Mumbai: The Verma couple, in their eighties, lived alone as all three of their children were abroad. Having followed a disciplined lifestyle, they enjoyed an active and healthy life, and were role models to many younger couples. But a fall and a subsequent hip fracture put Ms. Verma out of action; caretaking took a toll on Mr. Verma’s health. Ms. Verma took all this hard, and became depressed. Mr. Verma began having sleepless nights with the fear that if he fell sick, how would they manage?
“Instances like this occur all around us, the common thread being an all-pervasive feeling of futility and hopelessness. This is often due to the inability to see a future, which has a different and acceptable outcome,” says Manohar Rangnekar (80), Assistant Director and seniormost volunteer with Samaritans, Mumbai.
Understanding the emotional state of persons in such situations and offering them unbiased listening on telephones or face-to-face helps them deal with the challenges and equips them with skills that go a long way in making them emotionally self-sufficient, he says.
With the aim of providing emotional support to the distressed free of cost, Samaritans was established over two decades ago by the late Dr. Siara Dastur, a psychiatrist with JJ Hospital, under the umbrella of Befrienders UK.
Unbiased listening
Dr. Dastur started a free helpline manned by three volunteers, and was supported by The Samaritans Bombay Trust (1961). However, initially, the concept did not work out well, mostly because telephones were still a luxury in those days and a caller had to use a public telephone with no privacy. Till 2015, Samaritans ran a single phone line at just one time of the day. Today, however, there are three phone lines that receive 8 to 9 calls a day, averaging about 250 calls a month. Calls are attended to by 30 volunteers from 3 pm to 9 pm each day.
Working with the tagline, ‘We listen, we understand, we care’, the volunteers address the feelings of an entire spectrum — from despondency, helplessness, distress, despair to suicidal feelings, thoughts and ideation. “The emphasis is on listening skills with empathy,” says Mrunalini Oka, a volunteer since four years.
Cynara Pinto, a volunteer for a year-and-a-half years, says Samaritans does not offer solutions to callers. Instead, it encourages them to think their way out of the emotional mess they find themselves in, in an unbiased, non-critical manner. “We aim at emotional independence and help the person regain the confidence to make decisions pertaining to his/her life,” she says.
People with mental stress go through a period where they are contemplating and weighing their options. It is at this stage that listening skills are required, says Rita Bandopadhyay, another volunteer.
Selection of volunteers
There is a stringent selection process, involving a personal interview followed by an intensive six-days in-house training programme on active listening. The volunteers come from all walks of life and there is no bar on educational qualification. Anyone above the age of 18 years can apply.
“The volunteers are given training in active listening and on being non-judgmental. They are trained to identify troubled individuals and refer them to professionals,” says Sachin Chitambaran, senior volunteer and chief trainer. Each volunteer works once a week for four hours.
Other activities
Once the volunteer identifies troubled individuals who need further support, they are referred to the professional unit where a trained and experienced counsellor provides counselling free of cost. Consultation by a qualified psychiatrist is also offered to those who ask for it.
Acceptance
In India, stigma and discrimination are major obstacles to the development of mental health. “In such a scenario having a friendly voice with the ability to befriend the caller is the logical step for a person who is undecided or uncomfortable about approaching a counsellor,” says Shernaz Doctor, a senior counsellor and one of the founder-members of the helpline.
A fast-paced, competitive life as well as decreased coping skills and lack of social support systems are some of the reasons for the rise in depression, she says. Breakdown of the joint family system, increase in divorce rates, pressure to perform is taking a toll on people aged 14 to 40 years, while loneliness, along with financial, emotional insecurity plagues the elderly, says Ms. Doctor.
Eventually, says Mr. Rangnekar, it is his desire to see that suicide is considered to be an epidemic. “Psychiatrists and mental health professionals, social workers, hospitals, teachers, educational institutes and the media have to work together on a consistent and regular basis to educate and enlighten people. It is the collective responsibility of all the agencies to work together for a healthy society,” he says.
