Even as Norway refuses to entertain requests from India to hand over the custody of young Abhigyan and Aishwarya to their parents, the matter on Saturday reached Rashtrapati Bhavan as the grandparents of the two children met President Pratibha Devisingh Patil to seek her intervention in the matter.
Three-year-old Abhigyan and his one-year-old sister Aishwarya are in foster care in Norway after the country's Child Protection Service charged their mother, Sagarika, with “negligence and unable to bring up” the children. Barnevarne, a child care service of Norway, took custody of the children in May last year when Aishwarya was just five months old and on breast feed.
A Norwegian court has now ruled that the two children would stay in different foster homes in until the age of 18, with the parents allowed to meet them only once a year for one hour. The court has, however, said that if the couple separated, it could give the custody of the children to the father Anurup Bhattacharya who is employed as a senior geoscientist in a multinational firm since 2006.
The couple fear the worst when their visa expires next month and they would have to return to India without their children.
Talking to The Hindu, Sagarika's parents, Mantosh and Shikha Chakraborty, said the President had expressed surprise over the matter and said she had never heard of such a thing. Ms. Patil assured them that she would try her best to get the children restored to the parents. “We requested her to speak to the King of Norway as diplomatic channels had evoked no response,” Mr. Chakraborty said.
Child right laws in Norway are very strict and it was Abhigyan's “erratic” behaviour at school which made the school authorities suspect that he was probably not being brought up well. The child protection services people started visiting the Bhattacharya household for an hour every week and decided that Sagarika was not capable of looking after her children as she “was in depression, tired and had no patience”. They said the mother “over-fed” her child, fed with fingers and the boy slept with his father.
In a memorandum submitted to the President, the grandparents have said that Abhigyan had already lost his mother tongue. Both the children are traumatized as Barvevarne has arranged to keep them with foster families till 18 years. They have already broken the relation between the natural parents and the children, now they are going to snap the relation between the kids, they said.
The External Affairs Ministry had sent letters to the Norwegian government on December 28 last year and again on January 5 but failed to get any response from them.
“While I do not doubt the intentions of the authorities in Norway, taking away children from their legal guardians who are citizens of another country certainly reflects a wide cultural gulf between their understanding of child care and that in our country,” said Brinda Karat, Polit Bureau member of the Communist Party of India (Marxist), who accompanied the couple to Rashtrapati Bhavan.
Keywords: child care, child rights laws, child custody, Norweigian children case
I feel sorry for the parents and hope the matters are resolved quickly in the best interest of the kids. We shouldn't make judgments based on the limited information available but instead support both the Norwegian authority and the family concerned to clarify any confusion, acknowledge any concerns regarding wellbeing of children and come out with immediate best alternatives.
Having lived away from India for some time, i would like to highlight few issues.1) If western authorities have some concerns about a child, they usually try to consider help from other relatives locally before taking extreme steps, which usually cost them a lot. 2) Young NRI parents are usually working fulltime. Irrespective of their financial status they remain vulnerable for mental and social stress which can influence upbringing of child. 3) Yes,Indian culture is different but child safety and wellbeing is universal.Am sure Norway will now consider grandparents as best alternatives than fostering.
Post pregnancy depression is very common for any woman. Unlike parents living in India where there can avail help from many relatives and friends in bringing up their children, NRI parents are the worst affected I would say. Living in foreign countries has its own ups and downs. NRI parents get very little support from relatives and family as they are physically living away from their dear and near ones. With a toddler and a just born, the parents have tried their best to bring up their children. With any knowledge about Indian culture and the importance of bonding between children and parents, Norway child welfare service has done a serious offense. Indian government should help and unite the parents and the babies. No matter whatthe parents are going to love their children but this kind of love and care can never be given to those small children by the so called "child welfare service."
This is truly atrocious!!The mother has two young kids to manage and it is no fun,especially when one is still a baby.I can understand if she seemed depressed or tired.It is only natural.That too with the added inconvenience of strangers parking themselves in her house for 1 hr each day in the pretext of watching her 'parenting skills',what else can one expect?
My mom fed me with her hand and I grew up to be very fine.And yes,we shared beds too!!!Norway ...please,our culture is totally different,maybe you can keep yours and not impose it on us!
Either way the children are the losers. The lust of foreign nationality has misfired. It is not whether they are fed with fingers or a silver spoon or where they slept. Immigrants have to be aware and follow the local laws. It’s a catch22 situation because children are of Norwegian nationality. This issue can be solved by a sane human rights solution option. If not parents then grand parents should get the custody.
What is the real background behind the issue, is not clear ? I don't understand why the Norwegian court will act in such absurd manner ? I think Judegement came in November 2011, issues relates to May 2011. I feel there is lot more than what meets the eye.
I hate to sound rude but I seriously think everyone needs to calm down a bit. It would be far more worrying if Norway Social Services ignored the situation and had left things as they were. Atleast this is indicative of them acting on their concerns. Granted it may have been blown out of proportion and they should have taken other measures to sort out the issues rather than placing the children in foster care. We all do not know the real issues in the home and perhaps these are documented in the social services. It is highly unlikely that children are removed for the issues mentioned in the article. Maybe there were greater concerns. My issue is, if the mother was/is depressed then she should be offered support i.e. counselling; perhaps she is feeling overwhelmed with raising 2 children away from her network of supports in a foreign country. There is no need to view the mum negatively just because she has depression. Let's just calm ourselves and let things sort themselves out.
The Indian government should ensure that both of the children are
returned to their biological parents. The government should convince the
norwegian government about the Indian system of parenthood. It breaks my
heart to think about the pain being felt by the parents and the children
I agree with Fatima mam, its truly very unfortunate. I think Indian government must take strong steps now. We cannot sacrifice our culture to make the Norwegian happy. There is nothing wrong if a mother feed her child with her fingers or a father sleeps with his child. The people who support the act done Norwegian as right, might have adopted the western culture so they don't understand why a mother feeds her child with her hand. I think now those people would also say that a mother breast feeding her child is wrong.
Suprising of such kind of mentality. When God has made us how can a mother's hands be unused to feed her child. One should know love flows directly thru the hands while feeding. I suppose Norwegians use only spoon while cooking their food without touching a bit with their hands which is not possible. And look at the past history and Goddesses who used their hands to feed their children and loved ones.eg. Yoshoda mother who fed Lord Krishna with her hands only and the child who relished it. And what about a mother who is giving birth to her child after all the pains and sufferings does not have the right to feed her own child. And what about the father who cannot sleep with his own child. How can he express his love and care towards his child? Is there any humanism and love between the blood relationship. Where there is no emotions there is no relationship. Be human and not inanimate thing. Think what God will like and then all will be right.
This is really BAD!!! Separating children from their parents. The GOI should take steps on this, and bring children back. In India children sleep with their parents, its usual since they get the feeling of security. True its due to the cultural gap.
i dnot think indian parents should be divested from having their children in foster care, i have seen foster care,whole children brought up in care are either suffering immotion,social intermixing disorder or personality interection problems, it is 100% sure no one replace parental care love,compassion with automaticate machine like care,i request whole indian to support and bring back them and hand ovr to parent as soon possible,mother is best guardian to take care of their children
I have raised my kids in the west and know that Indian parenting and western parenting is quite different. Feeding a child who is more than six month old by parent is considered force feeding in many states here too and child care providers will not do that. But Indian parents will feed even a seven year old sometimes to pamper. Its not about child not being independent, its one way of expressing love in our culture. Before taking children away, these authorities should have asked mother to take some parenting classes and has empowered a mother by teaching her. Becoming mother in every sense is a ongoing process. Similarly co-sleeping of a two year old child with parents is very much accepted in India and also in many western families too. This is rude and criminal to separate parents from their kids and complete disregard for cultural diversity.
Our Govt should take very strict step to protect our citizens in Norway or simply break all relationship with such country which promotes racism. It is highly undemocratic as it would be difficult to follow religion and culture. Thank God We have born in INDIA.
Nordic countries do have very strict laws which are usually interpreted with an iron hand especially against immigrants. A child saying he/she got a small whack once could result in them being taken away. In this case, it appears that the diagnosis of 'depression' was handed out by the social workers, not doctors. Even then, Nordic countries winter create many depressed people and postpartum depression is also a possible condition, none of which is reason enough to take away children until they are 18! If there is a problem, why can't the couple be given counselling, or shorter term of foster care until the mother feels better. And they are all Indian nationals. not Norwegian citizens. The complaint seems to be against the mother, and it seems bizarre that the father is told they would consider returning the children if he divorced her; doesn't he have any rights over them now? Living in such a country, I can assure that we need not feel they are a 'mature' society which would do right
The whole issue has created unwanted stir. Ofcourse the authorities in Norway has nothing against this people. the 12000+ people being taken care by the govt. are because some parents are HIV, some criminals, some psychologically unable to care and many other reasons. The matter in respect to indian parents is under judicial review, but ofcourse there was something wrong either with the kids or/ and the mother. else why was this done.
I am proud that in the global human community there are countries and goverments like in norway taking so much care of children . Also the claims and propaganda by some self claimed idiot experts on star news claiming indian cultural difference is a mere nasty joke.... ofcourse there are 2 points in india we roam about spitting on road does not entitle us to do the same in US and then claim immunity on basis of the great indian circus aka culture. finally if parents are incapable they should not be returned under any pretext
Shocking! that we Indians have not done anything to keep this family together. Europeans have killed what is called family culture and will never understand the bonds of human relationship. Feeding a child with the hands or eating with the hands is part of our culture, and many who believe the Norwegians did a grand thing, probably have been fed by hand with great love by their mothers.
Even shocking is the idea that the parents should separate if they have to get the child back.
oh! god, why do my brothers and sisters that belong to this great nation, tend to blindy follow the European masters! Give us a break!
Norwegian "Child Welfare" is being arrogant and not understanding of the cultural differences between India and Norway. If sleeping in the same bed is assumed to be child abuse, it just shows the level if distrust and distance that is required to be maintained between the father and the child. This is ridiculous, but it does not stop some people from blindly passing judgement on the mother and the father.
Laws of a country which are made keeping the best interest of the
child must be respected by all living in the country. In the present
case there are more than one factor that has been taken into
consideration by the Norwegian Authorities before resorting to the
action. Therefore, no fault can be found with the same. We Indians
should take a lesson from this case. 'Child Neglect' is rampant in our
Country. Children are subjected to various kinds of mental and
physical harassment by the parents themselves in the name of 'Beliefs
and Superstition'. Rampant child labor is another example.
Unfortunately, in our country, not only the laws are weak and
defective but also our Governments are insensitive
towards the child rights.
Return the kids to their parents.
Hearing this shock left me shock and devastated.
I would want all efforts taken by the Indian government in this case. Because I am a mom and can understand what would be my state of mind if my kids are separated from me.
And people who judge saying the mother was depressed, or anything like that, just think of kids you have at your home. Depression is too harsh a word to accuse a woman to take away her kids.
If mother is depressed because she fed her kids, My mother still feeds me with her hands if I ask her to and I am 28.This world is getting weirder day after day and can't stand people who spell a word against the feelings of that mother.
What the heck? The authorities did that because the child was overfed,
fed by hand and slept with his father? I don't know about Norway, but in
India these are indicators of a well looked after child. Clearly a
cultural gap. I know some countries frown on eating with hands, but
having a problem with "sleeping with father" is bizarre
This is a travesty of justice, if the mother had a mild case of post partum depression and the father was stressed working in a sunless land like Norway, there is bound to be a a little tension at home, these however are the most vague spurious pretexts on which the children have been, 'abducted' by the Norwegian Government. Rather than sending off meaningless -'demarches', The Foreign Minister should summon the Norwegian envoy and ask him directly to release these kids.This is an absolute national disgrace and horrifyingly traumatic to these children. The media needs to highlight this case on an international basis to draw attention to the cruel and unusual methods of the government and people in Norway.
My two children grew up away from India amidst cultures as varied as Vietnamese, Japanese, African and Canadian. I tried to raise them in the best possible way in both Indian and 'western' ways so that while they felt at ease in an alien culture, they did not grow up completely rootless. During our long stays abroad, we did notice that some of our Indian friends were very careless about how their children were looked after. Very little attention was sometimes given about hyegene - particularly while feeding. In large parties we noticed little children moving around with food in their dirty hands, dropping and picking it up to eat with no attention from their parents. Anoher awful sight was children being kept awake during 'parties' that usually ended in early mornings! No wonder some cultures find this kind of behaviour atrocious, which it surely is. While the Norwegians might have over-reacted in this particular case, we should also be more careful about raising children.
Since we do not know what the 'erratic' beaviour of the elder child that initially drew the attention of the Norwegian authorities it is difficult to say what led to the drastic step of taking the children away from their parents. But two things should be made absolutely clear to the champions of 'child protection' : (a) a large number of people all over the world feed their children with fingers and they will continue to do so whether Norway likes it or not. Norway, or for that matter any other country, has no right to dictate how we would eat or feed our children; (b)it is our custom that little children sleep with their parents - their sleeping in a separate room is a new concept and is not widely prevalent. We are not going to change this because of the wish of another culture. Separating such small children from their parents is not warranted. I wonder how the younger child is being breast-fed now and by whom. Perhaps in Norway the child has no right to her mother's milk?
The issue is clearly being blown out of proportions, I simply can't
believe that a mature society like Norway would take such a drastic
measure only because of hand feeding and sleeping with father. There is
more to the case than what meets the eye.
It is incredible that a state can infringe on the private personal affairs to such an extent that it reduces the individual to becoming an animal bereft of any identity as an individual human being. And this is being proudly presented as the wisdom of western culture! I am shocked that some people are advocating for this type of infringements on personal and private liberties in India!
Inspite of all its difficulties and poverty and inequality, India is a far superior place to live in because of its environment of liberty and personal freedoms. Because if you take away personal freedoms, you have nothing else to live with! Dehumanisation is complete!
As a child rights development worker I support Brinda Karat in seeking return of the children to their parents. Incarcerating them in state run centres and separating them is appalling. State run homes rarely make up for the emotional support of families. The mother needs help, not further punishment of loss of her children.(Norway despite rating high in the HDI index reports half of the population being under anxiety driven disorders including depression.In 2009 psychiatric illness in Norway were costing as much as NOK 70 billion every year). World over more attention is needed: Counseling all concerned parties and working out measures that would have encouraged a better and more humane outcome is what is needed. (Most Indian children sleep with their parents and the other instances cited are ridiculous ...many of my foreign friends eat with their hands and overfeeding children is a global phenomenon.)
Deepthi Ravi, has very interesting comments, having lived in over 10 countries I have to just disagree with her. You can only integrate in a society that lets to integrate with it. And try learning Norwegian in couple of months that too when you know in six months you will be abck to your homeland.
It's understandable to make this a "clash of cultures" issue.
However, if the mother is indeed in depression and unable to rear
her children properly (and Indian and Norwegian norms couldn't be
that different), then it is in the children's interests to be reared
away from the parents. Separating the children from parents is
indeed a very, very, very drastic step which doesn't always prove
beneficial. However, all I'm suggesting is that this may not be a
case of cultural differences so much as the (Norwegian) state's
interest in doing what's in the best interests of its wards, given
the parents aberrant behavior.
I understand that there are 'cultural' differences between the way children are brought up in India and Norway, but when the kids are going to grow up in Norway, why did not the parents take care to bring them up in such a way that the differences are not so obvious? I think parents should help children integrate into the society, wherever they live.
It is very unfortunate that the Indian government has not yet taken appropriate steps to bring the kids to their parents. I strongly believe that Indian government should go to any extremes to reunite the kids and the parents.
the news is very thought provoking.i really appreciate the child
protection services in the country norway.giving birth to children doesn't entitle all powers on the children by parents.their acts are
to be in normal in growing children.similar type of laws/acts like
in norway are necessary in our country also. child abuse ,
particularly girl child is widely prevalent in some parts in
india.recent studies indicates this also prevalent in educated urban
regions.we have to study thoroughly norway laws and strictly implement
in india and to build a strong powerfull and happy india.
The Indian government should ensure that both of the children are returned to their biological parents. The government should convince the norwegian government about the Indian system of parenthood. It breaks my heart to think about the pain being felt by the parents and the children
Well we need to also take into account the Norwegian authorities charge that the mother is suffering from depression.India needs to wake up and acknowledge that depression to any one of the parents is not suitable for bringing up a child.
Purely lack of knowledge of cultural difference on part of Norwegian authorities.
Norway is already under Human rights problem due to 20000 children taken away from parents on pre-text of one reason or other.. This is just absurd. we should get our kids back from those lucky Norwegian couple who have been given 2 kids just for free.
This is ridiculous and amounts to state sponsored kidnapping. It is
pathetic that this spineless government has watched mutely for 8 months,
sitting on their thumbs all this while.
India should demand that its citizens be returned immediately or
reciprocate with all Norwegian nationals within India.
Enough of racism.
This is simply unbelievable !!!I can't imagine anything more cruel than this. Lets hope that the Indian Govt. can help them.
Atrocious! Indian govt has to do better than this. these children have
been taken away from their parents for over 6 months! And we are making
demarches?!! And for what?? Feeding the child with hands?
India should demand that the children be restored to their natural
parents lest they may end up like the “perfectly” brought up
Norwegian montster Anders Behring Breivik who initiated a terrorist
attack in Oslo, Norway resulting in the deaths of more than 70
people. After detonating a bomb in the city, Breivik shot and killed
69 people, mostly teenagers in cold blood.
We wish to record our deep appreciation to Ms. Brinda Karat for
high lighting this issue which had largely gone unnoticed with in the country. The hypocritical Norway child welfare laws lie in taters when a “perfectly” brought up, confirming to the letter of law, Anders Behring Breivik initiated a terrorist attack in Oslo, Norway resulting in the deaths of more than 70 people. After detonating a bomb in the city, Breivik shot and killed 69 people, mostly teenagers in cold blood. We can assure our Norwegian friends that Indians most of them are brought up naturally with “mother "over-fed" her child fed him with her fingers and that the boy slept with his father” would never dream of such beastly act. This shocking cruel incident of Norwegian state separating children should come as warning to Indians enamored by western artificial life style divorced from nature.
Alright, Norway..You stepped far too far without knowing another culture..It is common for Indian children to sleep with their parents..Fortunately, Indian society runs on love from the heart and it is not a skewed society of predominantly child abusers..Before yuo project your laws on immigrant workers, take a trip to India to see how kids are raised there..And to fault a woman for feeding her own child with her fingers, that IS the way we feed our children..We have all grown up that way and are fine..The food is tastier as mothers have fed with their fingers, with their love also being fed that way..
We don't use plastic to feed children and that is why the emotional bond is also not plastic, like it probably is, in Norway..So skip this kind of judgement in ignorance..And next time, anyone from Norway steps into India, we don't want you to kiss in public, or wear shorts, since it is not India's culture either.And Yes, you will have to eat and feed your children with your own fingers!
I'm absolutely surprised by the ruling of the Norwegian court. How could a court give such an outrageous order leading to estrangement of little children from their parents? Perhaps Indian understanding of childcare does not jive with that of Norwegian's but how could one guarantee that the children would be well brought up without their parents?
If nothing else works, then only option could be that father divorced
his wife and get custody of the children. He can then re-marry his wife?
But seriously if the mother has serious depression then not sure. But
this is crazy. Now they are separating the children also. Indian
government should get involved into this and help this family.
The government of Norway is doing the right thing under the current circumstances.
If the Indian couple are having a troubled relationship, they should lawfully separate and the father should appeal for the custody of the children. They cannot send these kids to India because they are not Indian citizens. However a cultural divide is pretty apparent here. Feeding kids with hands and sleeping with their father is common India culture. These points should not be considered for putting kids into a foster home.
Sounds like a case of over-officiousness and too little common sense on the part of some Norwegian government employees. As there is no mention of any abuse or maltreatment of the children, it seems absurd that they are planning to deprive two children of their parents, and each other's company, and condemn them to foster care, on the basis of some superficial and culturally uninformed evaluation!
Is feeding a child with one's fingers grounds for screwing up the child's entire upbringing and dumping them in foster care?
In a way I think the kids are lucky as they are only one who got out
off their horrible parents. There are millions, if not more, of cases
in India thanks to the stupid antiquated traditions. In many lower and
middle classes children are a source of income. In other families,
children are, for many reasons, burnt, whipped, beaten, starved etc.
In many cases, the children were punished for no mistake of their but
just to feed the vanity of their parents. I don't know Mrs. Sagarika
falls under which category, but I think we should THANK Norway for
taking care of the kids. I wish the kids good, bright and happy
future.
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