MUMBAI: For perhaps the first time in the country, 10 parents of LGBTQ persons from Mumbai came together recently for a closed-door parents’ support group workshop to share experiences and also chart out a future course of action. The meeting was organised by Solaris Pictures, as part of its ongoing engagement with LGBTQ community and parents, for its upcoming feature film Evening Shadows directed by Sridhar Rangayan. In order to give the group some shape and an action plan, the workshop was structured and moderated by social development consultants Alpana Dange and Pallav Patankar.
The meeting was attended by 10 parents — mothers Chitra Palekar, Padma Iyer, Sarojini Dash, Nargis Wadia, Aruna Desai, Mangala Aher, Bharati Divgikar, Vidya Phadnis, and fathers Pradeep Divgikar and Ramesh Kathale.
Speaking with The Hindu , Ms. Desai, a HR professional, said she had been attending various parent meetings since 2007, when her son first came out. “There are a few parents like me who attend regularly,” she said, “and we had been talking about forming a group. During the time the movie was coming out, we decided to have a proper discussion. It was important because it was the first time that only parents were there and we could talk about our own experiences and discuss how to reach out to others.”
Important helpline
Mr. Divgikar, who also has a son who is gay, said he has been attending the parent meetings organised by Gay Bombay as well as the acceptance meets for a few years. He said a structured meeting like the one he had recently been part of could make a huge difference, because it could eventually become an important helpline.
“There are organisations like Humsafar Trust and equal rights activist like Harrish Iyer who are doing great work. This could be another channel to encourage parents to come out of their shell, to explain that society is slowly changing and that it will not look at you differently.” During the meeting, he said, the parents discussed their stories and the different paths to acceptance that they all undertook. “My wife and I have always been very accepting since my son came out, and my house has been an open house for people to come and have discussions. So I’m not exactly a counsellor but I feel parents like us can reach out and help others.”
Mr. Rangayan said the the main objective of the workshop was to develop strategies for a cohesive parents’ support group that would help each other, help other parents who may need information or peer-to-peer counselling, and also to be a visible group in the media and society.
Structured support
“There have been parents support meets and acceptance meets in the past,” Mr. Rangayan said, “organised by Gay Bombay and Yaariyan, but the parents have mostly been sharing their experiences in public and when their children have also been around. This was the first time ever they got to spend an entire day with each other, sharing and having discussions in a structured formal manner.” Mr. Rangayan said he has been trying to make a group like this happen for several years.
Part of the funds that were raised for Evening Shadows was set aside to facilitate the meet. The film is about a conservative mother in a small town in Southern India and the difficulty she faces with society around her when her son tells that he is gay and has been living with his lover for the past four years.
