see a film depicting violence in all its gory details. So the fault lies in the student himself who could not take things in its proper perspective and act accordingly.
Students can undergo anger management classes that are to help for
sure. Such classes should be practised in every schools and
potentially disturbed students are to be taken special care in
understanding their frustration and help them to vent it in right
way.
A whole hearted thanks for my favorite contributor of this column shrinking universe with unique and controversial best practices opinions. After this stabbing incident i myself was quite disturbed to raise this issue with my ward and relax him, at the same time wants him to work hard in all aspects of his life.
As soon as I read the title, i decided to stop reading this article. You
trivialize this issue by using 'Kolaveri' in your title - based on a
supposedly popular but meaningless song of the day! Perhaps you thought this
word will lead more people to read your article. You were wrong. First
be serious about the issue, then we will read what you have to say.
Thank you.
while condemning the extreme violence, I could imagine what all preceded the remarks by the teacher on the Diary. Constant nagging slighting before classmates and peers and what not. Our mind should not be clouded by the violence alone. All possible causes leading to the violence must be investigated, analyzed and avoided in future while dealing with adolescents.
Well said Dr.Vijay nagaswami --as you have said, the issue is far more
complex than what appears on the face of it . But though it is true
that happy and mentally healthy parents can make their children grow
with a positive frame of mind, many times when we observe the lives
of many people from different background, we find there is NO ONE TO
ONE RELATIONSHIP between the mental frames of children and parents
always--both IN THE POSITIVE AND THE NEGATIVE SENSE OF THE TERM. Also
all talk about making moral education mandatory in schools as if it
will solve all such problems in future is --naive and too simplistic
that it ignores an understanding of the changed world of another
generation in the form of children --even if they are our own!
Children are too sharp to know the hypocrisy of many parents and so
called elders who only preach and moralise for others and practise
just the opposite in their own lives! Children look at what you do and
not what you say or moralise.
Dear Bharat,
Having grown up in a similar family, I seem to have ended up along
similar lines as you, except for the anti depressants. What helped me
is to take a step back and look at everything from a third person's
perspective. Observing other people and watching how those much less
fortunate than me have dealt with their problems has been quite
inspirational. I'm also doing my PhD but I have a great social life
and great hope for my career ahead. Changing 25 years of mental
programming is very tough, but it is possible.
this articlehas brought up a very important because its not only
araising question about our present education system but also over our
psychology and social ethics.i also agree with what shaun warren has
said. discipline is mandatotry which should be started form
his(students) first school i.e home.
I think you have failed to take into account what is going on outside India. I live in London and the number of knifings by teenagers has grown into an alarming rate. Also alarming is the number of gangs of youth. These gangs fight with other gangs with the use of knives resulting in blood shed and loss of lives. The so-called modern culture has alienated the youth and they seem to have lost all sense of values.
The scary part is that Indians often think that aping the west is part of being "sohpisticated".
The issue is serious. I do hope everyone wakes up to this serious threat to the social fabric and do something about it.
I got greatly irritated by a comment here on 'Joint Family Concept'. I
am from a joint family and for me thats the best thing that has
happened to me.
I see that the writer is not from a Joint family. Please do not pass
comments on something you are not aware of. Also, there may be one or
two bad examples but that does not mean you can balme the concept.
"I would imagine that happier kids from happier homes going to schools that emphasise overall development of body and mind would be less likely to experience kolaveri."
Well said! After reading scores of skewed opinions on the incident, its good to finally read something rational. This is the direction we need to point our thoughts in.
Awareness of one's own feelings , training to recognise thoughts and feelings early on at school is a much neglected area in our education system. As cliched as it may sound we still are training our children to write exams and never train them to learn/educate themselves.
If only the boy had the opportunity to recognise his antagonism and get support to deal with it in an appropriate way ..
If only the teacher was a little more sensitive to the boys reactions ...may be things could have been different??
all along we have heard of assumed/presumed academic failures resulting in suicides which again is violence.
Psychology subject must need in our education system as physics,chemistry,biology .Then,psychologist should be appointed in all schools it will be grate helpful and can be avoided these types of students crime.
This is a welcome analysis with a much-needed initiative,
Psychology as a subject is much neglected in India, resulting in conflicts in family, schools/colleges, workplace, etc. Every human being is not a replica of one person (like in a minting machine). Individual differences are to be noticed to avoid conflict.
I pinpointed exactly the same lacunae in the social/educational system, we have devised and I disagreed with one of the headliner The Dinamani news paper had written. The Dinamani editor did not publish that at all. Thanks to The Hindu, to have fulfilled my desire through Mr.Vijay Nagaswami. Well sculpted article...
Excellent analysis Mr.Vijay. In my opinion, instead of propagating violence through medias by giving an unacceptable Titles similar to the one kolaveri dee, the medias can play tremendous role in portraying atleast a little decent title through which the younger generation will see and follow the right path.
The rising wealth and the new found prosperity among the middle-class in India, is leading to a very unhealthy trend among the parents, to provide only the best for the children - materially speaking !! This has meant pampering the children to a point, where discipline or scolding children is a bad word. I know of cases where parents have reprimanded Grand parents, when grandparents were chiding the grandchildren for poor behaviour. Frankly, there is no alternative to discipline. And for the better future of Children, they must face discipline, from Grand parents, parents and teachers. Imagine what would the state of Indian defence forces without discipline. Now, with the mindless action of the young boy of killing his own teacher, every 14-15 year old will be seen a potential threat. Parents must still discipline and allow schools to discipline. No school or teacher want to be harsh, and they always have good interest of their ward .
Dear Nagaswamy: I was eagerly looking forward for your views on this matter. But it is disappointing that one main aspect of the event has not been touched by you. The boy’s entire life centered around the pocket money of Rs.100 a day. There would be no two opinions as to how important it was for his happiness. His father’s patronage was extremely important and he did not want to allow anything to upset his father’s good opinion about him. The teacher’s retributions would not have incited him to this extent. Her insistence on getting the parents signature on the report was the trigger for this extreme step. I wish you write strongly about the unsuitability of this education system evolved by the British to the present day society in India. That the parents of the present day do not have neither time nor the knowledge for monitoring the education of the children is an unfortunate bitter truth. The student should not be made to ‘carry the cross’ ( a bad report ) to home.
While my late father was on deputation to the Indian Foreign Service I started my education in Bonn in a French school. As a boy of 5 I was witness to a German boy of the school being kicked violently by the school principal who later succumbed to his injuries. While this incident did leave a indelible scar in my mind in today's world too we do hear of teachers seeking recourse to physical violence in an attempt to reform errant students. Also teachers succumb to feelings of prejudice and victimise certain students for whom they develop hatred by making continuous adverse remarks. This in turn creates a rift between the student and his parents who continuously chastise him. It is here where parents teachers meeting help in reformation. In rarest of rare cases the student resort to the kind of extreme violence reported in Chennai. Teachers need to address their own personal problems differently and not find a scape goat in their wards to misdirect their anger inappropriately.
Education in human values is the need of the hour.... This helps
students in being equanamous....and make learning in Indian Schools
fun...this is the biggest drawback....Its so boring for kids to keep
writing notes etc..
The violent streak rather arrogant behavior and total disregard for teachers in today's generation is because of the total moral degradation of Indian society. the problem is much deep rooted than it seems. A child sees the world through tv shows, teachers, movies and through their parent and on later stage internet. Their own perception becomes a mingled mix of all this. So if a child sees his parent as corrupt and if a father talks in abusive way or if he pampers him in a way that makes him feel that he can do anything and get away with ,i am with you, like most parents do today then this tragedy was waiting to happen. For situation to improve the moral education of children is very important in initial stages in kinder garten and primary school. Our former president Mr. A P J abdul kalam has said that the primary school teachers should be the top qualified people like IAS because these people will shape the future generation of our country which is the most valuable resource.
Involving parents in activities such as joint study in school for a
couple of hours in a week, briefing the performance of a child right in
front of parents rather than noting his conduct down on a personal
diary, more extra-curricular activities involving students and teachers
in the campuses etc might bring about the change as enumerated in
Nagaswami's article.
I agree with Vijay Nagaswami that society must change its outlook and
redeem the unfortunate kids who fall as prey to imitation of the
west.let us join hands to save their future and bring back an amicable
atmosphere.
Nice article but not all children are as lucky. Personally, my parents
would have me rather in a room by myself than spending time with them.
Even in those small times, like meals, our (me and my siblings) likes
and dislikes are disregarded. We have to like what they like. Finally,
now I'm a PhD student (against the wishes of my parents - absolutely
with no encouragement or support from them) with absolutely no Social
Skills and never want to return home. From my childhood my solace is
with the books. Needless to say I've tried and failed many suicide
attempts, now in anti-depressants. I'm giving my case here to
illustrate that the parents' mentality is that they are superior and
everyone should tow their line, apparently, a mutant remnant of the
'Joint Family Concept'. I have seen children from joint family in a
much worse scenario. So, I would humbly request these educationists to
look from this scenario too...It is easy to track students behavior to
ascertain their home lives...
thanks to vijay nagaswami, he has tried well by lighting the matter of
education system over here, i agreed that there are a lot of loop holes
in present education system as well as in the society.
Please Email the Editor