There are some things you just do not dream of doing; they’re so obviously stupid. For example, as Jim Croce wrote and sang:
You don’t tug on Superman’s cape,
You don’t spit into the wind
You don’t pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
And you don’t mess around with Jim
So, to criticise the updates of the @MumbaiPolice account on Twitter, when everyone in the world and their grandmothers are praising it, is like spitting into the wind.
Here’s a gem from Mumbai Police. “If she gets a scar, you’ll be put behind the bar.” Will he serve me an Old Monk with ice and water once he’s behind whatever bar Mumbai police puts him, I wonder. “Don’t let ‘hash’ give you a ‘tag’. #HoshMeinAao”; “Hi! Have you ‘meth’ us? #HoshMeinAao” are other flashes of genius.
Actor Riteish Deshmukh is “Super impressed with the quirky campaign by @MumbaiPolice.” Industrialist Naveen Jindal is delighted as well, saying “Mumbai police on a roll! Great sense of humor and messaging” when he saw the update, “If you roll, we will weed you out. #HoshMeinAao.”
There are zillions of others in love with the @MumbaiPolice updates. I’m not. I’m going to tug on Superman’s cape. I’m going to spit into the wind. This attempt at punning and stand-up comedy by the Mumbai Police is rubbish. When I want humour, I’ll go to the Comedy Store.
The Mumbai Police are obviously attempting to appear friendly and accessible, and that’s a good thing. But this Twitter tone ends up becoming exclusive (talking to the minuscule English-speaking Mumbai-based Twitterati) rather than inclusive, wasting 140 characters each time on messages that are understood by an elite few.
There’s also the issue of the brand. Do I want my police force to be cool and funny and with-it? Are these the adjectives or phrases you would use to describe the force?
I would want the Mumbai Police to be reliable, trusted, fearless, trained, honest, feared by criminals, in control and accessible. Not funny.
My concern is compounded by the fact that a pun, almost by definition, is layered, which means that even the lettered have to think twice to get the message. If the department wants citizens to receive certain messages, keep the messages simple and easy to understand.
Another concern is that the nature of the messages lends itself more to broadcast than to dialogue. “Report anyone you know using meth” would be far more impactful than “Hi! Have you ‘meth’ us?” The result is that the messages end up looking like an outdoor advertising campaign (indeed, some of the messages have found their way to Ads of the World, a great place for scam ads). There’s a serious lack of understanding of what social media could be used for.
Dear Mumbai Police, use Twitter for conversations. Use Twitter to get people to talk to you and inform you about what is happening in various parts of the city. Use Twitter to allow people to get in touch with you easily and quickly when they need to. Use Twitter to crowdsource useful information and data. Use Twitter to inform.
Used in the right way, social media will help you achieve what seem to be your original objectives – you will come across as accessible and friendly.
And you will not need a social media agency or consultant to generate a laugh a minute. Talk in simple language. If your social media engagement makes for a safer city and a more efficient police force, who cares about the purity of language or spelling mistakes? Get citizens to respect your uniform, not your stand-up act.
The writer is Editor, Storyboard
