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When they are caught young

Photo: S. S. Kumar

Raising awareness A student reading the ’personal safety flyer’ distributed by the Chennai Corporation in schools

Anita has spent many sleepless nights thinking about what her neighbour did to her when she was a child. It was much later that she realised that the neighbour had not been affectionate with her but abusing her.

“My neighbour used to tell me stories and feed me chocolates. He also abused me for nearly four years. I was nine when it dawned on me that I was being abused but I never said a word to anyone, as I didn’t know how it would be perceived. The molester who abused me has kids now and also stays in a joint family where he has access to more kids. I shudder thinking about the fact that maybe he is abusing more children, ” says Anita, who is a software engineer.

Anita is just one among the many who have experienced child sexual abuse (CSA).

Though extensive data on the prevalence of child sexual abuse in India is not available, several studies have been conducted, which indicate that the problem is bigger and uglier than it may seem to be. Also, only 12 per cent of cases of CSA are disclosed worldwide and what we know is only the tip of the iceberg.

The 1997 study on middle and upper class women from Chennai, Mumbai, Kolkata, Delhi and Goa by RAHI Foundations, an NGO based in Delhi revealed that 76 per cent of respondents had been sexually abused as children, with 71 per cent been abused either by relatives or by someone they knew and trusted.

Tulir-CPHCSA’s (NGO based in Chennai) study in 2006, conducted among 2,211 school going children in Chennai, indicates a CSA prevalence rate of 42 per cent. Children of all socio-economic groups were found to be equally vulnerable and 48 per cent of boys reported having been abused.

Anybody could be an offender. Most are adults, but increasingly instances of offenders below the age of 18 are being reported worldwide. Contrary also to what people think, a person who abuses a child is usually not someone with a psychiatric disorder. In fact, often an abuser is a “regular” person who leads a “routine” life and is known to the victim. Though most abusers are men, women can also be abusers. CSA is not reported by children because in most cases, the children are not aware that they are being abused as it is in the guise of affection, games and special attention. This process of making the child feel complicit in the abuse is called grooming, which is the crux of abuse. Grooming ensures silence and secrecy.

“I have a job that I am really good at, but deep down I know the abuse has affected my confidence and I find it difficult to trust people. I shy away from relationships and binge on food when I am alone,” says Anita.

No two people get affected by CSA in the same way. While some may experience physical effects for most it usually manifests behaviorally and emotionally.

There is very little available in terms of support system for both children and adult survivors. “We have been working with schools and educators to increase the awareness among children. This year, on The World Day for the Prevention of Child Abuse (November 19), we launched the ‘Daring to Care’ campaign that asks schools to look beyond academics and address child protection as well, contributing to a culture of safety,” says Vidya of Tulir.

The Chennai Corporation has been distributing awareness material to students in its schools for the past two years.

‘Askios’ is an internet support group. Survivors can get in touch with others who have gone through similar experiences and help each other in the process of healing. There are also other organisations such as Rahi foundation (Delhi) and Elaan (Kolkata) that work with CSA survivors.

“Legal framework in India is not yet geared up to cater to the nuances of CSA. Currently, the law does not even recognise the difference between child pornography and pornography in general,” says Vidya.

NGOs, the survivors’ family, mental health care professionals such as psychiatrists, psychologists and therapists need to work in tandem with each other to ensure that the healing process is complete.

Talk to colleagues, friends and family. Talk to your children about the issue and empower them to protect themselves. Most importantly, don’t just hear children, listen to them.

You could use aids such as audio book “Hugs and Tickles” ( available in book stores) and visual aids such as posters to broach the subject with your kids.

MYTHS

CSA occurs mostly in poor, illiterate families

Only girls are subjected to CSA

Even though children are gullible, they don’t lie about their abuse

Children are abused only by strangers

Reporting an abuse will cause more harm than good

RESOURCES

http://www.tulircphcsa.org/

http://askios.tripod.com/

http://www.rahifoundation.org/

http://soundofsilence.hyd.googlepages.com/

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