An opportunity is in the offing for socially-inhibited LGBTIQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer) Keralites to come out of their shells on questions of their sexuality and gender with Queerala, the queer support collective, organising a gathering of parents and kin of known LGBTIQ people to talk about the need for family support for those with alternative sexualities and genders.
The get-together on July 15, slated to take place at the Queerala office in Kochi, is intended to reach out to and encourage reticent LGBTIQ people to be open about their sexuality/gender as also to make parents and relatives of these people aware of the need for sustained support and love.
Over the past four years since its inception, Queerala received some 3,650 support requests from self-identified LGBTIQ Malayalis from various parts of the world with two major concerns, explains Jijo Kuriakose, Queerala founder.
“First, there is this mental agony arising from the feeling that they do not fit into any social spaces, including their own households. Under severe mental stress, they migrate to another location, face social isolation or in worst cases, end their lives. Then there’s this surging pressure from their families to get married [heterosexual marriage], which many of them are unable to handle. So we thought it would be good if parents were aware of the facts pertaining to sexual orientation and gender diversities. The initiative to connect LGBT supportive parents with the community was thus born,” he says.
Of the over 3,600 support requests it received, Queerala, a fledgling organisation, could only handle about 420 cases, a mere 11%. From the cases it attended, it was realised that a vast majority (124 of 420) of inhibited LGBT people were in the age group of 31 to 40 years. Some 83 of them are aged between 21 and 30 while 48 of them are between 41 and 50. There are 14 youth in the age group of 13-17. In all, 210 people admitted to being scared to come out in the open about their sexualities while 68 of them reported facing violence, mostly from within the family.
“With the government throwing its weight behind transgenders, there’s increasing awareness about them. But along with administrative support, the LGBT people in general need robust support from their families. How do these people get socially boycotted, abandoned and end up being unwanted? It’s a mistake on the part of parents not to accept them as completely normal people. Parents generally tend to think that their wards’ sexual orientation stems from lack of adequate care and therefore force them into conventional matrimony. That actually adds to the misery of these people. That’s why we chose to initiate such an interaction where parents of known LGBT people will throw more light on the ways to deal with their wards’ sexuality/gender,” says Vihaan Peethambar, a Queerala board member.
J. Devika, associate professor at the Centre for Development Studies, writer and a gender rights activist, wonders why parents plunge themselves in misery by driving away their loving children just because they have different sexualities and gender.
LGBT people or their parents desirous of attending the private gathering may contact Vihaan (7356477287 or Jijo (9745186466). They are also available at queerala2014@gmail.com .
