Renounce the religion of passiveness
P. Vasudha
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It is not a lonely battle against oppression; all women are in it together
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EVERYDAY WE come across stories of molestation, sexual abuse and rape in media reports. But there are cases that never get reported because the degree of violence of the act is not serious enough to grant it space even in local newspapers, forget leading dailies.
`What happened today'
For me and several other single women living alone in metropolitan cities, the most common subject for discussion with other women has ceased to be the latest eating joints and upcoming sales; we now talk about `what happened today' and with whom. Sometimes, it is our friends we talk about, sometimes ourselves.
`What happened today' was that a man standing behind me in the bus suddenly touched me in the nether regions and though I tried to grasp his shirt collar, he pushed violently past me and disembarked from the bus. `What happened today' was that right outside the park inside my (supposedly very safe) residential colony, a middle-aged man was spotted masturbating early in the morning and leering at the little schoolchildren walking by. `What happened today' was that a young schoolboy blew a kiss to my friend as he crossed her in a busy street.
Yes, my friend was brave enough not to turn and look the other way. She went up to the teenaged boy and slapped him across the face. But the dozen or so people standing in the vicinity remained mere spectators. Why didn't anyone feel indignant at the impudence of the yet-unshaved brat?
Has society accepted such acts of men, and even boys, as regular and customary? Yes, I believe we have. Rape is a word which no longer rouses emotions of indignation and fury. I believe we need a new word to sensitise people to the horrors of rape.
However angry a woman might feel when her dignity is trifled with, she is expected to forget about it as soon as the incident is over. It is no wonder that victims of sexual molestation are so afraid of coming to the fore and speaking about the grotesque sexual and psychological crimes committed against them. More often than not, they are coerced into silence by family and friends. And even when they do decide to `wash their dirty linen in public,' they have to contend with accusations of immodesty and the fear of being ostracised by society.
If the assaulter is moved enough to propose marriage to his victim, the whole matter is hushed up, there is a hasty marriage and the girl is forced into reliving her nightmare, night after night. Either way, the state of inertia is preserved and life goes on irrespective of the fact that women live in mortal terror of being emotionally, physically and sexually pulverised by men.
Is there any hope?
Statistics are quoted in every article dealing with crime against women. For the sake of comprehensiveness, allow me to repeat these figures. A woman is harassed every seven minutes in this country. The degree of harassment ranges from eve teasing, beating, dowry-related torture, and female foeticide to rape. Only 13 per cent of molestation cases are ever reported. Only 1 per cent of miscreants are ever convicted. Is there any hope?
Not unless every human being makes a conscious decision to renounce the religion of passiveness and decides to awaken from the torpor of apathy. Not unless each woman decides for herself the role she wants to play in domestic, familial, social and economic hierarchies. Centuries of subjugation by men have eroded women's faith in the stability of their own dignity and identity. Even educated women often remain silent targets of innuendos from male colleagues at the workplace and passively accept the dominance of their husbands within the domestic space. There is an urgent need for women to break the stranglehold of societal norms and give voice to their own concerns. Women have to militate against the parochial mindset of society and de-internalise the myth of the superiority of the male.
It is not a lonely battle against oppression; all women are in it together.
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