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Updated: July 2, 2013 10:01 IST

Divya to stay with mother till family accepts Dalit husband

Staff Reporter
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N. Divya coming out of Madras High Court after appearing before the Judges in Chennai on Monday. Photo: V. Ganesan
The Hindu
N. Divya coming out of Madras High Court after appearing before the Judges in Chennai on Monday. Photo: V. Ganesan

She tells judges that she is still in love with Ilavarasan

Weeks after informing the Madras High Court that she had left her matrimonial home to live with her mother only to avoid caste tensions, Vanniyar girl N. Divya of Dharmapuri on Monday told a Division Bench that she would continue to stay with her mother until her family accepted her Dalit husband Ilavarasan, with whom she is still in love.

In remarks that seemed to dispel the impression that she had completely sacrificed her inter-caste marriage to Ilavarasan, Ms. Divya told Justice M. Jaichandren and Justice M.M. Sundresh, in a hearing held in the judges’ chamber, that she wanted her mother to accept her love.

“My mother has not accepted my marriage with him. But for the time being, I will be with her until she accepts my love.”

Her marriage to Ilavarasan of Natham Colony near Naikkankottai in Dharmapuri district had led to a mob fury against Dalits there last November. Her father committed suicide and a mob set fire to houses in the colony.

After living with him for eight months, Divya left him a month ago. On June 5, she appeared along with her mother before the judges hearing a habeas corpus petition filed by Ilavarasan’s mother.

With moist eyes, she had told the judges then that she wanted to go with her mother for the time being as she was unable to cope with the mental stress caused by caste tension.

When the matter came up on Monday, the judges heard her alone in their chamber first, keeping lawyers of both sides out.

Later, they briefed the advocates on what Divya had told them. The lawyers then briefed the media.

I can just describe it as a tragic love story with lots of trials and tribulations ,that in turn has invited,and is still inviting lots untoward incidents in the society.The evil spells casteism has spread its dirty hood and in the wicked dance ,shed the lives of many and detroyed properties and caused high tension .Let me ask,after all, if the two are in serious love ,what it is to do with the caste?
Should there have been such a furore over this?If the family doesn't like them to be united ,let them have their own way.They can be driven away from home and for sure they can eke out a living of their own.I feel that was far better than the outrageous acts carried out in the name of caste.

from:  pallikunnil Divakaran
Posted on: Jul 3, 2013 at 14:47 IST

Caste and concomitant 'identities' are the part of primitive culture. So why should we still go behind such 'identities'? Infact, caste is an artificially constructed notion aimed at 'legitimizing' the economic exploitation of labouring classes by the dominated group in the agrarian mode of production. But it has become institutionalized as it has been 'legitimized' brahmanic hindu literature. This is the time for denouincing caste and caste consciousness. It is absurdity that we still embrace caste . One's identity or content is his thoughts, deeds and words and not his/her caste or religion or colour of skin or nationality or any other things else. Let the individuals to select their partner according to their choice. Let us think about a casteless egalitarian society.

from:  Lajith Velappan S
Posted on: Jul 3, 2013 at 12:26 IST

As reformers belonging to the Periyar-Anna-Karuna lineage, its now an imperative that we make a few pronouncements against the "casteist Brahmins" and assert our position as a reformist society. Without attacking Brahmins how do we expect to remove this scourge on our society?? Weren't we taught Brahmins are the culprits...all other communities are angels.

from:  agilan
Posted on: Jul 3, 2013 at 11:34 IST

after reading this article just wondering if I had missed something. The Child Marriage Restraint Act, 1929(19 of 1929)Section 2 says Definitions -- In this Act, unless there is anything repugnant in the subject or context:(a) "Child" means a person who, if a male, has not completed twenty one year of age, and if a female, has not completed eighteen years of age ; So the Male in this article is said to be 19 years old so then can it be classified as child marriage. And is this marriage valid ?
I also read the section 3 of this act which talks about the punishment which is rather outdated in today's context.

from:  Uday
Posted on: Jul 3, 2013 at 10:00 IST

is this news item of 2013 or 1913 ? A sad story for this century..

from:  vijayan
Posted on: Jul 3, 2013 at 09:41 IST

TN is anyway so casteist that 80% reservations and quotas are caste-religion based. Why should Divya's mother be blamed when the state Govt. itself sponsors casteism to such an extent?
By the way, in TN, what caste will Divya's children (in case they 'agree' to have children) have?

from:  Rajan Shete
Posted on: Jul 3, 2013 at 08:04 IST

Many readers in this forum have wondered why should a legally married couple be
separated and why should Divya keep Ilavarasan on tenderhooks.. Although the events are
unfortunate.. There is a method to the madness.. Ilavarasan is only 19 years old, the same
as Divya and hence they cant be legally married.. The 8 months of relationship they had
hasnot yet been solemnized as marriage in the court.. So Divya runs the risk of the same..
She us trying to keep her mother happy, until Ilvarasan turns 21, so that they can get legally
married then.. Until then, i dont see this cat and mouse game ending..

from:  Gajamani
Posted on: Jul 3, 2013 at 07:15 IST

its really shame 4 our treddition system.why't understood that its time to chang our religious mind into new window of time.

from:  Mukesh jakhar
Posted on: Jul 3, 2013 at 00:43 IST

I empathize for the young lady. She is battling between her love for her mother and
her wedded husband. Her mother must trust and put her daughter's happiness and
well-being before the family honour her and own community's prejudiced views on
caste. The mother should be supported by women's organizations and sensible
individuals within her family and community. Tamil Nadu Women's Collective may
help. Here are their contact details:

Women’s Collective
No.10 East Street
Kolathur Chennai-600 099

Phone: +91 044 2550 5382

from:  Sathya
Posted on: Jul 3, 2013 at 00:40 IST

Hi Divya,
We understand your stress due to your father's demise and mother's state of health. But, when you start loving that boy did you ask or wait for your mother's acceptance? No?! but, then why now you want your mother to accept your marriage which is legal. Come on young lady, don't punish that innocent boy for the sake of selfish people around you. Ilavarasan is your soul mate go..go with him and move forward in your life.
You are a brave girl until now, don't give up your love.

from:  Mathivanan A.
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 22:00 IST

S.Seshadri speaks about how puzzling it was for the girl to go and stay
with her mother after 8 months of marriage. Give her a break, her dad
died due to incidents relating to her marriage and the associated
heartbreak that was compounded by the societal pressure.

from:  Joe Kidd
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 19:34 IST

Caste system is the main cause of India's backwardness. India can never be superpower with the divided citizens. Shame on such culture , people and the so called stupid SHASTRAS

from:  vishal
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 17:53 IST

everyone talks about Major Girl. But no one talks about his lover who is still a minor as per law. yes, he is just 20 years old and who is minor as per Indian marriege act law. She cannot live with him atlest for another year as wife. They just lived together for a while.

from:  vvlprabhu
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 17:53 IST

it is really sad to see deep-rooted casteism in 21st century where we
are boasting India of becoming a super power soon. Go back to the roots
of humanity people,there is one seed of all the castes and religions.

from:  Vidhi
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 16:19 IST

It's so unfortunate to see that still Caste discrimination rules & it's
even more unfortunate to see TN people are being blind spectators and
acting like deaf & dumb in opposing such social threats!! people are
still so conservative!?!...where are those so called...Educated
citizens...? total shame!

from:  Girija
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 15:44 IST

It is still puzzling that the girl having spent more than eight months with her husband takes stand all of a sudden that she will return to her in laws home only when her mother accepts the marriage. It is too late for her and no society will accept her stand and she is ill advised

from:  S.Seshadri
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 14:55 IST

Judges are supposed to dispense justice in accordance with the provisions of law. Why should the husband suffer because of Divya's Mother's non acceptance of Ilavarasan? Who is she to decide the fate of a legally married couple? "She would continue to stay with her mother until her family accepted her Dalit husband Ilavarasan, with whom she is still in love". What is the time frame for Divya's mother to accept Illavarsan? Why should Illavarasan suffer humiliation, seperation and be away from his wife, till Divya's mother accepts him.The orders of the Judges will encourage more couples to become victims in future due to the whimsical attitude of the girls parents. Should the law and courts encourage this. Is a Dalit husdand, lesser Mortals than a Vanniyar Girl?????

from:  ramesh
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 13:44 IST

these people push tamilnadu 100 years back...

from:  James
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 13:06 IST

These people oppose marriage based on caste. Does this mean that some
members of some caste have one leg, one eye etc? Okay, within the
Vanniyar and Dalit, who is the true Tamil? If both are not Tamils then
why the hell do the Tamil Nadu people claim that there are 72.1 million
Tamils? My view is that Dalit people are the sons and daughters of the

from:  Sandilyan
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 12:32 IST

How deep rooted this caste system is? I profusely request the mother of Divya to invite Ilavarasan to her home and formally endorse the marriage of young minds.

Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 12:17 IST

What's worse than the casteism here is the ugly sexism. If the woman had
been Dalit and the man Vanniyar, would the PMK behave the same way? The
feudal mindset of the PMK is case enough for it being banned as a
political party; after all in this country political parties have to
declare they are "socialist" to be legally registered a party. The
requirement to be not casteist, sexist or feudal is a far less intrusive
requirement, one'd think.

from:  Neel
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 11:17 IST

it is a great shame that caste divides lovers.hope PMK will not object
if its community girl loves other than dalit community ,PMK must know
they are only one step ahead of dalits in the caste ladder.

from:  l.s.mohandoss
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 10:29 IST

Unfortunate that TN has rolled back 100 years backward

from:  TakeItEasy
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 10:00 IST

It is very funny. She is a major girl and have every right to choose her husband. Why are courts silent? what is her family's acceptance of her husband got to do with anything? Let her go and live happy. As a parent your life mission and objective should be to settle your children happily where ever they are. If the groom was a thief or something then you can intervene and advise, even then you cannot and should not stop the girl from marrying the man she likes. If she made a mistake let her learn the lesson later. It is funny the court is acting like a grand parent. Another shame on Indian judiciary.

from:  Honga Singh
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 08:23 IST

Shame on society , still dividing people over caste, color and creed.
We are not matured yet, to accept all religions.

from:  Ganesh
Posted on: Jul 2, 2013 at 06:23 IST
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